Lee McKinnis (57)
Kristina Marynczak (37)
Killian Noonan (36)
Melissa Castillo (32)
NikoVelazquez (27)
Shannon Ratzel (23)
Michelle Reyes (22)
Kyle Barczak (21)
Maura Bilek (21)
Susan Bayaa (21)
For this weeks reading review journal I would like to talk about the volunteer fair that our class attended in the library. When I first arrived at the library I saw all the previous people and there poster boards. I thought we were going to do a lot of talking and really have to know are stuff. As soon as my group walked in we saw that the group before us did the same organization which was St. Vincent De Paul but they did the soup kitchens and we did the clothing drive. We set the poster up then we waited. We had my Ipad up to show the mission statement but no one actually watched it. It is kind of disappointing that no one really showed up to look at our poster boards. The only real people that showed up were some staff members and one other class. We were all told to dress up which I found to be necessary before I went to the event and found it unnecessary after the event. I didn’t think everyone needed to dress up for the event because there wasn’t that much going on to be honest. The whole time we were just waiting for our guest speaker to arrive from share your soles. Mona Purdy was supposed to come at around 12:30 when we started the fair but she was running a little late and we just waited. I felt bad because I didn’t get the chance to hear her speak because by the time she was speaking it was around 1:45 and I had class. But the fair in general was okay I felt that there should have been more people but that was out of anyone’s control.
Citation
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Julian Operana
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Julian Operana
For this weeks reading review journal I read Chapter 8 of Why White Rice called “Advice, Writer to Writer” by Thomas Dow. The first part of the chapter ask is it really true that there are no dumb questions. There are in fact dumb questions because you can ask a better question if the clear answer to a question is no. I learned that is bad that you don’t care about a class because is is college time consuming and expensive. Its not like high school where all the classes were free. Another thing that confuses people is can you use “I” in your writing. It says in this chapter you can because it shows your life, your interests, and yourself to give amazing results. “When the writer is really present in the writing, everything about the experience is enhanced: the tone is more confident, the focus is more clear, the examples are more vivid, and the experience is very satisfying for the reader.” You can also use “you” in your writings because you are talking directly to the audience. I and You can be used effectively in your writing if you use them properly. You must make sure you are deliberately choosing to use first or second person. Consider your audience, and if you are unsure, it best to ask. One statement that I really like in this chapter was that “we continue to grow as writers and thinkers over a lifetime” It really shows that we are still growing no matter how old you are.
Dow, Thomas. “Advice, Writer to Writer” Why White Rice?: Thinking Through Writing. Dubuque,IA:Kendall Hunt Pub,2010.175-196.Print -
Julian Operana
We care on what you wear Before There…
We care on what you wear.
Before
There are many people in the world that do not have the proper clothing for their environment and some do not have enough clothes to survive. So, when Mr. McGuire assigned us to another service opportunity, I had in mind to help those people without clothes. This time we got to choose our place and what we wanted to do. Personally I didn’t know there was going to be another service opportunity after our first one. Also, this time we were put into groups which were decided by something like a speed dating. We went around talking to everyone individually were we would sort of get interviewed. After the speed dating exercise we choose are groups for the project. The next time we met we had to come to a agreement on which service opportunity we all wanted to do. I thought that Alternative would be good which is a service. Alternative is a break dance studio in Chicago where we try to teach kids how to break dance, take kids of the streets, and to give them a new hobby. No one in my group were really interested which I understood because its not for everyone. At first we were confused on which organization we wanted to do. Then we narrowed it down to Share Your Soles but then Mr. McGuire announced to the whole class that he did not want anyone to do the same thing they did before and their was a couple of people in my group that did share your soles already. So after thinking we decided on the Salvation Army. So we planned on putting bins in different buildings of Moraine Valley and starting a clothing drive. The next day we had problems because we called Salvation Army and they only accept people who are on court duty or have certain papers where it says we need to be there. We were lost because the project was due the following Tuesday and the presentation was coming up fast. Then we talked to Mr. McGuire and told him our current situation with the service learning opportunity. He told us we had to find another organization because we had no other choice. He gave us a couple ideas with the clothing drive and gave us a couple organizations. We decided to contact St. Vincent De Paul Charity. Anthony called and he told us that we can go on Tuesdays or Thursdays after 1:25. I personally can’t wait to go and see how we can help.
During
On Thursday April 19th, my group went to St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store. On the way there Tom and I stopped by Burger King and grabbed a bite to eat because we knew it would be a long day at the service project. The place was located on 147th and Cicero so it wasn’t that far from Moraine Valley. I personally took 111th all the way to Cicero then to 147th st. So, when I got there the rest of my group were already there and working so I showed up 5 minutes late. We talked to the manager and signed a paper with our name and how many hours we needed to do. So, the manager told me to go in the back of the store and talk to Alonzo to see what I needed to do. At first I seperated the clothes from the bags and put them in different sections depending on the type of clothing. The sections were men: jackets, Tops, and Bottoms. The same sections for the Women but they had a extra section called Dresses. I did this for around a hour and a half. Then after that I helped put clothes out in the store. I started by putting baby clothes in the baby clothes bin which were 3 for $1. After that I put all the hats in the hat display and they were all $1. At the time I felt exhausted because I just ate at Burger King and all I wanted to do was take a nap. I felt that the time I spent in the beginning we just wasted because I don’t really know how much I helped. After that we went back to the back of the store and we started taking pictures of what we did and then we helped some more with the bags and the clothes. After that we talked to Alonzo and he told us just to tidy up the store. I went and fixed all the books made them straight. I also fixed the movies and put them in proper order as well. We joked on how we were going to put all the books in alphabetical order and there was a huge selection of books. Then a guy came up to us and asked if we worked there and we said no we are just volunteers. He walked around the book area and asked us if we saw any first editions. Then he walked away looking for other treasures in the thrift store. I heard before that some people find stuff at the thrift store that they can sell for triple of what they bought it for. After that we didn’t know what to do because we had a hour left and nothing else to do. So we decided to interview the employees. We first interviewed the person who worked at the cash register. She talked about how she loved working there because it was for a good cause and she liked her job in general. Then we talked to Alonzo in the back room and he said he liked his job because of all the new people you get to meet with different personalities. After that we just talked with the workers and we fixed so more stuff. I decided to help the organization out by buying a tool box from the store. Then after that we told them about our project and how they can come on May 1st. So we left them the proffessor card and then we were done.
After
After I thought the service wasn’t that bad we didn’t do that much hard work it was all easy for the most part. After the service I decided to look up the other things about the organization that they were talking about with the soup kitchens, food drives, etc. They offer childcare and early childhood education. They also have a homeless outreach program which serves men and women who are in need of food, clothing, and referrals for job training and employment opportunities. This is pretty much how it started “In 1915, members of the order of the Daughters of Charity opened the DePaul Day Nursery and Settlement House to care for the children of neighborhood women forced to work while their husbands served in World War I.” And this is how they want to continue the organization and how they want the future to be. “With the Daughters of Charity, St. Vincent de Paul Center’s staff is committed to being a leading provider of holistic services that strengthen and empower children and their families, seniors, and the homeless to reach their greatest potential for years to come.”
Summary
All in all I thought the organization was for a good cause and they also help people of the streets even though they don’t have any money. It wasn’t as bad as I thought when going to the organization but I thought that we didn’t really help that much because they didn’t have a lot of stuff for us to do.
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Julian Operana
For this weeks reading review journal, I read Ruptura Acknowledging the lost subject of the service learning story by Tracy Carrick, Margaret Himley, and Tobi Jacobi. This article showed the reasons why Mr. McGuire has set up service learning opportunities and why he has assigned us the latest project. This article explained on how service learning opportunities will help us in the future. By sharing our experiences and help us participate in more service opportunities. It teaches us to become humble and shows us to respect the stuff we have because someone is less fortunate then yourself. Helping in service opportunities can help someone survive because some are helping adults and children who are in starvation. In the article the author defines Ruptura which means a conflict that forces us to make a decision, to act or break away from the familiar. Mr. McGuire always explains in class why he makes us do these service learning opportunities because he wants us the do something we aren’t really used to like doing community service. I’m pretty sure I would of never do community service if I had the choice. I always thought there was no reason because I thought there was no point. You sometimes don’t know what your contributions are really doing. Though people need to do their research on the organization first because your help even though could be little can make a huge difference in the organization. I thought the article was good and taught us on why we are currently doing service learning opportunities.
Carrick Tracy, Himley Margaret, Jacobi Tobi. “Ruptura” Language and Learning Across the Discipline. Pg 298-308. http://www.splatter.writing101.net April 11, 2012. -
Julian Operana
For this weeks reading review journal, I want to talk about the Invisible Children KONY 2012 presentation that we went to on Tuesday. I felt that I learned a lot because even though everyone was talking about it when the video first came out, no one really knew what was going on. One student in our class did his speech on it but I still didn’t know all the facts. Some people were writing KONY 2012 everywhere and they didn’t even know what it stood for. I thought showing the video was a good thing. I personally didn’t watch it before because it was a 30 minute video. I learned first that Joseph Kony has been abducting children from Uganda for 26 years. I also learned that they split up on how they can spread the word with 2 groups. One being celebrities and the other being policy makers. Some celebrities include George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Oprah and many more. Some policy makers include George W. Bush, John Kerry, etc. I thought that the video explained most of it and when the girl from Uganda talked, it really showed the experience from someone who was there. She told the story on how her uncle was killed and she was the first one to see the body. Which I thought was really sad and no one should go through what she went through. I knew about April 20th before they told us because all of the facebook events but now I know what is going on where we hang posters and signs everywhere. I felt the presentation was good and very informational.
Invisble Children. (2012, March). KONY 2012. Menker Theater, Palos Hills, Illinois -
Julian Operana
For this week’s reading review journal, I read Chapter 2 of White White Rice. The title of the chapter was Risky Business Indeed Writing Outside Your Comfort Zone by Michael McGuire. It first talks about habits kids may have picked up over the years of schooling. Some include standing in line, raising your hand before speaking, trying to fit in, teachers teaching, student learning, learning that correct writing is good writing, measuring success by high grades more than by learning, and learning focused mostly on what people already know. One fact that stood out was by a time a person goes to college they have spent more than 14,000 hours in a classroom; which I found really to be too much. Another part of the chapter that was interesting was Kohn details five specific costs or effects on grade focused schooling. They are students come to regard learning as a chore, students try to avoid challenging tasks, students tend to think less deeply, students may fall apart when they fail, and students value ability more than effort. I agree with most of these statements. I think students do value ability more than effort. Some students say that they are naturally dumb when probably their just lazy. If you put in the effort then your ability to do something will grow. Just like the saying practice makes perfect. Some students to fall apart when they fail. When they fail they think in their mind there is nothing they can do right but you must fail first in order to succeed.
McGuire, Michael “Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing”. Kendall Hunt. 2010. 25-33. -
Julian Operana
For this week’s reading review journal, I read Cycle of Socialization by Bobbie Harro. It first starts off by saying that we are all recognized in many ways. The many ways that we are recognized are gender, ethnicity, skin color, first language, age, ability status, religion, sexual orientation, and economic class. Our socialization begins when we are born and we have no choice on our part. It also talks about how we are all born in a world where all of the mechanics, assumptions, rules, roles, and structure of oppression are already in place. I think we are all judged on many things but that does not change who you are and your personality. First socialization was about being taught by parents, teachers, etc. This is true because this is how we learn at first. We look for role models to follow and learn from. Next is being taught by the cultural socialization. We all have a certain influence in life that make us do the things we do. For example, if you were raised in a certain religious field then you will most likely follow the ways that they teach. Another example is what people watch on television. Television now a days have a lot of affect on a child and even an adult. They want to wear the same stuff as the favorite celebrity or act the same way. The core for this cycle of socialization is fear, ignorance, confusion, and insecurity. I think this is all true.
Harro, Bobby. “The Cycle Of Socialization” p. 15-21. 2012. splatter.writting101.net web 21 march 2012 -
Julian Operana
On February 7th I went to Feed My…
On February 7th, I went to Feed My Starving Children in Aurora, IL. They are a christian based organization that help feed starving children around the world but specifically in Africa. There sole mission for this organization is to feed God’s starving children hungry in body and in spirit. They have a vision to eliminate starvation around the world and respond to those in need. They all believe in Christian principles. (FMSC) They also explain on their website how much of their donations go to the food. The stats are 93% of total donation goes directly to the food program and 7% goes to fund raising. Administration, and overhead combined. (FMSC) They also have good facts about their organization like it cost 22 cents for them to produce one meal. Which isn’t a lot considering the amount of money we spend on meals a day. They also tell you that all the food goes to the recipients and they do not sell them. This is how they determine where they send their food. “We receive food aid applications daily. The distribution committee meets and reviews each application, evaluating them in several different categories, including physical condition of the children, percentage of children vs. adults served, other food available, the type of feeding program and the ability to receive and store the food safely. At the end of the discussion, the committee prays for God’s guidance and then rates each application. Food is allocated based on the rating each application receives.” (FMSC) They send to a lot of countries. Some countries are Haiti, Sudan, Jamaica, Ghana, and a lot more. Our group packed food for starving children in Haiti. A Minnesota businessman started this organization and was started in 1987. Their first shipment of food was in 1991 to Honduras. (FMSC) One point that they want to spread is that you do not have to be Christian to pack. They explain that their food is given to all starving children around the world, they do not have to be Christian to receive it. They can be any faith they want to receive their food. (FMSC)
I didn’t know what the organization was all about when I signed for it and to be honest I really didn’t want to go to do some community service that my college professor assigned to my class. I first signed up for this service opportunity because it was the first one available and I just wanted to get it over with. My mind change after what I learned and did at the Feed My Starving Children. I was trying to get at least one of my friends or cousins to come with me to the service opportunity but no one really wanted to do community service for nothing. Before I went I saw the video that was on splatter and it showed what I was spending my time on. The place was in Aurora so it wasn’t close to my house or the school; it was around 30 minutes away. When I first arrived I went to the wrong building at first because the Feed My Starving Children building is in the back. I went inside the building where I saw someone who worked there. They greeted me nicely and led me to all the other people who volunteered. I signed in on a paper with our group and then sat down in the room where I was given a hairnet. A person who worked there came in and told us all these statistics about the organization. He showed us a video about all the starving children around the world. He then talks about the Feed My Starving Children in particular. Then he told us about this little boy which I don’t really remember his name but he told us that the little boy was starving. He showed us pictures of the little boy before receiving food then after 6 months they show the little more healthy and happy. When they first showed the picture I felt so bad about the little boy’s situation then they showed the picture with the food after 6 months. I honestly didn’t know that one cup a day can feed a child and make him healthy. It is amazing to see that it only takes one cup a day for starving children to survive when for us it takes a lot more to be satisfied. Just that thought alone is amazing because some people like myself are so graceful that we get a meal everyday. They also explain why each ingredient is important. The rice because it is widely accepted grain in the world. Soy because it gives you the most protein and its low cost. They add vegetables because it gives you the vitamins and proper nutrients you need. The chicken to also give you vitamins and the proper nutrients you need. We then go to the room where all the packaging will be done. It goes chicken, vegetables, soy, and rice. In that order is how we put all the ingredients inside a bag. We were put into groups and tried to compete with each other to make the most meals. Their were five jobs each station. One would put the chicken and vegetables, another would put the soy and rice. Two people would hold the bag under this funnel of some sort, to collect and weight the food. I don’t remember the exact weight but it had to be within a weight. Then they would give it to someone else who would seal it and box it. Each box would fit around 36 bags of food. I think our whole group made around 52 boxes in total. Each bag can feed about 6 children. Another job was the people who carried the boxes out and those who refilled the ingredients. After we packed all the food we went into the storage room and prayed for the food. They have a 99% success rate of the food getting to their destination. They think its because they pray for the food before they ship it. I think that Christian faith is strong with this organization. Being a fellow Christian I thought this organization was great and it showed how strong their love for God was. Feed My Starving Children changed my perspective on wasting food. They told us a statistic that was out of line and it is that Americans waste so much food a day that it can fill a arena to the top. The stadium was the Rose bowl and it is one of the biggest stadiums in America. I thought the experience was great and taught me a lot. At the end they asked if we can donate to help them but I couldn’t donate because I didn’t have money at the time. I wish I can donate in the future. Feed my starving children is a organization that I think more people should hear about this organization because it isn’t well known around the world. Most people know about Make A Wish Foundation but most people do not know about feed my starving children. I think its because it is not officially linked to another organization. I think if they did more advertisements about their organization they would get more people to volunteer. I think people don’t volunteer because most people don’t know what it is about. I think this is one of the best organizations out there
FMSC. “Who We Are.” Feed My Starving Children. Web. 18 Mar. 2012. http://www.fmsc.org
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Jonte Spane
I believe this was a well typed paper and had great grammar usage. “They are a Christian based organization that helps feed starving children around the world but specifically in Africa. There sole mission for this organization is to feed God’s starving children hungry in body and in spirit. They have a vision to eliminate starvation around the world and respond to those in need. They all believe in Christian principles.” This quote was very intriguing to me and heartfelt to know this organization believes in God. I too believe in God and agree that it is our mission as Christians to try and feed those children that are hungry in body and in spirit. “Feed My Starving Children is an organization that I think more people should hear about this organization because it isn’t well known around the world.” I agree with this quote because it is not a very widespread organization through out the world. Helping others has always been a good deed and when a person is giving and doesn’t tear others down they are looked at as being a Good Samaritan. Being a good Samaritan calls for people to look out for others in the time of need. Having someone to be there for a person in the time of need is hard to find because some people in this present day are so much of backstabbers. “I didn’t know what the organization was all about when I signed up for it and to be honest I really didn’t want to go to do some community service that my college professor assigned to my class.” I agree with this statement but I knew it was a requirement and I also thought of what would happen if one of those children were not fed in time to keep living. Thinking of the service that way made me want to be a more frequent member of the organization. Society has become so selfish to the point were many people probably haven’t even heard of the feed your children organization. It is a great cause to be apart of this organization whether it be frequent or intermittent. Being a frequent member of the organization means to be more involved in the feed my starving children organization. An intermittent member of the organization is a person who gives when they can or choose to but not as much as others. I believe I am an intermittent member because of work and school. “The place was in Aurora so it wasn’t close to my house or the school; it was around 30 minutes away.” This too was another factor in my intermittent member reasoning. I also live pretty far from Aurora and it would create a major problem in my schedule to be a frequent member of the feed my starving children organization. Overall, your paper was well put together and gave many first-hand beliefs on completing a community service even though you haven’t really done any really frequent community service.
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Katie Didier
Well to start off I think your piece would really be benefitted by a catchy title. I’m sure that you plan to make one and I’m sorry to state the obvious.
I really like how much information you provided in the beginning of your essay. It gave the essay a very credible feel even though it is a reflection paper. It set the tone for the paper and I thought it was a really nice touch. I was impressed by your use of sources. It made me feel like you went the extra mile to inform your reader about the organization and where you volunteered at. It made me feel like you cared more about the organization and that you wanted people to be aware of it and the details surrounding it. I didn’t participate in this particular event and I know that I really benefited from all the detail and extra work you put into your paper.
Your paper had a really good style and flow however, there were a few minor grammatical errors that made a few placed difficult to read. This however, was not very frequent and wasn’t much of an issue.
I appreciate the honestly in your skepticism in your second paragraph. I feel like it gains more merit as a reflection paper because you added critiques or negative aspects along the way. If you were to add only the positives I would feel that your paper is too “sugar-coated” or that you were “sucking-up”.
From your description the place where you volunteered was very organized and well-put together. They seemed to have a set way of doing things. I volunteered at the Share Your Soles Organization. The organization itself is great and so is the staff. However, the whole process was very unorganized and I felt like we could have gotten a lot more done with the amount of people that showed up willing to help. However, in the end we made a difference and helped many people and that is what really matters.
I think you did a really excellent job with the details. You used so many details I feel like I was there. To me, that is a sign of a great writer. The amount of details also makes you seem really passionate about your service event and I get the feeling that you really enjoyed helping and that you were moved or inspired by your work.
You used so many details but you left out how the actual event or experience changed you. You did mention how everything made you feel but I feel like you could have added your opinion a little bit more. Maybe say whether or not you like how the organization was run. Maybe comment on a few things that you liked or a few things that you would change. Also would you like to continue working with the service organization. In not, would you like to volunteer somewhere else because you were inspired by this event. And maybe if you did like this event say if you plan on volunteering once a month or even once a week. -
John Dougherty
Julian, your paper was very well written and informative. Before I read your paper, I had little knowledge on the Feed My Starving Children foundation. After reading it, I feel very informed and I now know what the foundation is all about. In the beginning of your paper, you gave plenty of information on the event and background of who they are. You used your sources very well. It makes you seem like you know a lot about the FMSC. Obviously, you care about this organization and by putting forth the extra effort to give details about the organization; you want to make people aware of the volunteer work they offer. The facts and information in the first paragraph really helps me understand what these people are all about. For a person who didn’t attend this event these details can be very effective. In your second paragraph you mention that you didn’t want to do some community service event and you signed up just to get it over with. I found myself with the same problem. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I surely didn’t want to something like this. But like you said, after it was over, you had a completely different view on it. I too felt as if I was glad I did it because it made me realize that helping others is such a great thing to do. You did a very good job of giving all of the details on how the day went. You laid it all out there and said exactly what you thought about it. I think that is very effective in a reflection paper because it makes it more real. It is hard to read a paper when all people do is making it seem like a flawless experience. Don’t get me wrong though, the work they do there and the volunteerism is great. The way you describe the way they work makes the place seem very organized. This is a very good thing for a place trying to get a lot done in such a short period of time. By what you and your group put together, you did get a ton of work done and you are feeding so many children. Just knowing that would make me very proud of myself and make me feel like a better person. It is interesting that you prayed for the food before it was shipped. That shows a strong Christian faith and it is important to have a hope of success due to that. I like your idea of getting the Feed My Starving Children organization more advertised and widespread. I agree when you say that’s why people have a hard time volunteering, because people don’t know much about it. Overall, I think your paper was very good. You had very little grammar errors, if any. I think that if you gave a little more explanation on how this event made you feel, or how it changed your view on volunteering it would help your paper. It would definitely make others more aware and likely to do something like you did. Good reflection.
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Julian Operana
For this week’s reading review journal I read Chapter 7 of White White Rice. The chapter talks about plagiarism and the rules about them. The title of the chapter was Mash It Up…Gracefully. The first section was about giving credit but take ownership. It just talks about learning the topic and write about it but know where it came from. The next section was about different reasons for citing sources. It teaches you how to successfully cite something after each sentence. You much communicate information to the reader. Even if you think it might not be cited but your not sure, its best to cite it. You should back up the things you think you know. You should make a ongoing conversation with other sources. Basically you should give a response to another author. The next section was about the grace of using sources. The main point of this section is to not steal ideas from other people. Don’t use something that isn’t yours because it is kinda like cheating. I sometimes have problems with that because sometimes I do not know what to cite and how to cite it. Sometimes I cite stuff that does not need to be cited. It all is hard to know if you wrote something to close to what it says in the article or something. That is why I cite everything just in case. I do not think they take off points if you cite something that does not need to be cited. So, its better safe then sorry because one plagiarism mistake could cost you a lot of time.
Troy Swanson, “Why White Rice? thinking through writting” Chapter 7 “Mash it up…gracefully using sources”pgs163-174. Kendall Hunt. Print. -
Julian Operana
Dear Editor,
I recently read your article on how Syracuse allowed players to still play after failing a drug test. I cannot believe since 2001 they have been doing this with about 10 people testing positive for drugs. I wonder why the NCAA didn’t find out about it earlier. Syracuse has been a top school for recruiting high school basketball players over the years and I wonder if they get a bad rep from this will high school basketball players still come to this school. For example, Penn State after all there accusations and mishaps they lost top recruits that were going to their school. Hopefully that doesn’t happen to Syracuse. They are one of the top schools this year also, ranking 2nd in the NCAA. Hopefully none of their current players have tested for drugs because that would also lead to some suspensions. I would like for you to talk about the future consequences more then what was accused of the staff on Syracuse. I also thought it didn’t seem right when head coach Jim Boeheim said that he didn’t know anything about it and also followed it up with “I would not comment on anything like that. Good Luck with your story.” It just seemed a little fishy and I thought you would write more about his comments but you didn’t. I did like how you followed it up by talking about the past of other schools who have had the same problem. I still don’t know why they just don’t follow the rules for to save less consequences later.
Sincerely,
Julian Operana
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Katie Didier
Peer Review
I appreciate that your letter got right to the point. It was very direct and I feel that the editor would appreciate that and so would many of the readers if you get published. I feel like today many artcles are merely skimmed over and not actually read but I don’t think that will happen if your letter gets published because it starts off so bluntly.
While I appreciate your direct approach I feel a little left in the dark. I do not know anything about your topic and it was hard to keep up without background knowledge. If you added what “Syracuse” is exactly then your reader may be able to catch up a little quicker.
I think that this is a very interesting topic that many people may not know about. I certainly was not aware of this issue and id this letter gets published I feel that many people will appreciate a new issue brought to light. I also think that it was a great idea to use a specific school. Broad issues can connect to almost everyone at some point or another but the fact that you chose a specific school opens up the door for a much deeper connection and interest for fewer people but at a much deeper level .
I feel like if you get exact facts in your paper then your paper will become much more influential and persuasive. When you use words like “about” it makes it seem like you are guessing and that you do not know what you are talking about. The last thing you want in a short persuasive paper is to plant a seed of doubt of competency.
There were a few minor things regarding your grammar and your punctuation that I might consider changing. One example in particular is that you change from using spelled out numbers like “one” then switch to the number way like “2nd”. I think that if you are writing something to get published it should be free of all little mechanical errors to give it the best chance to get published.
I like that you talked about the Penn State example. It made you seem informed and like you had a good knowledge base on what you are talking about. The only thing that I believe would push it over the edge is a solid statistic that will give a little more confidence to your paper and the reader when they are reading it.
The sentence “I thought you would write more about his comments but you didn’t.” seems very unprofessional and a little bitter. Maybe you could steer more toward a call to action. Instead of wishing something was done earlier you could implement a call to action and ask that something be done now. I also think that you should ask something specific that someone reading the letter might contribute. For example, if I was really interested in this issue I don’t know that I would have anywhere to focus my energy on helping your cause.
But overall great work : ) -
Jonte Spane
“I recently read your article on how Syracuse allowed players to still play after failing a drug test. I cannot believe since 2001 they have been doing this with about 10 people testing positive for drugs. I wonder why the NCAA didn’t find out about it earlier. Syracuse has been a top school for recruiting high school basketball players over the years and I wonder if they get a bad rep from this will high school basketball players still come to this school.” This part of the letter showed me the most uneducated way for any school to conduct their rules of play for student-athletes. The thought of being apart of a team that only has ten players to pass a drug test is sad. These athletes at Syracuse are basically getting away with murder because there has been many professional athletes that were convicted of drug use and revoked of their contracts. To have knowledge about a team that can not pass a drug test is very devastating because the credentials that Syracuse team has had is too well to have found this out. Many people would think the reason there credentials are so well is because of their use of drugs. An athlete that uses drugs is not only cheating themselves but cheating their school, fans, family, and whom ever else might have look forward to their success. When there is a drug test administered to a certain school for sports and everyone that does not pass it is not suspended or expelled from the team or school then the schools officials are basically allowing their student-athletes to be under the influence. If these school officials allowing student-athletes to be under the influence then they should be subjected to loss of their jobs. A school that allows their athletes to basically use drugs at their discretion and have proof they are doing so then they are also basically making it ok for students that are not athletes to do the same as the athletes that do not pass the drug tests. It is so hard to maintain a team with players under the influence because the coach of these players can never know if their players are giving their all to the team. Athletes should want to have a natural body free of drugs if they plan on getting in the professional sport. Being a professional is not easy and if they think cheating their bodies to get there faster is the answer then they are in for a world of trouble. Athletes that are users will have more health risk and the school officials will then again be at risk because the student- athletes will be looked at as too much of a chance to take. If the players school officials want to take that chance then they better make sure they are a hundred percent for sure they are ready to accept their mistakes and live with them. Living with this mistake is complicated because they will always remember they basically allowed themselves to coach a team that is under the influence.
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Julian Operana
For this weeks reading review journal I read chapter 4 of Why White Rice You can do it in the garden or in an elevator. The first section was that writing is thinking. It just explains Rodin’s the thinker. It says that there are different kinds of thinking. Writing and critical thinking are synonymous. Critical thinking is a conscious attempt on your part to understand and make deeper connections to your world. Writing about things can help you better understand them. The main part of the first section is that thinking comes in many ways and even though most people don’t realize it. The next section was writing about thesis. There are different ways of writing thesis you can be wrong but you can also be right. You should ask your teacher how he or she’d like to see your thesis to appear. Don’t over think writing your these over and over again. You are supposed to keep the page requirements in mind, but don’t let them freak you out. Instead focus on expanding your ideas with details and examples. You are also supposed to write to communicate an idea. Revision isn’t proofreading or editing it just takes time. Sometimes it takes a lot of time. Try out new words and ideas, but don’t go so far as to leave yourself looking ridiculous. Revision is one of the hardest things to do for a paper. You might not know what to write about but it will help you review your paper and show what is wrong with your paper.
Devillez, Eric.”You Can Do It in the Garden or in an Elevator” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 77. Print -
Julian Operana
For this weeks reading review journal I read chapter 5 of Why White Rice. The title of the chapter is dry your hair and don’t lick the frozen flag pole by Troy Swanson. At first he talks about living in Chicago and the extreme climate changes that we have to deal with. He talks about a lesson that all kids who grew up in Chicago should know and that is do not go outside with your hair wet. The first section was the power of information where he talks about getting information from other people. People get their information for newspapers, internet, and nightly news from other people. Then he talks about in 5.5 about his experience as a kid. He was in seventh grade and stayed at his best friend’s house. He told his best friend about him liking this girl in class and for his best friend not to tell anyone. He told the next Monday and was betrayed. He just explains that people can lie to us and betray our trust. He also says that we can’t trust everyone and some people lie, cheat, and steal. Reading this chapter actually helped me because of using the most popular sites in the world correctly. I use Google for pretty much everything and he explains how Google works. The site who pay the most money are listed first and also the site with the most clicks is listed first. Google is the most popular web search engine out there.
Citation -
Julian Operana
Elevator Speech Outline
War on Religion Outline
- Religion has caused the most wars out of any other conflict.
- War in Iraq
- Philippines Christians and Muslims (south)
- War in Afghanistan
- Christians and Atheist
- Famous People who are religious
- Race doesn’t usually determine religion.
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Julian Operana
War On Religion
War on Religion.
The society wonders why there are so many religions and is there actually one true religion. There are many religions in the world such as Christianity, Anglican, Catholic, Evangelical, Jehovah’s Witness, Latter-Day Saints, Orthodox, Pentecostal, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism, Baha’i, Zoroastrianism, nonreligious such as Atheist, and many more. Even if there are all different types of religions, explaining the most popular religions will be the most intriguing.
Background Research: Christianity is the most popular religion with more then 2 billion people around the world practicing that faith. (Slick) Mainly Christians believe in Jesus Christ and his teachings. Christians believe that Jesus is God’s own son, sent by God to become human. They also believe that Jesus is divine and is also human who live on this earth. (Slick) Christianity teaches that there is only one God in all existence, that God made the Universe, the Earth, and created Adam and Eve. (Slick) Many Christians believe that God created humans through his own image. Christians believe that God created Adam and Eve. Christianity also teaches that God is the Trinity. The Trinity consist of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, not three Gods. Christians also believed Jesus died on the cross for our sins and on the third day he rose from the dead physically. (Slick)They also believe that through faith you will be saved. Christianity is the only religion that teaches salvation by grace. (Slick) Christianity also teaches that once a person becomes saved that the holy spirit lives in that person and that person if forever changed. Christianity is basically your relationship with Jesus the lord and savior. (Slick)
Jehovah’s Witness are a little different then Christians but they do believe in similar things. The main reason is that both Jehovah’s Witness and Christians believe in that the Bible is God’s Word and Truth. (Towerwatch Ministries) Jehovah’s Witness believe that God’s real name is Jehovah. (Towerwatch Ministries)They also think that Christ not Adam and Eve were God’s first creations. (Towerwatch Ministries) They do believe in Christ dieing for our sins but they believe that he died on a stake not a cross. While Jehovah’s Witness believe that there is only one road to life; Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to life. Another difference is that Jehovah’s Witness thinks that the greatest name is Jehovah while the Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the greatest name. (Towerwatch Ministries) One of the main things that a Jehovah’s Witness follower does is that they don’t celebrate birthdays and holidays. (Towerwatch Ministries)They also just worship Jehovah while Christians worships the Trinity which consist of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (Towerwatch Ministries)
Islam is the second largest religion in the world with a little over 1 billion followers. Is is a monotheistic faith founded by man name Muhammad in the 7th Century Saudi Arabia. (Hakim)Muslims are the people who believe and follow Islam. (Hakim) According to Muslim belief, a angel sent a message to the Prophet Muhammad from the one true god. (Hakim)The prophet Muhammad dedicated the rest of his life to spreading the message of monotheism in a polytheistic world. (Hakim) The word Islam means submission, reflecting the religion’s central tenet of submitting to the will of God. The middle east and north Africa are the main places where Islam is practiced. (Hakim) Also, there place of worship is not called a church but called a mosque. (Hakim) They also live by Five Pillars of Islam which is five religious duties expected of every Muslim. (Hakim) The Five Pillars of Islam consist of daily confession of faith, daily ritual prayer, paying the alms tax, fasting during the month of Ramadan, and pilgrimage to Mecca. (Hakim)
Hinduism is the oldest religion with about 900 million followers. (Kinnard) It is the third largest religion behind Christianity and Islam. (Kinnard) In India about 80% of people who live there regard themselves as Hindus.(Kinnard) Around 30 million who practice Hinduism live outside of India. Hinduism originally came from the Persian word Hindu which means river. Hindus look at there religion as a eternal religion.(Kinnard) Hinduism unlike Islam does not have a founder or a date of origin. The author and dates of most Hindu sacred text are unknown.(Kinnard) Hinduism is not a very organized religion system. Most of the Hindus today are devoted followers of Shiva or Vishnu.(Kinnard) They believe that Shiva or Vishnu is there one true god.(Kinnard) By the 20th century, Hinduism became more popular in the Western part of the world.(Kinnard) Hindus place of worship is a temple or some even have their own home shrine.(Kinnard) They believe that the human nature is a bondage to ignorance and illusion. (Kinnard) Hindus purpose of life is to attain liberation from the cycle of reincarnation. They also live their life by following the dharma. (Kinnard) They also have different holidays such as Mahashivarati, Holi, Ramnavami, Dusserah, and Diwali. (Kinnard)
Buddhism was originally found in India 2500 years ago. (Henderson)Buddhism is the most popular religion in the Far East. Also, it is increasing follower in the West. (Henderson) One of the main things that Buddhist believe in is that the world was created and ruled by god. (Henderson) However, even thought the Buddhist do not believe in god they are not considered atheist. (Henderson) They believe that Buddha is their only master. Buddhist also believe in the composite of five aggregates, which are physical forms, feelings or sensations, ideations, mental formations or dispositions, and consciousness. (Henderson) Their purpose of life is to follow the four noble truths. (Henderson) One of the four noble truths is All of life is marked by suffering. (Henderson) The next one is suffering is caused by desire and attachment. Another one is that suffering can not be stopped. (Henderson) The last of the four noble truths is the way to end suffering is to follow the noble eightfold path. (Henderson) The noble eightfold path is to have right knowledge, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. (Henderson)
Judaism is one of the oldest religions in history. Judaism is still existing and very well known around the world. (Vogel) It began as a small nation of the Hebrews. (Vogel) Today there are around 14 million people in the world who consider themselves Jewish. (Vogel) Even though all the suffering they had to go through in history Jewish is still one of the most looked upon religion. (Vogel) Their main belief is that there is only one God. (Vogel) Modern day Judaism is very complex phenomenon that incorporates both a nation and a religion, and often combines strict adherence to ritual laws with a more liberal attitude towards religious belief. (Vogel) Jewish people believe that they are the chosen people and when God comes back to earth they will be brought up to heaven while everyone else is forever forgotten. (Vogel) Beginning with Abraham, God has always taken care of the Hebrews who later became Jews. (Vogel) One of their main traditions is a Bar Mitzvah. At the age of 13 boys become a Bar Mitzvah or also known as Son of the Commandant and at the age of 12 girls become a Bat Mitzvah. Their main purpose in life is obedience to God. (Vogel)
What’s Being Done: Now that you know about the most popular religions in the world, the main question is if there is one true religion. If there was one true religion would everyone switch their beliefs? People ask because religion alone has caused so many wars. One fact that is very interesting is that religion has cause more human wars than any other manmade cause. So, why do people war about what each person believes in. It is your own opinion and what you truly believe in. If there is one true religion it is the one that teaches you about God. In every religion they believe in a higher power but in reality they might all be praising the same God. God is not a object that has been researched in a lab. So, if God really exist, he exist in some hidden state or form. Most religions believe that there is a God but, different religions see God differently. There is one thing that all religions have in common, they cannot see God. This is why religion is so complicated and there is no reason why wars should be started over it. People may have differently believing but in general people may believing in the same God. Just different stories and perspectives are taken with each religion. “True religion is not about possessing the truth; no religion does that. It is rather an invitation into a journey that leads one toward the mystery of God. Idolatry is religion pretending that it has all the answers.” (Wilber)
Religion is about the Ultimate Reality. “The only way to reconcile those two items is to recognize that, at the very least, religion contains two very different aspects. One clearly divides humans; the other might be able to unite them. Peace on earth, good will toward men obviously rests upon differentiating those two aspects and placing each of them in a larger context. Exactly how to do so is one of the goals of the integral approach. But one thing is certain and historically undeniable: if we cannot do so, religion will continue to be the death of humans until humans have the death of God.” (Wilber) To sum it all up there is no one true religion but many believe that there is one true God that everyone believes in. So, wars should not be created over religion.How you can help?
Just believe in your own religion and not start wars over it.Citation
Slick, Matt. “What is Christianity?.” (2011): n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://carm.org/what-is-christianity.
Townwatch Ministries “Highlights of Jehovah’s Witness Belief.” . n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://www.towerwatch.com/Witnesses/Beliefs/their_beliefs.htm.
Wilber, Ken. “Why do religions teach love yet cause so much war?.” beliefnet. n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://www.beliefnet.com/Wellness/2004/06/Why-Do- Religions-Teach-Love-And-Yet-Cause-So-Much-War.aspx?p=1.
Hakim, Semya. “What is Islam?.” rethinking schools. n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://www.rethinkingschools.org/static/special_reports/sept11/pdf/Islam.pdf.
Henderson, Charles. “What is Buddhism? Religion without God.” GodWeb. N.p., 2007. Web. 20 Feb 2012. http://www.godweb.org/whatisbuddhism.htm.
Kinnard, Jacob. “Hinduism.” Patheos. N.p., 2008. Web. 20 Feb 2012. http://www.patheos.com/Library/Hinduism.html.Bibliography
Slick, Matt. “What is Christianity?.” (2011): n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://carm.org/what-is-christianity.
This helped me out a lot to learn about my own faith. It also helped me write about the things I didn’t really know from going to church. It just gave a really good background on Christianity and what most people proclaim what they are. I also watched the video that was presented with the article. It was a very intriguing video that showed what Christians believed in. At some parts of the article the author refers back to the bible with some of his quotes and how he shows it can help us with being a Christian. Matt Slick also talks about the way we should live as a Christian and what we should follow to live a Godly life.
Townwatch Ministries “Highlights of Jehovah’s Witness Belief.” . n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://www.towerwatch.com/Witnesses/Beliefs/their_beliefs.htm.
This article helped me out a lot because I didn’t really know about the religion until I fully read this article. They are somewhat similar to Christians they just don’t have the same practices and same way of life. Jehovah’s Witness do not believe in holidays such as Christmas, Easter, etc. They believe that everyday should be devoted to God and the word he brings upon us. One thing that I found shocking is that Jehovah’s Witness don’t believe in medicine and that God will save them from sickness and pain. So, they can’t have blood transfusions for themselves or their children. Many Jehovah’s Witness have died because of this religious law that they have to follow. I think Christians and Jehovah’s Witness are alike in their believing of God but they do not live the same way of life.
Wilber, Ken. “Why do religions teach love yet cause so much war?.” beliefnet. n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://www.beliefnet.com/Wellness/2004/06/Why-Do- Religions-Teach-Love-And-Yet-Cause-So-Much-War.aspx?p=1.
This article really made me think because all of it is true. If religion does teach us to love one another why does it cause so many wars. Some main points is that religion has caused the most wars out of any other conflict. Why can’t every religion group just get along and follow in what they believe in. Religion should teach us about happiness and self control; not fighting and losing patience. This article helped me write a good chunk of my paper because it showed me the real conflict on religion.
Hakim, Semya. “What is Islam?.” rethinking schools. n. page. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. http://www.rethinkingschools.org/static/special_reports/sept11/pdf/Islam.pdf.
This article I felt was the best article for my paper on a certain religion. In went so in depth with the topic stating back to September 11, 2011 with the terrorist attacks. Where it brought false beliefs and stereotypes against Islam. This religion has the most hate for it now because of all the terrorist attacks but most people don’t know what true Islam is. The author goes in depth about how stereotypes against Muslims are going overboard where many people think the people is full of suicide bombers. Some don’t think they believe in Jesus when in actuality they do. They don’t believe that Jesus was the son of God but as a prophet. Muslim people pray directly to God so they don’t have religious leaders like Christians do. (Christians have priest, bishops, pope, etc.) The author also suggest to teach more about different religions so not everyone will get a wrong idea of Muslims. Some think that Muslims have treated women badly when in reality Muslims have treated their women with the most respect than any other religion or country. They were given the right to vote 1400 years ago while America gave women right to vote in the 1920s. To sum this up, this was one of the best articles for my paper because it gave me so much information on my paper.Henderson, Charles. “What is Buddhism? Religion without God.” GodWeb. N.p., 2007. Web. 20 Feb 2012. http://www.godweb.org/whatisbuddhism.htm.
This was a very short article but still gave me a lot of information. One thing that stood out to me is that Buddhist people are very calm and they do not have much anger towards anything. There are a lot of differences between Christians and Buddhist but both are very popular religions in Asian countries. This article helped me out in explaining Buddhism in my essay.Kinnard, Jacob. “Hinduism.” Patheos. N.p., 2008. Web. 20 Feb 2012. http://www.patheos.com/Library/Hinduism.html.
This was a detailed article about Hinduism. They explained every little thing about the Hindus and their religion. One fact that stood out to me was definitely that Hinduism does not have a founder or date of origin. Rather, it has been traditionally viewed as a timeless tradition that has been and continues to be revealed to humans at the start of each world cycle. While other religions do have a founder and a date when first founded. This article helped me with the Hinduism part of my research paper.-
Katie Didier
To start off with, I am very intrigued by your topic. It seemed like a unique choice to pick for this assignment and I was excited to read about it.
I liked your introduction, you could tell that you knew a lot but needed to limit the discussion to better prove your point. However, I am a little caught up in the wording of the first sentient…. When you say “the society” it makes it sound like you are referring to a specific society instead of society as a whole. And if you are referring to a specific society I am a little confused as to which one. Maybe consider rewording or even just taking out the “the”.
You gave a lot of information in your first paragraph and it was very clear and insightful. It was to the point but it did leave me wanting a little flow and continuity. Your sentences were a little short. I would consider joining a few of them together to improve the flow.
Overall I think you did a really great job with your citations. All of the information seemed to be correctly cited. However, I did see one fact that wasn’t cited that I saw; it was the one concerning religion causing more wars than any other man made cause.
I feel like you did a great, detailed job explaining the different types of religions. You also took the time to compare a few of them which was insightful however, I think you should add a little more information about the wars that religion causes. You keep saying that they cause so many wars but you never go on to tell the reader about it. The reader is just going on faith that these wars are happening. I think your paper would be more persuasive if you actually made the reader feel the depression and sadness that these religious wars actually cause. If you can talk about the wars and the people they affect, I believe the reader will be much more easily swayed to help your cause.
I like the quote by Wilber toward the end of your paper however I wish you would have talked about it after and related it a little more to your paper.
I also think that you should have more of a call to action. I could tell that you were passionate about your topic but after reading it I have no idea how to help your cause. You did give cites to go to for the annotated bibliography but I wished you would have talked about it more in the preceding section.
I also thought your paper would be a bit more cohesive if you had a more pronounced conclusion. I felt like your paper just kind of dropped off at the end.
There were a few very minor grammatical errors and words where I think spell check may have changed it from the word you wanted originally which made it a little confusing at parts. But over, it was a really good paper and it has solid information.
Good job. -
Jonte Spane
I am very glad I had a chance to comment on this topic because it is a topic that I believe everyone should stress greatly. The way you gave all of the background information about the different denominations I believe was very well though of. “The society wonders why there are so many religions and is there actually one true religion. There are many religions in the world such as Christianity, Anglican, Catholic, Evangelical, Jehovah’s Witness, Latter-Day Saints, Orthodox, Pentecostal, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism, Baha’i, Zoroastrianism, nonreligious such as Atheist, and many more. Even if there are all different types of religions, explaining the most popular religions will be the most intriguing.
Background Research: Christianity is the most popular religion with more then 2 billion people around the world practicing that faith. (Slick) Mainly Christians believe in Jesus Christ and his teachings. Christians believe that Jesus is God’s own son, sent by God to become human. They also believe that Jesus is divine and is also human who live on this earth. (Slick) Christianity teaches that there is only one God in all existence, that God made the Universe, the Earth, and created Adam and Eve. (Slick) Many Christians believe that God created humans through his own image. Christians believe that God created Adam and Eve. Christianity also teaches that God is the Trinity. The Trinity consists of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, not three Gods. Christians also believed Jesus died on the cross for our sins and on the third day he rose from the dead physically. (Slick)They also believe that through faith you will be saved. Christianity is the only religion that teaches salvation by grace. (Slick) Christianity also teaches that once a person becomes saved that the Holy Spirit lives in that person and that person if forever changed. Christianity is basically your relationship with Jesus the lord and savior.” I chose to quote the whole first paragraph because this paragraph alone stood out to me greatly and told me how you felt about the topic. It shows me how out of all the religions for a person to practice, not everyone knows which religion we as Christians are entitled to follow. We as humans naturally follow the same practice as our parents or guardians because that is the way we are taught is right. Doing right by our elders is something many people take for granted and don’t realize that repercussion for not obeying them. Some people have to learn the hard way in knowing which religion God wants us to follow. If I had the chance to grade your paper I would give it an A+ because from the first paragraph and on I was really caught in the moment while reading your paper.
In conclusion, great job on your paper and good luck with your next assignments because I believe you are a great writer and know how to really express your chain of thoughts about a topic you deem to be of very great importance.
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Julian Operana
For this weeks reading review journal I read chapter 1 of Why White Rice. I thought it was a good start to the book teaching us how to become a confident writer. I like the story about the author desk, where it is very disorganized but still knows where everything is. It just shows that he is organized but in his own way by writing sheets of notes. I will start by talking about myth 1.1 I’m not a writer. It is basically talking about if you write about something then you are generally a writer. You just have to practice on it just like everything else. It also talks about not to base your essay on five paragraphs. Mainly because you cannot fit all you information that you want to write down in a five paragraph essay. It also says not to count your paragraphs because you want to split them in different ideas. Another tip is that you should let other people read your work because it helps more than you think. It also helps to not use phrases like “I think” or “I feel” because there are weak statements. I also liked the picture of the father balancing the son on his hand. Some of my family members do that too but some get nervous when they do it. One of the main points I got out of chapter 1 was never say that you are a terrible writer because you will have a negative attitude which will result in bad essays.
DeVilez, Eric. “Myth Busting”. Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub 2010. 1-24. Print -
Julian Operana
The article I read for the reading journal entry was Village Voice by Hessler. The story was about Rajeev Goyal and what he did for the peace corps. My first impressions was that Rajeev Goyal never gave up after all the ups and downs that he went through. This shows you that you should never give up no matter what the circumstances are. He helps the village of Namje, and he developed a way for them to get their resources more efficiently. Rajeev Goyal served for the peace corps for 3 years. He served from 2001 to 2003 and sometimes people weep when his name is mentioned. Its shows that he was committed to the program and many people loved him for what he did. After 3 years in the peace corps, he eventually went to Law School. It was interesting that he went to the Peace Corps while he was in the middle of his education. His parents didn’t wanted him to go but, he went anyways to follow in what he believed. This really makes you think that one person can actually make a difference. He tried as hard as he can to succeed. I really didn’t know before that John F. Kennedy helped start the Peace Corps. It said in the article that most people assume that the Peace Corps came out of a grand idea. A statistic that stood out to me was that without the Peace Corps, roughly a sixth of Ghanaian would have been shut down for the lack of teacher they have over there. This article definitely makes you think about your life and how little things can help the world.
Hessler, Peter. “A Reporter at Large The Village Voice The Corps’s Brightest Hope.” New York: The New York, 2010. 101-109. Splatter: The Messy Art of Writing, Web. 8 Feb. 2012 -
Julian Operana
Who Should Survive?
The choices I made were really hard because each person had a reason to live and a reason to die. My first choice was Dr. Garcia. I thought it was a pretty obvious choice seeing that he had two heart attacks in the past five years. So, he was the most likely to die since he wasn’t healthy. My next choice was Mr. Newton. Another obvious choice in my opinion. He’s atheist, has suspected homosexual activity, and has racial issues. To many bad things about him and not many good things. My third choice was hard but I chose Bobby Lang. I felt that he couldn’t help the group but I do feel bad about that choice. My last choice would be Dr. Lang. He is the only one I see that they can risk. Ph. D in history won’t help anyone. Most people chose Mrs. Hernandez but she has a child Jean who is three weeks old and is still nursing. So, if you kill Mrs. Hernandez then you are also killing Jean because she will stave to death. Other than that I kept everyone who was healthy and had good futures ahead of them.
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Julian Operana
I read What it means when a crowd in a faraway nation takes a soldier representing your own nation, shoots him, drags him from his vehicle and then mutilates him the dust. When I first was reading, I realized how detailed the writing was. It first talks about a man who felt anxiety and was very unease. It talks about he was new to it and never felt like it before. I rarely get anxiety because I live life with ease. I wondered why he thought he had to make a phone call but didn’t. I think the man is a little paranoid because after that he said he needed to go the yard but then take drive somewhere.. Then he finds a picture of dead soldiers and he can’t believe it. There was no shot wound on the soldier and no blood. He doesn’t know what to do and he did not know what would happen if he did what he thought. The whole story is very descriptive. He describes when he was sitting at home. “Meanwhile, the man was sitting in his home, comfortable, wearing warm socks and drinking orange juice from a smooth heavy glass, and was seeing the dead man in the color photograph.” This shows how much detail the author put in his writing. The only real problem with the paper is the ending. It just stops in the middle of a thought without us knowing what happens next. Not the best ending but, I good paper nonetheless.
Eggers, Dave. “How We Are Hungry”, What It Means When A Crowd In A Faraway Nation Takes A Soldier Representing Your Own Nation, Shoots Him, Drags Him From His Vehicle And Then Mutilates Him In The Dust. McSweeney’s, 2004. pgs 17-18. Splatter.writing101.net 2012 -
Julian Operana
Live Die Kill
There are many reasons that I live for but there are not a lot things that I would die and kill for. Living is what is given to you when you are born. You must cherish your life and the saying “living life to the fullest”. I would say that I live for my family and friends because they are everything to me. They have raised me, fed me, put clothes on my back and helped me become who I am today. I want to live for them because I want to be there whenever they need help so that I can give back part of what they have given me in my life. Furthermore, I would like to know what my future will be like. I want to see what my life will lead me to. I want to live my life to the fullest because we only have one shot at our lives. I want to experience being a husband and father. I want to see how my kids grow up. Teach them everything I know and be there for them. I care about what I have to live for; the people in my life wanting me to be alive and healthy.
To die for something is very hard for me because that is the only thing I am afraid of. My brother who teaches the bible every Sunday tells me to be humble and not to be afraid of death because there is life after earth. It shows that we will be forever living. Everything happens for a reason and if its your time to go its your time to go. If I would die it would be a for a good reason. I would die for the greater good. If there was something in my body that can find a cure for aids or cancer then I would risk my life for people. I would also die for my family. It is pretty obvious choice to die for your family but I know that everyone in my family would risk their lives to save another. Taking another persons life is against my religion and beliefs. There is only one scenario that I would kills another person. That would be if any close to me had their life in danger by a gunman, robber, etc. I was asked one time if I would kill someone for a billion dollars. I answered no because there is no reason that someone should kill someone for money. I think people should be less manipulated money. Money can’t buy you everything.
One thing I care about education and I think everyone should have a equal opportunity at it. The government should put most of there money in children’s education. I also care about the people around the world who are poor and suffering from starvation. Also for the people who suffer from disease and all the stereotypes. I care that we should protect this planet for our future. We should stop polluting and go green. All the things I like to do is what I care about the most. Playing a instrument, music, playing sports, and being active in general. I care that there are so many soldiers still out there. For the most part, I care for our society. The main thing I would change is this economy. We are in the worst economic time since the great depression. I think a new president would change it. I think changing the healthcare would help this country. Changing it to Medicare be available to everyone. I would also like if the government would cut taxes and let us choose where to spend our money. Things that make me angry are typical things that most people get mad at. A couple in particular is people who are ignorant and who have a lot of arrogance. I hate the slow drivers in the fast lane or just stupid drivers in general. Criminals are hard to deal with because crimes happen everywhere. Some are stopped and some crimes that are not stopped. I think our economy has something to with the high crime rate. Being lied to makes me angry especially when its by someone I know personally.
Things that bother me are just my personal opinions. It bothers me that people buy stuff just because it is a brand name even if it does not look good. It also bothers me that some people use profanity almost every other sentence. Smoking bothers me when I am near it. I don’t see the benefits of smoking. It bothers me that people also brag that they smoke illegal substances or they just have to tell everyone they do. A small thing that personally bothers me is when I have a hard time learning a song on a instrument. I feel that if I don’t succeed, I haven’t tried hard enough. Education in Illinois also bothers me because so many teachers are getting laid off. I went to Jacobs high school in Algonquin and last year they laid off so many teachers. Our school had a huge protest against it. I do not understand why would the government not cut something less important instead of losing education, it should be last on their list.
I stand for the saying hard work pays off. I know it’s a little cliché but its true. One of my favorite basketball players Kevin Durant said it best. “Hard Work beats Talent when Talent doesn’t work hard”. I stand for obeying your mother and father. They help you in every way possible. I have always respected my mother and father. Hopefully one day I can help them as much as they helped me when I was growing up. Growing up my mother has always told me to not hold grudges because it will only break up relationships and friendships. I stand for faith in God because I was raised to be very religious. I was never forced to anything. When I was a kid, I was forced to go to church but when I got older they never forced me and I had to make my own decision. I made the choice to go to church and become closer to God.
Furthermore, there are starving kids all around the world and I would like to help them. They don’t have the privileges that we do so it is our job to help other countries who are suffering. I try not to waste food because I know I am fortunate to have food put on the table each and every single day. To make it happen, I will work hard towards all my future goals and not give up till I complete it. I am trying to set goals that will make me work for it. I don’t want anything easy because I want to work towards my goals. I want to change in many ways to help my family and the world. The reasons why is because education and healthcare should be the main focus for every American. In my opinion those are the two of the most important things in the United States Of America. These are all my opinion and obviously other people have different opinions. I just believe in things that are morally right. To end it I think people should not take things lightly and also don’t take anything for granted you never know what is going to happen. These are all the things that are important.
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Jonte Spane
I believe the essay is very clear and informative of the fact that priorities to you are family and friends. Without family and friends people would have a heck of a struggle to deal with everyday life challenges. “Living is what is given to you when you are born. You must cherish your life and the saying “living life to the fullest”. I would say that I live for my family and friends because they are everything to me. They have raised me, fed me, put clothes on my back and helped me become who I am today. I want to live for them because I want to be there whenever they need help so that I can give back part of what they have given me in my life.” This quote taken from your essay was very interesting to me because it showed me how caring you are about life and what exactly you care about in your life. Being able to appreciate the people that care for you in your lifetime is a very mature accomplishment because everyone is not appreciative. You are a very appreciative person and I applaud you for that because those types of people are very hard to come by. I would like to hear more about their ethics in life leading up to why you are feeling the way you do about who is playing key roles in your life. “To die for something is very hard for me because that is the only thing I am afraid of. My brother who teaches the bible every Sunday tells me to be humble and not to be afraid of death because there is life after earth. It shows that we will be forever living. Everything happens for a reason and if it’s your time to go it’s your time to go. If I would die it would be for a good reason. I would die for the greater good. If there was something in my body that can find a cure for aids or cancer then I would risk my life for people. I would also die for my family. It is pretty obvious choice to die for your family but I know that everyone in my family would risk their lives to save another. Taking another persons life is against my religion and beliefs.” I completely agree with the fact that everyone has to die when it is their time to die no matter what the circumstance. The structure of this essay is very well and leads up to a great ending. The writing is very tentative and keeps me interested all the way through the essay. The writer chose first person point of view to show their objective position. The essay was very concrete and easy to comprehend for all that chose to read it. I was very enthused to read this essay because I found out there was another person in the class that believe when we die it is for a greater good and whatever is God’s will must occur.
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Katie Didier
First and foremost I really enjoyed your introduction. It was a great opening thought to give the reader a genuine, open feeling about your essay. The fact that you took such a broad, personal question and kept that feeling of importance with you to the essay made your work very enjoyable to read.
After reading your work I feel that you gave a really good explanation of yourself. The feeling I am left with is that you are a very moral, religious person and that you are grateful for what you have and who you are. I also feel that you live for your friends and family. However, I do think that you also live to be a well-rounded, intelligent person while you didn’t specifically say it I feel like you definitely said it in so many words.
The part of your essay that mentioned your family raising you and the little stories like how they didn’t force you into anything as a kid like going to church really gave a powerful statement about who you are and how you were raised. The fact that you gave little stories and examples of what certain things mean to you instead of simply saying they were important gave your writing more meaning and made it more memorable.
A major theme in your essay that I got was that many things are important to you and many things bother you. You listed so many things that I got a good feel for who you are as a person but I do feel that I lost the feeling of importance with the initial question because you didn’t explain many of them very thoroughly . For example, you said that ignorance and arrogance bothers you but that is all I know. As a reader I would love to know where those feelings stem from or to what extent they bother you. Maybe you could talk about why bad drivers annoy you.
Another aspect of your essay that really stuck me was the quote by the basketball player. It sent a powerful message in so little words. I could tell how much you value life and dedication and hard work and I could also tell how much basketball meant to you. Many people enjoy basketball but the fact that you could quote a specific player and his feelings about hard work was impressive.
In regards to what you would kill for to my understanding you wouldn’t kill unless protecting the ones that you love. I think that this feeling is shared with a lot of people but I think that you explained yourself very well.
In addition to your friends and family I feel that you also live for society in general. You mentioned those less fortunate than you and starving children and also the general well-being of the community when you said that you would give your life to promote the discovery of a new cure for cancer. This topic really gave me the impression that you are a very helpful, thoughtful person which I feel is the main purpose of this writing project: to tell the reader who you really are.
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Katie Didier, and 
Jonte Spane are discussing. 
John Dougherty, 
Jonte Spane 11:05 pm on April 22, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I had a joyous time reading the draft and thought it was very interesting. When I saw the writer was doing there project on a thrift store I thought of my project because they too have a thrift store. The story that was presented was very well designed and had great structure. The usage was great college level communication. The writer seems to be a very intelligent individual who is dedicated to helping others. The Service that the writer provided was very thoughtful and caring. The St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store was a great choice for the writer to be able to have showed what they have learned. The writer had a great deal of detail on what was too being included in the paper. There was great description on what surprised the writer while conducting there service at the St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store. There was a good lesson learned from the experience the writer had and too a great service given by them. The intriguing events that occurred while the writer was going about there service at the St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store were well placed in the draft. The writer also had no trouble including what really disturbed them and I loved that because the writer was being real with the reader. “I went and fixed all the books made them straight. I also fixed the movies and put them in proper order as well.” This quote used in the draft shows how dedicated the writer was to providing there service to the St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store. “After I thought the service wasn’t that bad we didn’t do that much hard work it was all easy for the most part. After the service I decided to look up the other things about the organization that they were talking about with the soup kitchens, food drives, etc. They offer childcare and early childhood education. They also have a homeless outreach program which serves men and women who are in need of food, clothing, and referrals for job training and employment opportunities.” This quote showed how well the writer overall thought about the project. I enjoyed reading the draft because I too have done many services and learned a lot from them. The fact that the writer tells about other things the St. Vincent De Paul Thrift Store Incorporation offers is great because it shows that they are trying there best as an incorporation to be as diverse as possible to helping the needs of all man kind. In Conclusion, this was a well typed draft and I would have a chosen the same location if I had of known about it before. This draft kept me interested and I did not fall asleep reading it because it was very developed. The writer didn’t hold anything back when they decided to form their draft and couldn’t have been more to the point as they were. I very much understood the message they were sending to the reader and believe it was a great one.
Katie Didier 10:38 am on April 24, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
The first thing that I noticed about you paper is that it is divided nicely into different sections. Of the papers I have read thus far you are the first one to do so. I feel like it really helps set the tone for your paper. With the subheadings I feel that you paper can more easily be distinguished as a research paper. I also really like that you organized the sections chronologically. Because you organized them chronologically I feel like the reader can really understand your perspective and viewpoints. With the chronology I can understand where you are coming from in the last paragraph because you explained yourself well in the first “before” paragraph.
Based off your title I can tell that your paper is about clothes and I like the creativity. However, it does not quite make sense to me. “We care on What you Wear Before There” seems like an interesting title however it confuses me a little. Maybe you should consider rewording it a little. I would suggest “we care about what you wear”. If you wanted to convey an alternate meaning than what I stated then I think you should revise your wording because that Is the meaning I get from it. However I do appreciate that you took the time to come up with a creative title unlike many of your classmates. : )
Also I can completely relate to going to volunteer to an organization and not feeling like you are making a difference. I understand that you think it is a good cause but because they did not have much for you to do you did not feel like you made much of an effort. However, even if you feel like you did not make a physical difference from being there you did make a difference in raising awareness for this organization. For example, you wrote this paper and at least three of your classmates are going to read it and your professor. But, I can relate to feeling like you did not make a difference. Earlier this year I volunteered with Mona Purdy at “Share your Soles” and they did not have much for us to do when we got there. That was a little discouraging, especially since most of the people in our group were so eager to help. However we ended up setting up a shoe sale to raise money for the cause. Ideally I would have like to help the kids and package shoes for them but then I remember that the sale I helped set up will help raise money for them.
I liked how you added a section at the end of your paper dedicated to a summary. I like the information that you had in it but I feel like it would greatly benefit from a little more of a reflective tone. For example, say whether or not you will ever go back to help out again or if you were discouraged by your experience and will not be returning. If you were discouraged is there anywhere else you would like to volunteer?