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Kyle Barczak
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Kyle Barczak
For this week’s journal entry, I, like many others, am going to be writing about the Act Out volunteer/service fair. I’m really glad I had showed up for the 11am classes portion of the fair. When I had walked up to it, to my surprise, it was actually really busy. I definitely didn’t think this fair would have gotten so much attention from so many people. When I had thought about the fair in the previous weeks leading up to it, I had thought it was just going to be a few tables in big circle with the class members and their poster boards, standing around bored. Luckily, I was way off. Especially with how many members of the organizations that showed up, I definitely didn’t think that many would have ended up showing up to the event. Although my group didn’t have someone from the organization show up, we had an excellent poster board, an iPad with a background on the organization, and a group of volunteers with a pretty good amount of knowledge. We had answered many questions from those who had came around to our spot, and we also got to enjoy going around to the other groups and seeing what they had done and learned. That’s another reason I had gone to the early portion of the fair as well, to see what exactly everyone else had done instead of restricting it to just our class. Overall I felt like it was a great experience and that it had gone very well.
Act Out Volunteer Service Fair, Moraine Valley Community College, Tuesday, May 1st -
Kyle Barczak
St. Vincent de Paul
The first place that my group had decided to do our service-learning project was for Share Your Soles. We had planned many things to do with this project. We were going to be getting together and asking family and friends for spare shoes that they had not worn, that weren’t too beat up, and asking them to donate to the cause and bring them with us when we went to do our volunteer work. We were also going to be setting up bins around the Moraine Valley campus, including the southwest learning center so other student and faculty could donate to the cause as well. That shortly ended when we found out we weren’t allowed to choose a cause that we had previously volunteered at.
Secondly we had picked the Salvation Army. William, Catherine, and Eva Booth had founded the organization back in 1865 in London. They were a strong Christian family who had been converting thieves, prostitutes, gamblers, and drunkards, trying to help them straighten out their lives through religion. In 1867 Booth had 10 full-time workers, and in a short 7 years, in 1874 Booth had grown to over 1,000 volunteers and 42 evangelists. We had chosen the location in the Burbank Illinois area. We had chosen this organization because they are an organization that we have all donated to before and because it was one that was within a close distance for all of us, almost next door to others. We had met outside of class to discuss this location a few times and to discuss what we would be doing outside of class to help with the organization. We were planning on setting up bins like we had planned for the Share Your Soles organization, talked to the proper people that we had to so it was allowed to place the bins in the proper buildings, and we had attempted to make contact with the organization. Once we had finally made a few contacts with different Salvation Army locations, including Burbank, we had quickly found out that one simply couldn’t walk in on certain days and offer volunteer work to the organization. You needed to have a certificate of some sort, or have a court order for volunteer work. I don’t know about you, but going out and committing a crime to do volunteer work for this organization seems like a bit much, at least I really think so. Honestly, that really upset me. I was really looking forward to working at this location. One thing that I was really excited for, with working with the Salvation Army, is that they have actual Army Officers who help train the Salvation Army Officers so they are working with the proper Army values and etiquette. This is something I would be extremely able to relate to, as I am a soldier in the US Army. The other thing that I really liked about the Salvation Army is that they do a lot more than just collect clothing for those in need. The Salvation Army Soldiers, who are citizens who give allegiance to the disciplines of the US Army, also participate in the Army’s musical programs, which teach younger people in the communities to sing and play instruments. They also visit those who are sick and lonely in hospitals, nursing homes, and correctional institutions. These are all things that I feel would really benefit ones community simply because they are looking out for one another. Especially for those that many may, sadly, completely forget about. There has got to be a time when one has driven past a retirement home or a correctional institution and had either thought that the building was vacant or had just not thought about those who may be living inside of the facility. They’re still human beings in our neighborhoods, and they need to be cared about, just like you and I. For these reasons, I had really, really wished we would be able to assist the Salvation Army.
The organization we had finally settled upon is the St. Vincent de Paul Parish. We’re going to be working in a thrift store that they have been running for quiet some time. The thrift store sells clothing items that are all from donation, but the nice thing about this thrift store is that all the proceeds go straight to helping families in need. From what I have read and learned, we’ll more than likely be helping sort clothes and helping get them on the floor so they’re available to customers. The way they use their money to help families in need is through Food Pantries, Sound and Sandwich Kitchens, Hunger Walks, Hygiene Kits, School Supply Drives, and a Christmas Gift program.
The Food Pantries and Sandwich Kitchen started back in 1980 in a small room in the Parish center. In June of 2002 they had come across a renovated space that they now use for storage, distribution, and as a hospitality center. They try to provide items that will help keep families holidays, like Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas meals, special. I find this to be a very awesome thing that the organization is doing. These moments in anyone’s life, no matter what age they are, is a very significant point in time. They are when families get together and celebrate all of the good times they have, along with any religious beliefs’ that they may follow. I know for myself, a few of the holidays are almost the only time I see some of my extended family throughout the year and that it’s a very special time for the family being able to be together. While some of the families who are in need may not be able to be with all of their loved ones, they’ll at least be able to celebrate with those that they are with and with, as I had previously said, food that keeps those occasions special.
The Sandwich Kitchen will serve over 28,000 sandwiches, 31,000 cups of coffee, and about 1,000 holiday meals to those who are in need. The crazy part about these numbers is that they are only in need of volunteers 6 days of a week, only 2 hours a day. So for 12 hours a week, totaling to 2,304 hours a year, they are serving all of those items. If that isn’t something that’s pretty incredible, I don’t know what is.
Their Hygiene kits consist of soaps, shampoos, conditioners, toothpaste, toothbrushes, combs, and razors so those who are in need, or living on the street, can start their days feeling fresh and as clean as ever. Without these items, those who are in need can also become victims to disease and sickness. These items not only are keeping them clean, but it’s protecting them from possibly rather threatening sickness.
As for their School Supply Drive, the organization send the donated school supplies to those who are in 4th to 8th grade that are enrolled in the Highsight/Insight program. The cool thing about this program is that not only can you donate school supplies, or the obvious money, but you’re able to donate your time and mentor those who are in need of assistance with school work.
After learning all these things about the St. Vincent de Paul Parish organization, I am more than eager to begin working with them very shortly. While I’m sure it’ll be a great experience helping out in their thrift store, I’m hoping there is going to be more opportunity that day, or down the road, the help with their other programs as well.
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Kyle Barczak
For this weeks journal entry, I couldn’t seem to find another Why White Rice chapter title that seemed to grab my interested right away so I read, “Ruptura: Acknowledging the Lost Subject of the Service Learning Story” by Tracy Carrick, Margaret Himley, and Tobi Jacobi. After reading this article and or story, I seem to have a little bit more of an idea as to why Professor McGuire is having us do anything with service learning in a COM102 class. The whole concept of getting out there and not only witnessing something first hand, but being a part of something that can change someone’s life forever, can be taken and written in many different ways. But that’s not the only thing that’s helping with your writing. I feel that a big part of the service learning experience is really helping myself, and possibly many others in the class, with their “interviewing” techniques. I’ve never used an actual person as a source in any of my papers, but with something like this, it’s very, very easy to do. And all the knowledge that they’re willing to share with you… It’s almost enough to write the paper on its own. The one thing I still don’t totally understand is to why it has to be service learning. I think students would be a lot more compelled to do something that really interests them. I know that I have a hard time even being able to make it to some of these service learning’s, but if it were something that was more flexible, or something that I already knew more about, I feel like I would have enjoyed the entire process much more.
Carrick Tracy, Himley Margaret, Jacobi Tobi. “Ruptura” Language and Learning Across the Discipline. Pg 298-308. http://www.splatter.writing101.net April 11, 2012. -
Kyle Barczak
For my journal entry this week, I decided to write about Chapter 6 of Why White Rice “Existential Angst, Orgasm(s), and Jazz, Recognizing that All Writing Is Creative Writing.” I mostly picked this chapter because of the title. I mean, come on, it’s one very interesting title. At first I had no idea what to expect from it, or where the main idea would come from, but I soon learned that it was primarily focused on, or at least what I thought it was focused towards, was improvisation; the act of being able to completing a task without suggested necessities or using something similar, or something like that. After learning that much, I decided the Jazz part of the title makes a little more sense… The rest, I’m not so sure about. With improvising comes change, and with change comes a whole new crowd of people who will be interested in your work, or critique it very harshly, especially if your new work becomes popular. This is why improvising is very important. Many people can get the same work done that anyone else on the street could probably do, but improvising it makes that work a little more personal, just like with music, or Jazz more specifically. Jazz has its own free form with a lot of emotion. Each Jazz artist is different in their own way having their own personal experiences through life, which allows them to be more creative and change it up a little bit. After thinking about all of that, is when I realized that this is the focus of the Chapter, to be a little bit different.
McGuire Michael, “Exstential Angst, Orgasm(s) and Jazz Recognizing that all Writing is Creative Writing.” Why White Rice? Iowa: Hunt Pub -
Kyle Barczak
For my journal entry this week, I did it on a chapter in Why White Rice that I read a while ago, “Write That Down!” When I had read the title I just figured it would be over taking notes and things that might be important, or ideas that might flowing through your mind, but nothing really special at all. Turns out that I wasn’t right at all. Well, I guess I could have been, because this chapter was about writing thesis’s, so in the end, anything that you’re thinking about could end up being a thesis. That is, of course, if you’re going to be writing a paper about that subject or you’re really enthusiastic about it. Throughout my time in school, I never really put much though behind a thesis statement, and barely grasp the idea of why they’re so important, but this chapter really seemed to clarify that for me. I learned a lot about writing them, structuring them, and why exactly they’re important. Without a solid thesis statement should be able to clarify what the writer is going to be writing about in their paper, and briefly touch on some of the main points that the writer will be focusing on. Without this, a reader will come into the paper not having any sort of idea as to what they’re about to be reading, or if they’re really going to be interested in the paper at all. For those reasons, a thesis statement will not only help yourself with your focus on your paper, but it will give your reader an idea of what to be expecting while reading your paper.
DeVillez, Eric., Michael McGuire, Thomas Dow, and Troy Swanson. “Why White Rice?”. Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2000. Print. -
Kyle Barczak
Just curious if anyone in particular would like a review on their service learning paper. No one in my group seems to have done it.
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Melissa Castillo
You can go ahead and look at mine. Only one person has responded on mine. Thanks
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Kyle Barczak
My Journal Entry this week is on Bobbie Harro’s, “The Cycle of Socialization.” When I began reading this, and saw the word oppression, it reminded me of the in class conversation we had; which in my mind, broke down to politics. The way I see things, Democrats like things to be given out and for everyone to be equal with fair opportunity while Republicans pretty much have a, “get up and go get it” attitude without much limitation. I tend to stand more for the Republican side of thing, but my entire thought is pretty much, if you want it, you can go get it. There may be a whole lot of obstacles in the way, but that’s what’s going to make you appreciate your achievement or your attempt to get there. In the end of that entire journey, all your choices affect primarily one person. You. With that being said, that’s where I stand with oppression. Unless something is directly affecting myself, my family, friends, or the country, I honestly don’t care too much about it. Things happen, that’s life. People are born, people die, it’s all a natural thing. If something is happening half-way across the world, in another country, and it’s not doing any harm to anyone directly related to me, why should it bother me at all? Now I may be wrong about the entire situation, but from that class discussion, something along those lines happened to be what we were discussing in class. I may be entirely wrong for my view on oppression, but from that discussion, that’s what I got out of it.
Harro, Bobby. “The Cycle Of Socialization.”(2012): 15-21. Splatter.writing101.net. Web. 21 Mar. 2012 -
Kyle Barczak
Spread the word
When I first learned that there was a service-learning (community service) requirement in Prof. McGuires course, I completely thought it was a joke. Quiet honestly, I still think it is, but to each his own. After my experience with Share Your Soles, I couldn’t have been happier with what I had done.
When I first arrived at Share Your Soles, I was surprised with the amounts of shoes that they had for sale. It was exactly like Prof. McGuire had said, almost like a thrift store. I then found my way to many chairs, lined up in rows, in front of a TV. At this point I was actually very surprised. I thought that I was just going to be showing up, packaging up some shoes, and going on my way. I had never thought there would be some sort of lesson/presentation before all of this. I was really fond of the presentation that Share Your Soles had set up, strictly to let you know why you are doing what you’re going to be doing. The videos had brought up a new feeling, one of respect and appreciation, for everything that I have and for everything that Mona Purdy has done. Who would think that one person could manage to get over 1.5 million shoes together in a bit over nine years? When Prof. McGuire had asked my class, “Can one person make a change?” in the beginning of the semester, I didn’t think it’d be possible at all. The world has a population of over 6 trillion people and one person is supposed to change something? I simply laughed at that thought. Share Your Soles has shown me that while that seems quite baffling, it’s very possible.
One other thing that I was extremely surprised with was the condition of shoes that were being provided. They were shoes that had very little, to no wear in them. As if those who were donating these shoes had bought them strictly for this charity. The brands had ranged anywhere from Sketchers to Converse. Most of which, even someone like myself wouldn’t mind owning. Every little aspect of this organization had kept surprising me, but nothing like the quality of a pair of donated shoes.
During my time at Share Your Soles I had very many interesting conversations with many of the other volunteers. Mostly were about what Mona Purdy had experienced when she first traveled through Central America. Mona was a first-hand witness of children putting hot tar onto their feet so they could participate in running events. Now, some people may not know exactly what tar is, or how hot it can get, but I’m here to at least let you know that it can reach temperatures around 175 degrees Fahrenheit. I don’t know about you but that sounds pretty hot, and just so children can run in fun events. Then one volunteer had mentioned what the surgeon told Mona. They were an American orthopedic surgeon that happened to be in the same village as Mona was traveling, which had the fuel to ignite the fire to what had turned in to Share Your Soles. The surgeon had told Mona about why he had been in that village; to amputate some of the children’s limbs, and that this wasn’t there first or last visit. I would have never thought that some of these children would have to get their limbs amputated simply because they were putting something on their feet so they can essentially go throughout a normal day. Why should a child have to go through something like that? First having to experience so much pain by applying the tar to their feet but then losing their feet over time, it’s almost not worth putting the tar on their feet to begin with.
The last, relevant topic, that myself and many other volunteers had talked about was what Mona had been asked when she made her first donation to the orphanage in Honduras. When Mona had brought the shoes that she had gathered to the orphanage, one of the workers had stopped her and asked, “When are you coming back?” One might think that the question may sound a little selfish, even though the shoes are going to the children, but this simple question is why Mona had continued going back and getting others involved. Mona had slowly gotten organizations such as schools, scouts, and churches involved in the cause to help donate shoes to those in need. Mona had also started getting attention from media outlets such as newspapers, radios, and even television. After Mona had received all this attention she had been getting shoes in from all across the country. I have no idea how Mona did it. I know that if I were to try and accomplish anything like this, I wouldn’t have the slightest idea where to begin. Either that or the thought of how big it might get would frighten me. I’m not one for getting much attention, especially from so many people and places. But Mona… Mona knew what she was getting in to and was much more than successful with what she had set out to do. Other volunteers had suggested other things that they would have done, like writing letters to shoe companies and stores, or with today’s society, focus more on social networking websites like twitter and Facebook. After all, we are living in the “Facebook revolution.” Why not take advantage of it?
After the entire event, I had felt very, very good about myself. I was extremely happy with what I had done, who I had talked to, and the friends I made while I was at Share Your Soles, but the best part may have been when I had gotten home. My mom had asked where I was, so I told her. She didn’t think I’d be interested in anything related to volunteering, which didn’t surprise me. We then talked about the entire event, and well, basically everything that I had already mentioned. She seemed very appalled by the entire situation that the children are going through. But that isn’t where I had stopped learning about what the feelings of giving back are like. For the days that followed my experience with Share Your Soles, I had thought about what I had talked to my mom about, and decided that even I had helped make a difference. Not only with volunteering at Share Your Soles but because I had helped spread the word for a continuously growing cause.
One person doesn’t necessarily have to do something that Mona had done to make a change. They can simply volunteer and give back to a charity or organization and indirectly make a difference in someone’s life that they may never meet or realize how much that person appreciates what whomever did when they volunteered. Or, like myself, they can realize that they had simply made a difference by raising awareness. After all, that’s how the organization grew to be what it is today, right? Mona had gone to other organizations, shared her story, and it’s been growing ever since. So I continued to spread the word, even if it was just to my mom, but that can very quickly multiply. And this is where I would challenge you, the reader, to continue doing the same. All you have to do is simply spread the word of an organization you believe in and the story that helped that organization become what it is today, and you can make the change.
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Maura Bilek
I really enjoyed your draft. When you initially said you thought the service learning joke was a requirement, I laughed. I was a little confused as to why you still think it’s a joke, because the rest of your piece went on to describe what seemed to you to be an extremely positive experience. I
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Maura Bilek
*I wish that I would have been able to make it to Share Your Soles, because it sounds like it was a very interesting and educating experienced. I
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Maura Bilek
I liked that you included background information about Mona and how she got the ball rolling for this awesome project. It was nice to know people were donating decent quality shoes; I was wondering about what the quality of the donations turned out like. I have never been in a situation where I couldn’t afford new shoes, and I can’t imagine what that would be like. Share Your Soles is really one of the coolest service projects I’ve heard about. It’s cool you’ve gained so much from the experience. “When Prof. McGuire had asked my class, ‘Can one person make a change?’ in the beginning of the semester, I didn’t think it’d be possible at all. The world has a population of over 6 trillion people and one person is supposed to change something? I simply laughed at that thought. Share Your Soles has shown me that while that seems quite baffling, it’s very possible.”<I thought that was a very strong, well written statement. One person CAN make a difference, which is something I've pondered myself. I think the service learning requirement was a great way of getting people involved, which is why he assigned it. It was a good idea but there are people who have extremely busy lives outside of school, such as myself, which is why I haven't been able to do my individual service project yet. The fact it's an assignment kind of forces people to get involved if they want to keep a good standing in the class, but it would be interesting to see how many people got involved regardless if it wasn't a requirement. T
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Maura Bilek
*The sad thing is, I don’t think half as many people would have gotten involved, or maybe they would have.
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Maura Bilek
Either way, I think this unit on service work has completely changed my outlook and opened my eyes and from the looks of your paper it seems like its done the same for you. Awesome job, also sorry for the multiple comments, this internet browser is being weird.
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Kyle Barczak
Plagiarism has never been something that was acceptable. Not in elementary school, grammar school, high school, college, or anywhere that you may go with a career. There are and will always be very severe consequences. While some may think they’re extremely drastic, they’re more than necessary. In a school environment, obviously, you will not receive any credit for your assignment and will have plagiarism on your record for years and years to come. Never mind the possible risk of being dropped from the course or any other consequences that might follow you while you’re at your current school of choice. Why people plagiarize, I will never know. The assignments I’ve heard of or seen other students plagiarize on haven’t been very difficult at all but they still found it necessary. I believe students just need to work on time management to ensure that they’re assignments will be done properly, efficiently, and truthfully. There are many, many ways one can get a source sited properly. There are websites, people to talk to, and books that provide very simple guides to follow to ensure that you aren’t plagiarizing. Now if one were to copy an entire assignment and use that as their own, well, they’re out of luck. They’re going to be caught and they’re going to be paying the consequences for it. There are small things that many people are victims to though. Something like using an image in a paper or assignment and not properly citing whomever took the photo or is publishing it.
Troy Swanson, “Why White Rice? thinking through writting” Chapter 7 “Mash it up…gracefully using sources”pgs163-174. Kendall Hunt. Print. -
Kyle Barczak
Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor,
Poverty is a very large crisis, not only throughout the world but in our local suburbs as well; communities like Bremen, Palos, Orland, and Worth. There are families that are having trouble properly feeding their young, growing children, supplying their children with school supplies, and proper clothing for the appropriate seasons.
But there’s something we, as local community members, can do. We can volunteer and help make lives for these families and children much more enjoyable. Although everyone is at risk of malnutrition, it’s mostly children that need to be worried about. Without proper nutrients and vitamins, the children can face some serious health problems, mostly because they are at a critical growing and developing stage in their lives. We can help these children maintain proper nutrition so they aren’t possible victims to diseases such as cystic fibrosis and celiac disease.
Together We Cope is a local foundation that helps single parents, under-employed workers, victims of disaster, and many others who are going through a hardship in their lives. They help those in need by providing food, clothing, financial assistance with mortgage, rent and utilities, and they provide children with necessary school supplies and backpacks to get them back in school to continue their education.
One might ask, “How can I help a foundation like this?” Well, one can volunteer at their location in Tinley Park or provide many needed items. Things such as food, childrens gifts, school supplies, or special items like turkeys and hams for the holidays.
Change can happen. Those who are going through hard times lives can be helped.Sincerely,
Kyle Barczak-
Maura Bilek
I thought this response was very well written and included great resources relating to the subject. I was wondering however, what article/magazine/column you were replying to, because I didn’t see a source. Anyway, I am glad you enligtened people to the fact that many surrounding areas that are known as ‘affluent’ have many people suffering from this issue of poverty as well. For example, I recently started a new job in Orland Park. I expected the customers to be different from when I worked in an area closer to Chicago. I definitely didn’t expect to see any homeless people, like I did so often when I worked in Burbank. However, I was pretty surprised to discover working drive thru how many people pay for meals completely in change, or end up not having enough money to pay for their food after I tell them their credit card has been declined. Also everyday a homeless man comes by the drive thru window around lunch time and scrapes up change from by the window that customers have dropped. It’s insane how fast poverty is spreading in our country and worsening due to the state of the economy, and I’m glad you chose to speak out on such a relevant topic.
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Kyle Barczak
In Chapter Five of Why White Rice section 5.7, Prof McGuire goes over, “Googling is Not the Same as Thinking.” I could honestly say that without google, I would be, “one hot mess.” I’ve used google for everything from checking the weather outside to trying to find legitimate sources for this class, which, google has absolutely helped me. This chapter definitely helped me in learning how to use google in a more efficient way. More or less not looking at only links and webpages on the first page. I had no idea those were there because they were the most popular websites. I had just figured they were what was most relevant to what I was looking for. While it is likely that the first few pages I’m looking for may have exactly what I was searching for in the first place, they might just be popular hits which can contain little to no information for what I was actually looking for. I was also surprised to find out that websites paid to be listed in a higher standing on google searches. Then again, I have also always wondered where google employees would make their money. I guess that’s one way to do it. This little section in Why White Rice has helped me learn quite a bit about a website that is averaging over 3 billion searches a day (and I used google to find that number). I wouldn’t have guessed that after all this time websites seem to be competing in a contest rather than which site is actually more accurate.
McGuire, Michael. “Googling Is Not the Same as Thinking.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 119-20. Print. -
Kyle Barczak
In class on Tuesday we were covering oppression. When I had first heard the word, I had no idea what it truly meant. After listening to other students give their views on it, I still had no idea what it meant. I just knew I had agreed with what some had thought and disagreed with many others as well. After actually looking it up and finding out that it’s, “the act of subjugating by cruelty, force, etc or the state of being subjugated in this way”, I now fully understand what the actual conversation was about and still stand by what I had been agreeing with. I also found it be extremely similar with my political views. I don’t believe in having free health care or having things handed out to people. I believe if someone wanted to make their life better then they should be working hard to do just that. That’s how everyone who is successful did it, right? Well, no, that isn’t right, but someone in their family at some point or another was very successful. While there are exceptions to my statement, there are exceptions. What I’m getting at is, for example, how the wall was constructed in whichever country that it was in, that didn’t bother me to the slightest extent because it isn’t affecting me personally or anyone that I am close with. While I said there are exceptions to my previous statement, I also believe there are exceptions with this statement as well. The problem with all of this is, though, is that it’s personal opinions. We all get worked up over what we all think is morally correct or incorrect when most of it is just an opinion.
In the class -
Kyle Barczak
Elevator Speech Outline
Intro – Go over what Poverty is as a whole
Talk about the past and what it did to the country/world at that time
Talk about the current and how it’s effecting the country/world and families, especially children
Conclude with organizations that are helping the cause and what they’re doing.
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Kyle Barczak
Poverty Across The World
Poverty in the United States has always, and will always be in issue. Recently, mostly starting in 2000, poverty has been on an increase and it doesn’t look like it will be slowing down any time soon. Some will tell you that the reason for our poverty level is related to the wars we have been fighting and others may tell you that it can be linked to immigration and illegal immigrants in the country. No matter what is actually causing the problem in this country, we all have to acknowledge what it is, how others are suffering, and how we can help those who are suffering.
As everyone knows, the Great Depression was an extremely difficult time in the United States. The Great Depression lasted for a period of four years from 1929 through 1933, making it the most severe economic crisis of modern times (English.illinois.edu). Though most of the population in the United States knows about the Great Depression, not everyone knows how much of the world it had actually affected. It hit countries like Great Britain and Germany very hard, as well as other European countries and Latin America who had something to do with American trade or those who were in debt to the country. In 1933 President Roosevelt was elected and with him came the “New Deal.” The New Deal was a way for the government to become involved in the creation of jobs with things such as street cleaning and the cleaning/managing of other government facilities. Sadly, the New Deal didn’t help the economy very well; at least not in any form of a rapid recovery. While the New Deal was slowly decreasing the un-employment rate of the United States, by 1939 15 percent of the work force was still un-employed (English.illinois.edu). In 1941 when the United States had join World War II, the un-employment rate dropped significantly as our factories were bombarded with ordered from overseas for items like ammunition and other military necessities.
In today’s economy the highest number of Americans living in poverty is 46.2 million, recorded in 2011 (Tavernise). That was 6.7% of the work force in the United States at the time. While obviously not as bad as it was previously in 1939 and the years before that, that’s still a very high number, especially in today’s society. There are many reasons for today’s poverty level in the United States. We have a rather high standard of living; our country is beginning to be overpopulated, and companies are beginning to rely on machines to do their work rather than pay citizens to be doing manual labor. While we do have a decrease in the cost for homes, our prices for other necessities like food and clothing haven’t changed a bit. This is because companies, obviously, have to buy their materials from other producers, mostly being outside countries. Unlike how the Great Depression affected many other countries, our current poverty level isn’t harming anyone but ourselves so other countries don’t have a reason to be lowering their prices for goods. Over population in the Country is from illegal immigrants, those who are migrating and becoming citizens, as well as those in this country who have a ridiculous amount of children. Illegal immigrants are a problem because they’re willing to work “under the table” for companies and are working for a much lower pay than most people will settle for. Those who are migrating and becoming citizens become a problem because while they’re getting jobs, natural born citizens are unable to because all the open positions are becoming filled. Citizens who are having unnecessary amounts of children are an issue because when those children grow up, that will only create a bigger challenge for themselves and others to find work within the country. While some of these statements may be an opinion, they can also be viewed as being entirely true by many people.
Recently it was recorded that 36.5 million Americans, roughly one out of eight families, were living in poverty and 15.4 million Americans were living in extreme poverty, an income of less than half the poverty line (Poverty and Hardship). This means that without even knowing it, you are bumping in to, talking to, or quiet possibly being mean to someone who is experiencing an extremely tough time in the United States. These citizens going through this hardship are experiencing homelessness, higher risks for disease, and the obvious, stress but most importantly, children are getting the worse end of the bargain. Children that are born into poverty are being damaged for the rest of their lives before they even have a chance to be in the real world. It is leaving new born children with a higher risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disease later in life. The worse part about this is that the embryo is affected within the first few weeks of the egg being germinated; meaning the child is at harm before the mother is even aware that she is pregnant (McLaughlin). Professor Carol Tannahill stated,
The association between deprivation and ill-health is well established, but the pathways through which deprivation leads to poorer health outcomes are less well understood. Previous findings from the study have confirmed that people with relatively low income, living in poor circumstances, have more miles on their biological clock than people of the same age in better circumstances. The new findings add evidence that people in poorer socio-economic circumstances may face an uphill health challenge from before birth (McLaughlin).
What can we do to end this in our Country? We can volunteer and give back to society and those who are in need. But on an even bigger scale, the government can take a few steps towards trying to end, or make a dent, in our nation’s poverty level. For example, how President Barack Obama is pushing congress to reward companies that are keeping jobs in the United States. This would come with great benefits. The company would still continue to make money, if not more from their rewards, and would open many more jobs for citizens in this country. President Obama is also urging congress to extend the payroll tax cut. That means if the tax cut lapses, you’ll have to pay another forty dollars per paycheck after February (Jackson). What does all of this mean? This means President Obama is trying to get money circulating back into the United States. Whether it’s rewarding a company with money for hiring more Americans or extending a payroll tax cut, getting money back in the system for Americans allows for more money to be made and for more money to be spent.
But that’s just the big picture. Sure we’d all love to see American get back on its feet and be the number one nation to live in again, but that’s going to take a lot of hard work. In the small picture, helping the country will be helping our future generations to come as well. How? The children, those who are being born into poverty now, will have better lives. They’ll be able to attend better schools, have proper nutrition, and would have a lessened risk for possibly life threatening diseases before they’re born. Being able to change so much for the future can be done, we all just have to put in a little bit of effort and spare time.
Getting involved in something like poverty look like an extremely challenging task to get a hand of, but really, it isn’t. One has the option to volunteer at local fundraisers or they can participate in a food drive. There are very many ways to be a part of something; something big. All it takes is a free time and a helping hand and you can make a difference in someone’s life. There are many organizations out there, some closer to your hometown than others, but no matter what the organization is, they will be helping a great cause.
Founded in 1945, CARE’s primary focus was to provide relief for those who had survived World War II. Ever since then, CARE has been trusted for compassion and generosity by millions. CARE is an organization seeking a world of hope; they are the leading humanitarian organization fighting global poverty. Their community-based efforts are to improve basic education, prevent the spread of disease, increase access to clean water and sanitation, and protect natural resources, but mostly, they are here to help rebuild people’s lives. CARE offers multiple ways to support their effort like donations, a student action toolkit, and ways to spread the word to your community or creating a group page supporting CARE. You can learn more and give a helping hand to CARE by visiting their website at http://www.care.org.
Bread for the World is a group of Christians urging the nation’s decision makers to end hunger at home and abroad. They write very many letters and e-mails to members of Congress as well as having meetings with Congress men and women. They are engaging more volunteers through churches, campuses, and other organizations. In 2009 Bread for the World urged Congress to reform the ways in which foreign aid is provided so we can make fighting poverty more effective. Congress also increased funding for programs that fight world hunger and poverty worldwide. They also won a supplemental appropriation of $1.8 billion towards the global hunger crisis in 2008. Bread for the World’s website offers newsletters, blogs, and multiple ways to help their organization such as writing to congress, donating, joining their cause, ways to engage your church, and how to organize your community. They are even backed through the Better Business Bureau. If you’d like to learn more about Bread for the World or even help their cause you can visit their website at http://www.bread.org.
Save the Children is an independent organization creating lasting changes for the lives of children in the United States and around the world. They are recognized for their accountability, innovation, and collaboration. They work with governments and other non-profit organizations without interfering with political agenda’s or religious orientations. Save the Children provides food, medical care and education while communities of disaster rebuild. They received a rating of “A” by the American Institute of Philanthropy, met all standards of charity accountability from the Better Business Bureau, received a four star rating from the Charity Navigator and they were placed on the Forbes 200 Largest U.S. Charities List. Save the Children is partnered with companies like IKEA, PepsiCo, Microsoft, Toys “R” Us, ESPN, Starbucks, Target, Wal-Mart, and Kraft Foods. Save the Children has a work location all over the world. They are located in Africa, Asia, Latin America/Caribbean’s, Eurasia, and the United States. They offer very many ways to give to their organization. One can help fund their programs, honor a “special person,” order from a gift catalog, and sponsor a child. If you’d like to learn more about Save the Children, you can visit their website at http://www.savethechildren.org.
Feeding America, quiet obviously, is an organization focused on feeding those who are less fortunate in our own country. Their mission is to feed Americans through food banks and engage the country to participate in fight to end hunger. They believe in respect, stewardship and accountability, collaboration, urgency, service, integrity, and diversity to help them achieve their goals. They have successfully complied with all of the standards with the Better Business Bureau to become an accredited charity. Feeding America focuses on the physical and mental health as well as child development and education aspects of poverty alongside hunger. They pair these up together because without a proper nutrition, one is lacking essential nutrients for the proper growth and development to become a healthy individual. With that said, without those nutrients you may be at risk of the ability to learn, grow, fight infections, diabetes, and chronic illnesses like hypertension, hyperlipidemia, and other cardiovascular risks. Each year Feeding America is helping feed over 37 million families, almost 8.5% of this country’s population. They are partnered with local food banks across the country. To volunteer you just have to call your local food bank. They are also partnered with General Mills, American Idol, Kellogg’s, Kraft, Kroger, Nestle, PepsiCo, Campbell and Google, just to name a few major companies. They are also partnered with celebrities like Ben Affleck, Mario Batali, Rachel Ray, Sheryl Crow, Matt Damon, and Chris Bridges (Ludacris). You can learn more about Feeding American at their website, https://www.feedingamerica.org.
Together We Cope is a more local nonprofit agency that assists families in temporary crisis based in Tinley Park. They offer support for more than 20 communities in four south Chicago townships: Bremen, Palos, Orland and Worth. They provide items such as food, shelter, clothing, and referrals helping whom over they are assisting to get back on their feet. Together We Cope started in 1982 by an Oak Forest resident, Loraine Cook, while she was collecting clothing for a family that needed assistance in her church. While other families were going through financial hard times, Cook became known for gathering food and clothing for those families in need. Recently, they partnered with South Suburban PADS and started a new program, Families First. This program is to serve homeless families with children through a transitional to permanent housing program. This year, on February 24th, Together We Cope will be celebrating 30 years of assisting families with a “Red Carpet Event Dinner Dance” as a donation dinner. They are sponsored through small local companies like Molly Maid, Marquette Bank, CarMax, Walt’s Food Center, MB Financial Bank, and Odyssey Fun World. They offer multiple ways to find out about their next volunteer sessions through newsletters, FaceBook, and Twitter. Along with all that, they offer success stories, items that would be needed at their pantry, and other information about their volunteers at https://www.togetherwecope.com.
Citations
Jackson, David. “Obama to Backers: Pressure Congress on Payroll Tax Cut.” USA Today. Gannett, 15 Feb. 2012. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. <http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2012/02/obama-to-push-for-payroll-tax-cut/1>.
McLaughlin, Martyn. “Babies Born into Poverty Are Damaged Forever before Birth.” Scotsman.com. The Scotsman, 24 Jan. 2012. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. <http://www.scotsman.com/the-scotsman/scotland/babies_born_into_poverty_are_damaged_forever_before_birth_1_2072713>.
TAVERNISE, SABRINA. “Soaring Poverty Casts Spotlight on ‘Lost Decade’” The New York Times. The New York Times, 13 Sept. 2011. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. <http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/14/us/14census.html?pagewanted=all>.
“About the Great Depression.” Welcome to English « Department of English, College of LAS, University of Illinois. University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. <http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/depression/about.htm>.
“Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.” Sorry —. Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, 20 Dec. 2077. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. <http://www.cbpp.org/cms/?fa=view>.
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Maura Bilek
I acquired a lot of new facts from your piece that I was unaware of before reading your paper. Overall I found it very informative, as well as enjoyable and interesting. An element of the paper as a whole you may want to look into expanding is its degree of persuasiveness. I doubt many people would disagree with you on the fact that poverty is a huge problem, but perhaps mentioning some misconceptions about the public’s general knowledge of poverty would add to your piece substantively. I found myself wanting to know more about different stances of your topic, for instance, people within politics or our government who make out poverty to be less of a serious problem than it actually is. One way you could reach people and engage them in your cause would be to elaborate more within your pieces about the day to day lives of those who are impoverished. You made one great point relating to this in the fourth paragraph: “This means that without even knowing it, you are bumping in to, talking to, or quiet possibly being mean to someone who is experiencing an extremely tough time in the United States”. This was a simple, yet straightforward and an extremely true statement. Connecting this strong statement to a statistic about high poverty rate especially made me stop and think as a reader about the seriousness of your presented issue. One thing that stuck out to me from the beginning for some reason was your title. It basically led me to believe your piece was going to be about poverty from a general, entire world perspective. From what I read, however, it seemed like you were analyzing poverty from a national level rather than international. Your paragraph about the Great Depression especially made me think about this, because I was wondering how this specific event had impact on the world as a whole’s issue of poverty. Obviously, poverty in America could be what the classes of wealthy people live like in less civilized countries. So I think you should either modify the title, or include more examples about countries other than America to strengthen your points. I thought you made a good comparison of the cost of living to standards of living, and how a house doesn’t cost as much as buying food and clothes does these days. I think you’re headed in a great direction with this topic, and some revising will make this awesome. Overall it was a good read.
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Kyle Barczak
Thanks Maura. I definitely agree with everything you said, especially about the title. Prof McGuire pointed that out to me in class when we had our speeches and while I wanted to focus on world poverty, I didn’t realize that I had stuck to the United States.
Once again, thanks for your input!
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Kyle Barczak
I really enjoyed reading Dave Eggers, “Your Mother and I.” I found his writing to be very humorous and for it to be an overall exciting read. Even right from the beginning when Eggers mentioned an Uncle Frank who always seemed to enunciate too much when he sang, I thought that was very relatable for many people, especially those with a singing background (obviously.) The part of his writing that I wasn’t very comfortable with was that it seemed to be written as if he were speaking to you while doing activities. For example, the line, “You’re done already? Okay, here’s the Monetary Jack. Just dump it in the bowl.” While this is written directly to the reader, I felt a little un-comfortable with it. There’s just something about telling a story through writing, with a first person perspective that I’m not too fond of. I would personally like something that leaves my mind room for imagination, to try and imagine everything that’s going on around me or in the scene of the story. I also kept going back to Eggers other story, “What I Mean When a Crowd in a Faraway Nation Takes A Soldier Representing Your Own Nation, Shoots him, Drags Him From His Vehicle And Then Mutilates Him In The Dust” and about how much these stories were contradicting each other. Eggers ability to write with multiple stances for any topics going on in the world is extremely impressive; well, I at least think so.
Eggers, Dave. “Your Mother and I.” How We Are Hungry. McSweeney’s. 2002: 115-123. “Splatter: The Messy Art of Writing”. Web. 16, Feb 2012 -
Kyle Barczak
As I was reading, “Village Voice” by Peter Hessler, I was amazed with what Rajeev did with the Peace Corps by setting up the village of Namje in Nepal. Reducing the distance that had to be traveled just to get water from the spring had to have made the biggest difference for the community. The background history that Hessler added helped me really understand the Peace Corps and what they were about and how it was founded. Before reading this, I had no idea that the Peace Corps had even existed. I’ve never heard it mention in a political speech or anything about it’s funding being lessened or raised. I definitely believe that the Peace Corps should have at least a slightly higher increase in their yearly budget to contribute to their cause. I do think that Rajeev had an amazing idea getting popular names like Jay-Z and Beyonce to talk about the Peace Corps. Getting information out on TV channels like MTV or anything similar would help raise awareness exceptionally and would help the growing generations understand how much they can do for the world. Rajeez is obviously an extremely dedicated man. With going to college as well as continuing to work on the Peace Corps, he’s definitely set on making a change in the world. If he continues with his hard work, I believe he will definitely be making a change and will also be making a great example for everyone to follow.
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Kyle Barczak
I thought the “Who Would Survive” activity was very simple, then again when it’s something like survival of the fittest, I think most anything would be. The first and easiest person for me to get rid of was Jean Hernandez. The reasons being very simple; she’s extremely young and while not being a major drain on food, she would be “dead weight” in my opinion. Also, after the radiation has dropped to a safe level, she wouldn’t be able to help stabilize a new society or shelter to live in. She would be needing constant attention which would also require another persons help. Secondly was Dr. Garcia. With his recent health record of two heart attacks in the last 5 years the chance of another seems significantly high. For all we know, we can pick him over someone else and he could die within those two weeks of unsafe conditions. Lastly, I picked Bobby Lang. Sadly, it’s because of his disability. While Prof. McGuire did make it clear that his disability wasn’t very significant I felt that he would still potentially be holding someone back and possibly needing help or lack the ability to help. After a bit of discussion my group and I came to the conclusion that these three choices were the best for the other seven. What bothered my the most about this activity was after everything was done and Prof McGuire said something along the lines of, “Now, do your choices reflect anything about how you or we view people as a society?” I didn’t think about that one bit while I was picking my three victims in the assignment. While I refuse to believe I would think about someone lesser for their age, health conditions, or anything else, this activity has shown me that I, without knowing, do think of things that way and would put healthier people on a higher platform.
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Kyle Barczak
As I read the excerpt from How Are We Hungry, I felt very confused. Why did this man feel as if he had something to be doing, at all times of the day? What’s the purpose of telling us that he isn’t able to settle on one task? Whatever that reason is, I never seemed to understand it. When I finally got to the part about the soldier, the line, “He saw the picture of the soldier’s body, now on the ground under the truck,” it implies as if there was a previous picture of said soldier in another location, as if he was guarding an area. I could imagine, though, why the man felt as if he was violated by the picture of the dead soldier. Perhaps this is the first image of a soldier of his own country that has been published in a public article; who wouldn’t have a moment of grieving seeing, for the first time, someone dead that would defend your country? I am surprised, though; that it took a picture of a dead soldier for the man to seem as if it had calmed him or kept his mind from running all over for things he could or should be doing. This man though, I wish there was some more information about him. Whether he had a family, if he had a medical condition, or anything along those lines, I really would enjoy knowing the reason behind why he is at a constant state of unease.
Eggers, Dave. “How Are We Hungry,” pgs 17-18. Splatter.writing101.net -
Kyle Barczak
Three Answers To Life
The question is simple; well one would think that. What do you live for? After asking this question, or thinking about it, everything that’s important to one person flies through their mind. Could it be their family, pets, money, or job? Or maybe it could be something as simple as an idea or a belief? For myself, it’s happiness. As cliché as that sounds, that is all I believe anyone in this world needs. The only problem with that is that many people think they need all these things to make them happy. Whether it’s money, a good job, nice cars, or a family, I don’t think that’s what will make one truly happy for many reasons.
What good is money? Sure it buys you everything to keep you comfortable; just little things like shelter, food, clothing, and other essentials. Alright, maybe I’m wrong about this one. You need money, but people today want more and more money. This is where money changes from letting you be happy and makes you stressed out. You’ll pick up a second or third job or put money to the side and trust an investor to take care of it. While this can go extremely well for you and you may be living far more than comfortable, the stress of working so much and possibly having a family will creep up on you, along with possible bills if you like to burn through your money. Last time I checked, stress is very far from happiness, so who would want that? That is, of course, unless you’re very well at managing money. In that case, I envy you.
What about if you need a family or children to be happy? Well, in the end, this also breaks down in to money. Can you handle the stress of new born children and all their expenses? Especially if you’re working a minimum wage job that isn’t offering insurance; can you afford the medical bills on top of the child? And that’s just the beginning of it. Your child, quite obviously, is going to grow up to be a teenager. Would you be able to afford to keep your teenager in a nice school and in tomorrow’s next “trendy fashion?” What it all breaks down to is money. Money can only get one so far in life, but when you can’t support the minimums and continue wanting things, you are going to dig yourself into a hole and this is going to take you far away from happiness.
When someone thinks of killing, there is rarely a positive side to the initial start of the conversation or argument. Not everyone thinks about the situation one was in at the time or why they chose to do something as extreme as killing someone. The reason behind that is because people will kill for just about anything. Defense, money, protecting their family, or any other thing you can think of. The probable reason behind that is because of how many people actually will murder another just for the sake of doing it. It can happen anywhere in the world or country. Even recently we had one person in the Chicago-Land area, Drew Peterson. Sure there are murders everywhere but I feel that people forget about it until there’s something close to home that happens. But maybe after asking people what they would kill for, someone might surprise you. Perhaps someone will answer with, “For the country.”
Being an American, I am extremely proud of the country that I live in. But after thinking about it, it’s not just the country. It’s our freedoms in this country. Our ability to have choices in everything we do. We can have small businesses rise to become number one companies across the world, practice every religion under the sky and create our own, have our own beliefs in the political system or choose to not take part in our government. You can’t find anything like this anywhere else. While we may be slowly ending the country, or the world, with pollution and things like that, we still have many places that are breathe taking to visit; for the time being. Places like Vegas, Chicago, New York, Denver, the Grand Canyon, Boston, just to name a few. Sure there may be places with much more natural beauty in the world, but with all of our freedoms and diversity, one can find a spot they’re more than content with in the United States and be at peace with their surroundings. Why would anyone want to take over a country with so much beauty and so many choices? Besides, I doubt anyone would enjoy inheriting our debt. What I’m trying to get at is that I would kill for this country, if that’s what it took. Someone who is determined to actually attack the United States obviously hasn’t experienced the beauty and everything that this one of a kind country has to offer.
And of course, the opposite of what would you kill for; what would you die for? One could easily guess that all the answers for the previous questions could be the exact same. Happiness, family, the country; anything really works for this question. Even a belief or a conscious thought or moral is more than an outstanding reason to die. If someone really believes in something, they’ll stand for it until the very last second. The problem with this though is whether or not people would accept what you died for because everyone has their own opinions or are very narrow minded and refuse to see why you thought it was that important.
I fall into the category or having the same answer for a previous question. Daniel Webster once said, “I shall know but one country. The ends I aim at shall be my countries, my God’s and Truth’s. I was born an American; I live an American; I shall die an American.” As I would kill for this country, I would die to protect this country, and I would be honored to die as a man in uniform protecting this country. While I am a soldier, and as it is stated in the soldiers’ creed, “I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.” I am ready at all times to do my part for this country and possibly sacrifice my life for it so the citizens of America can continue living in freedom.
One may ask why I say, “my part for this country.” This goes back to ones morals and what one believes in. My family has had 3 generations now that has served in the Military, each of us in different branches. I feel that I am doing my part as an American citizen to protect the country as those before me have and those in the future will. To me, it’s the biggest form of commitment and just one of many ways to say, “Thank You” to veterans of every war and to those families who have had soldiers, marines, sailors, or airmen in their family at any point in time. This isn’t just yours or my country; we all have to do a part. Whether it is beginning to recycle and extent the longevity of the country for future generations or to protect the country from those who wish to do harm, I believe everyone has to give back to the country in some sort of way.
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Thomas Vasquez
Reading this paper I really didn’t know what to expect because there is so many different routes a person could take with this. Your paper is well structured in my eyes but there are still some things I would change. When you first start out your paper you talk about how you live for happiness and then two seconds later you are talking about money and keep talking about it for the next paragraph. I understand what you were trying to say about the money making people happy but I feel as the reader you should work more on your live section of this assignment and fix it a little. I am not saying get rid of the money part but maybe shorten it and maybe talk more about what makes you happy or how happiness is what you live for and if possible give a real life example.
The kill part of your paper is really good with only a couple things I think you should change. I was really confused when I was first reading it because I thought you were just talking about what others kill for then you started talking about our country and I started to think you were just rambling but then you finally said that you would kill for our country. What I am trying to say is maybe you should restructure that part of the essay possibly start with mentioning that you would kill for our country and how you are in the military then it helps the reader know what to expect when reading that part of the paper.
The die part is perfectly fine because it makes sense knowing that you would die for our country especially since you are in the military making me personally feel like I got to know you better. I like how you added the quote because it goes with what you are trying to get at and it makes me realize that you are a person that really does care for your country and love being in the military. This part of your paper even though it is the shortest I feel like it is the best because sure it’s short but it gets your point across.
My final words on your paper is that It is a really good paper with not to many things done wrong maybe if you just restructure some of the paragraphs or make couple of changes it will be a great paper. Saying that I see this paper having tons of potential if you just make some minor changes. I like how at the end you talked about the military and how it’s been a family thing that you have kind of grown up with. I also feel that your conclusion to the paper is very well and you sum it up answering all the questions and making the reader know that you really care for our country. Now I know I am not a great writer myself and probably have a ton of things wrong just in this peer review but I hope you will at least take a couple of these things into account and I really did enjoy reading this paper.
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Kyle Barczak
Thomas, thank you for reviewing my paper. I couldn’t agree with you more about having to restructure much of my paper. I’ll be honest in saying I pushed it off and it clearly shows. I greatly appreciate your input and will be using my resources and time to improve on this paper. Once again, thank you.
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Maura Bilek
I really enjoyed reading your piece, mainly because it was so full of originality, starting off with a title that stood out from others, as well your style of writing. I like that you followed the teacher’s advice and strayed away from the standard five paragraph essay format. I hate how it’s been engrained into our heads since elementary school, so we feel like when we go to write a paper it’s our only option. I used it while writing my draft because I felt more comfortable organizing my thoughts in that fashion, but when I read yours I wished I would have followed a different or original style like yours. Not only did it make the piece more interesting to read, I can tell you actually enjoyed writing it that way as well. Your piece was unique in many different ways, especially in the way you answered. Upon deciding what you live for, you took an answer that many others shared (happiness) but explained the pros and cons of what people today determine their happiness by. I agree that money is a necessary evil, and only stresses people out whether they have too much or too little of it. Greed consumes people and blinds them from what happiness really is and I’m glad you established that in the points you made. Another thing that stuck out to me about your style was the way you kept asking questions. That’s one thing I feel like English teachers have wrongly advised people from straying away from and I always had difficulty understanding why. Strong writing like yours shows that asking your reader questions can contribute to making the piece very personal and conversational, which makes it more enjoyable for anyone. It was cool that you not only inquired about your own life, you insisted your readers do the same. You elaborated on each answer in so much detail and with many examples which shows you are a very skilled writer! You also opened up every paragraph in an interesting way rather than just stating, “I would live for _____ “ or “I would die for ____ because….” Adding onto your answer about what you would kill for, I agree that people forget about how often acts of murder occur until they happen close to home. Recently, three kids from the high school I graduated from conspired together to rob and kill this kid’s parents and rob them. Even though I didn’t know them personally, it hit me so hard because it happened right down the street from me. It was a reminder of how messed up the world can be. Coincidentally, one of the people involved in the killings has the same lawyer as Drew Peterson. Anyway, I enjoyed your noble answer after explaining how it’s never good to kill for anything or anyone. I agree that our country is one of the few things truly worth it, and it was cool to learn about your family’s military history and such, because it showed me how much this country means to you. You also acknowledged in your piece the fact that there is still a lot going on in the world, and used pollution for an example. It’s very awesome that you don’t let your knowledge of what’s wrong in the world we live in today prevent you for standing up for your country, which sadly I feel like a lot of people do. We shouldn’t lose faith in our country because of the chaotic generation we live in. All in all, you did an excellent job writing this and I’d have to say it was the strongest out of the three I reviewed.
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Kyle Barczak
Maura, thanks a lot for reviewing my paper. Although yours really contradicted what Thomas had to say, I really liked all the positive feedback you have given me. One thing I’ll definitely be doing is having more people read it, whether it’s family or the writing center, and hope they think the same thing you did.
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Barbara Bzdyk
Your paper was enjoyable to read. It flowed really well and I thought you added personality to it. The way you wrote the paper was interesting and I definitely made it more appealing to read. I like how you used questions in your paper and answered them. Although, I like reading it, I felt like it needed to be more organized. I feel like you maybe you jumped from one idea to another really quickly. When it came to the paragraph about killing, I feel like you talked more about other people other than yourself. Maybe you should add more about details about your opinion. I really liked how you talked about the military when it came to what you would die for. I think it really brought out originally. Another thing I noticed about your writing is how you used questions. Adding these questions into the paper made it feels like you were speaking to the reader, which made it more appealing to read. Although, questions aren’t usually used in papers, I feel like the way you used them brought a sense of friendliness and probably made it less boring. To me it seems like you liked writing this paper and you have strong beliefs/opinions. Reading your paper, I defiantly feel like you know what you would live/kill/die for. You seem like a really good writer, because you used example and did a good job at explaining why you feel a certain way.
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Javier Calderon, and 
Maura Bilek are discussing. 
Melissa Castillo is discussing. 
Kyle Barczak, and 
Barbara Bzdyk, 
Maura Bilek 10:26 am on April 19, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Kyle, I think this was a great start- a little bit of editing & perfecting will make it awesome. To start off, I noticed right away the introduction paragraph was a little confusing and unfoucused; not sure if it’s necesary to include details about Share Your Soles if you weren’t able to do that. I think a little bit more of explaining of how your group came together to decide on a cause you all wanted to take action in would make it more interesting for the readers. Going onto the second paragraph, it looked like you had a lot of facts you need to cite resources for- ” William, Catherine, and Eva Booth had founded the organization back in 1865 in London. ” I see you do explain your group’s motive more in that paragraph; it seemed like some of that belonged in the introduction. I enjoyed your very personal, relatable narrative voice and it helped add interest. I agree that the volunteer work should be available to all- not just court ordered. Why anyone would ever turn down extra hands willing to contribute to a good cause, I do not understand. Being in the army, I understand your concerns and I’m glad you gave your insight about it. You have a lot of information in here about the various organizations your group looked into; it sounds like you really know your stuff, but be careful and make sure to use citations when required. I recently found out even rewording can be plagarism, because you always have to give some sort of credit to the author. I can tell you were very passionate and excited about working with salvation army and I’m sorrry you weren’t able to experience it. However, it sounds like you chose a great alternative that will benefit your service learning experience just as much, I hope! I’m glad you included information about all the different kinds of programs they enforce to help those in need. I would have liked to have seen a bit more background information or history about the parish. I think it would add more purpose to devote more explanation of the organization you decided on in the end rather than the ones you weren’t able to work with, though I understand your disappointment! I hope it is a great experience for you; I’m sure you will have a lot more to add after going there and experiencing it. Good job!
Javier Calderon 10:59 pm on April 24, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I like this paper because it is straight forward and very informative. I did not get to attend the share your soles organization because I attended the feed my starving children organization but I did hear that share your soles is a very giving and efficient organization. I wanted to use the same organization I went to earlier this semester seeing how me and my group are doing our project on starvation and are working with a food pantry. I too had already thought of many ideas and possible visiting days to the organization but ended up being disappointed when told we could not attend an organization we had already visited before. I have never volunteered for the Salvation Army but have known people who have. You give a lot of interesting facts in your paper about the Salvation Army and all the additional things they do. I had no idea it goes back all the way to the 1800s in London. I never really stop to think were the organization had originated from. I was surprised to learn that the family who started the organization went around recruiting and converting thieves, prostitutes, gamblers, and drunkards. I would have thought that the people in the organizations were all just volunteers looking to help out with good deeds. I think your group’s idea of setting up collection bins around specific places was a good idea I am sure you would have gotten a good amount of donations. And along with the donations your group’s efforts would have stood out. Even though me and my group had a hard time in finding organizations that would take us in for volunteer work. I am still surprised that you could not volunteer at the Salvation Army just because you needed some kind of certificate of approval or having to need a court order to volunteer. I also think it is great to know that the Salvation Army goes around visiting the sick and the lonely in the hospitals, nursing homes, and correctional institutions. I had no idea how big and efficient the Salvation Army is. It is good to know that there are great organizations like these. It is real let down not being able to work with this organization but at least you got some interesting info across to your readers about this great organization. Knowing all this about the organization makes me want to find a way to volunteer for them sometime in the future. I am glad to read that you were finally able to find an organization to work with because I also felt the pressure and urgency of having to find an organization that would take in my group for volunteer work. the St. Vincent de Paul parish has something good going with that thrift store because they are able to use all of the money they make out of the sales to help families that are in current need of help. It is impressive to know that this church is able to use all of its earnings from these sales in many things like the ones you state in your paper. I am sure your experience there will be great.