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For this weeks journal entry I decided to…
For this weeks journal entry, I decided to talk about Tuesday’s Act Out program. We had to meet with everyone in the library with our group members and poster boards ready to be asked questions and to help people understand why it is important to help these organizations. There were more people there than I thought there would be. Posters about this program were up all around the school so people were informed about it going on. There were a lot of groups there to show they cared about their organization and to help others. Our group did Animal Cruelty. We actually had a number of people ask multiple important questions, which I thought was a good thing. We had a bunch of pictures on our poster boards with information and the stories of each of our group members. Everyone thought that the pictures on there were horrible because some of them were of the animals that were abused. I think those pictures needed to be put on there because people need to see what others are capable of doing to innocent animals. A lot of people asked where our organization was located so they could volunteer and help out these animals. A number of people also asked how our experience was while working there. Overall, I had a really good time because I know that I helped out just a little bit with saving these animals’ lives. Which is an incredible feeling. It was a wonderful feeling knowing that my group members and I could help others understand more about what was going on in the world of animal cruelty and I’m glad to know that showing what we knew and the pictures of these animals, made some people want to go there and help as well. They need as much help as they can get.
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Katie Cappello
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Katie Cappello
For this weeks journal entry i decided to write about chapter a section in Why White Rice, titled “Be Confident, Not a Know-It-All” by Mike McGuire. I like how in this article our professor talks about his family, and gives some background information to his life. Up until reading this article, i did not know that he even had a child. While reading this article i noticed that the whole time i was thinking to myself. “Do i really know the difference between confidence and arrogance?” I thought i did until i finished reading this. Everything that the professor was writing makes complete sense and i know realize that most people write with arrogance and not confidence. He explains that writers are over confident in their work that they are doing, that they actually become ignorant and as he would say “cocky”. I did not notice that in papers until after he pointed that out to me. The main thing that i like about this article is how it tells a story within a story. He starts to explain a story about “Joe” and his writing throughout the semester, and specifically one one certain paper. In Joe’s paper he admitted that he had no idea what the writer was talking about, after he went on and on in his paper about pointless and useless information. Then Joe turned in a second draft and made his writing much different. He became a 6 year old “know-it-all” throwing a tantrum just like a child. Professor’s last sentence in the article was my favorite, now go to your room young man.
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Katie Cappello
Animal Cruelty.
For community service, we were supposed to go to the animal shelter to try to help out with anything they needed help with. We still haven’t gone to do it yet because they all want us to sign a commitment contract for six months, which isn’t what we all want to do. It doesn’t fit our schedule. Helping out with animals is one of the things that I would love to do in my free time because I know that I could save one of their lives without even doing much work. Helping clean cages, feeding them, and giving them baths is a pretty easy thing to do so, why not? Five hundred animals die every day due to animal cruelty. How could you do such a thing to a harmless animal. People these days have no heart. You don’t have to do very much to help out an animal. You can go to your local animal shelter and volunteer to do some work there to help them out since they have a lot of animals waiting to be adopted, be kind to animals, and if you have an animal at your home, just take care of it.
Going to your local shelter to volunteer to help the animals waiting to be adopted is a very easy thing to do. I’ve been to an animal shelter before and they really don’t ask for that much. All you really have to do is clean cages, feed the animals, wash them, and take care of them. The last time that I went to a shelter, I went with one of my best friends who is a huge animal lover. We checked out all of the animals that were there, cats and dogs, and came upon one of the boy kittens looking for a home. He was still younger, but we noticed that there was something wrong with his eye. We were talking to one of the volunteers who knew a lot about the kitten, and she told us that he recently had surgery on his eye and can’t really play with the other kittens. We took him out and played with him for a little bit, he seemed so happy. But knowing that he has surgery on his eye, making his appearance look a little scary, it was going to be hard for him to find a home. I am an animal lover and I know that people who love animals as much as I do would take him in a heartbeat. My family adopted a kitten from a shelter when I was little and she grew to be my best friend. She recently passed away but knowing that I saved her life, made me feel great.
Even if you don’t have any animals of your own, always be kind to them. I always see animals on the street, homeless. Some that I see on a daily basis live in a bad area, don’t have anyone to take care of them. Some people would be kind enough to leave food outside for them or give them a simple shelter to stay in when its cold outside. But I’ve tried to approach these cats before and all they do is run away. They’re obviously scared. Some people/kids out there don’t care about animals and throw things at them to scare them away. That causes them to be scared of everything that approaches them, which isn’t good. If someone wanted to take in that animal, there’d be no way to catch them. Knowing that there are people out there that would try to hurt an animal by throwing things at them, makes me sick.
Having an animal at home isn’t much work. Why buy an animal if you don’t know how to take care of it? Although animals can be very expensive, it’s worth it if they’re your best friend. My family recently bought a puppy and she’s the most playful thing I’ve seen. Seeing how happy she is when she plays with her toys makes me feel like a good owner. That’s all that pets need, love and things to play with. Is it that hard? No. I’ve always been a pet owner so it may be a little easier for me than for a lot of people, but loving the animal you have makes everything that much easier. Having an animal is just like having a kid. You have to take them to the doctor when they’re sick, feed them when they’re hungry, train them how to use the bathroom the right way, keep them clean, and most importantly, show them that you love them. That really isn’t asking for much if you already have kids. Although, training an animal is much harder than training a human being.
Even though we haven’t done our community service yet, I know that there are so many animals every day being killed due to animal cruelty. All I ask for is for people to take care of their own animals and be kind to the ones that are homeless or the ones in the shelters waiting for someone to pick them up and take them home. Not all families that bring home animals treat them the right way. So, why would you even buy one? It makes no sense to me. But knowing that there are people that are like that out in this world makes me sick and I would do anything to stop them if I could. To the people who read this short paper, all I’m asking for is to reach out to people and teach them the right way to treat animals. Some animals are beaten so badly, that they never want to be around humans ever. They’re scared all the time and don’t put themselves in normal situations that other dogs do. It’s unbelievable that people are that cruel to hurt these animals in such away to ruin their lives forever. Please help out your community’s animals!
Just a little side note, every shelter is looking for people to help them. Why not try it out? Helping animals is a very good thing to get into especially if you’re an animal lover. It’s not very hard to do, although some do make you sign a commitment for how ever many months they want you to help them out. Look for a place near your home that way it helps you out a little bit. Trust me, helping out animals will help you be a better person in life. It’s not a huge commitment to help an innocent little animal out.
To be continued…
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Katie Cappello
This weeks journal entry I’m going to talk…
This weeks journal entry, I’m going to talk about our discussion in class last week on arguing. I think without arguing, we wouldn’t get anywhere in life. People now a days argue about absolutely anything and everything. Arguing is what makes everything interesting. Getting into a fight with someone about something you stand up for, makes it all the better. Talking over people, shouting, gestures, and rambling on may be the wrong thing to do but there’s no wrong way to argue. We talked about this subject in class and I feel it was the right thing to talk about at our age because I think we are the ones that fight with each other the most. We had to make a list from one to ten about what we feel is important about what goes on during an argument. The one I thought was most important was knowing background information about what you’re fighting about. If you are fighting with someone and don’t even know a thing about what you’re fighting about, you’re just making yourself look stupid. Fighting for something you stand up for or know a lot about makes you look like the bigger, smarter person. Also, when someone is fighting, I think getting straight to the point is something important too. Rambling on during a fight just drags it out and makes it boring. I feel that without argument in this world, some people/businesses would get no where in life. I also think that talking about this during class made people realize that what they do during an argument can make them either look really stupid or really smart.
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Prof McGuire
I like your thoughts here, Katie, but keep in mind that the weekly journal entries need to be in response to a source, and that source needs to be cited.
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Katie Cappello
Journal Entry.
In class on Tuesday, we watched a video of President Obama’s speech. There were only two artists in the video that I knew. Will. I. Am and Nicole Scherzinger. I thought the video was creative but I couldn’t really understand what they were saying. Parts of it was Obama saying his speech and the other parts were of the artists putting his words into song lyrics. I thought it was very meaningful because it shows that the United States is capable of doing anything. By saying “Yes we can” a million times in his speech, makes people of the US stay positive with everything going on around the world. Obama’s words were very wise and he showed that he was very dedicated in what he does for our country. He cares about what the peoplem of the US think of him and I think that is very important. In order to be president, you need to make the right decisions and convince people that you will stay to your word. With that video, Will. I. Am proved to everyone that Obama was going to stay true to his word by saying “Yes we can”. The only bad thing I thought about the video is that since everyone was singing at the same time, it was very hard to understand. I also liked fact that he put mixed artists in there. Some were country, some were rap and some were people I have never even heard of. Overall, I thought that video was very inspirational and well put together.
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Prof McGuire
citation?
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Katie Cappello
A Critical Reflection of Service.
For the community service that we had to do for class, I chose to do Share Your Soles. I have never really thought of how big of a deal it was the people have shoes on their feet, until now. It’s crazy to think that millions of people around the world don’t even have shoes in their household to walk around in. They use cardboard as floors and ceilings, which can get very dirty and can cause infections to their feet. The founder of Share Your Soles is amazing at what she does. On her way home from a fundraiser walk, she was sitting next to an orthopedic surgeon. They started talking about what she said, these people running in the fundraiser with no shoes on having tar on their feet, and he said he was the person to cut off their feet because of infections. After hearing that, she got everything together, talked to some people, and started this organization that is now huge. The wear house we were in wasn’t very clean or organized but they had a million shoes sprawled out on the floor to be packaged and sent away to different countries around the world. I’ve never seen anything like it. It amazes me what one person can do to save another. The wear house was pretty cold and we had to do a lot of bending over to pick up the shoes from the ground and put them where they belonged. Even though it was hard work, knowing that you’re about to save someone life makes it so much better. There were shoes in so many different sections. Mens, woman’s, children’s, boots, sandals, gym shoes, every kind of shoe out there was in this wear house. The shoes that were in great shape and too fancy to be worn to do work in different countries, were sold in the shoe sale that the founder has only a few times a year. We had to find the best looking shoes, put a sticker of their size on the bottom and put them where they belonged. This was a lot of work. Also, from being on the ground for such time, made your hands and pants dirty. Thats the downside of being in a wear house for three hours working with shoes. There was only three people that worked there, all the rest were volunteers, which I thought was crazy. One of which was only hired about a week before we went to volunteer. Before we started working, we watched a couple of videos on how the foundation came about and the facts of how many people were suffering. After watching those videos, it really made me realize how fortunate I am to have a roof over my head and a pair of shoes to wear. People in countries all over the world were putting tar on their feet to keep them from hurting and at least make them feel like they were wearing shoes.
I couldn’t really say as to why these people don’t have shoes besides the fact that they don’t have any money and don’t really have the supply of shoes they need. They definitely don’t live in a world like we do. I haven’t really heard anything like this going on in other countries. What I learned from watching those videos before we started was that they actually donate to some of the poor parts of Chicago. That absolutely stunned me. I could’t believe it. I never would have thought that there were parts of Chicago that were so deep in poverty. It’s really sad to hear that people in your own state are having the same problem as the people in different countries are. Unfortunately, theres not really much that we can do. Thankfully, Share Your Soles is a really dedicated organization and helps as many people as they can.
I really don’t think there would be any problems with the organization itself, just the fact that they don’t allow some shoes to be brought over seas. For example, as we were unpacking the shoes to be put in the spots they belonged to, we came across a few pairs of crocs. I asked one of the people that worked there where they would go since they don’t have an exact category and he said to throw them away because they don’t bring those to other countries. I could’t tell you how mad that made me, even though I was new into this organization. I thought, as long as the shoes were in good condition, they would be allowed to be boxed and shipped to these countries. These crocs were in perfect condition, some even with the tags on them..just to be thrown away. That’s horrible. The only think I could really say that could be done to change this situation would be to send over good conditioned shoes and throw away the bad ones. Crocs or whatever other shoes there are that are in good condition, should and definitely need to be sent over seas to help these people. They wouldn’t care what the shoes looked like, as long as they had a pair of their own. I think from doing these services, it will definitely change my future outlook on things. Knowing that my family takes good care of me putting a roof over my head, buying me clothes, and giving me shoes to wear, makes me thankful for everything that I have. I also think that now that I know more about this organization, and know where it’s located, I will definitely donate the shoes that I no longer use. Knowing that I can help someone else out, makes my life a whole lot easier. I believe that having the government know about this organization and having them know/learn about what is going on in other countries, will make them support this organization and definitely make it larger than it already is. It could definitely change the world. If they were to donate money or even their shoes, that would make the selection much better for these people looking for support on their feet. Since they don’t have anything, they’ll take anything they can get. Why not donate? I think the future can go both ways. Good, by getting more people associated with this organization helping it get bigger would help these helpless people so much more. Bad, by people not caring about what goes on around the world making them not donate anything to help others. Knowing that there is people out there that are like that, makes me sick. I know not all people have the same outlook on things, but how could you not feel good about yourself after helping out helpless people that can’t change a thing about their life because of poverty. That really bothers me. A lot of things can be done. Putting the word out can help out a lot. I didn’t even know much about this organization until coming into the COM 102 class. Showing people the facts about what goes on around the world can definitely change a lot of things. People will start donating and getting involved. As dumb as it sounds, I also think getting radio stations involved in this could make a HUGE difference. People listening to their favorite radio stations, hearing about how they are going out and helping this organization will definitely increase the amount of members. The little things that could get out, could save these people. I’m thankful to be one of the people that got to learn about what goes on in these countries and to learn more about this organization.
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Corey Thiesse
Katie C.
The first thing that I saw that I thought could be fixed in your paper was that you were kind of just recounting the events of the day that occurred. If you look a little more closely at the sheet our teacher handed out to us you would have noticed that he said not to just make “diary like” entries. Although, I know where you are coming from because there was not much to elaborate on. I would say just try to keep it a little more interesting instead of just telling the audience what you did. You could possibly give a little more insight as to how you are feeling on the subject and add some good vocabulary words that really help to get your point across. I found myself kind of disagreeing on a few things that you stated. I am not trying to criticize your points or anything like that. When you said that the warehouse was unorganized and dirty I did not exactly see why you said that. I can agree with the dirty part a little bit, but come on, it is a warehouse. It’s almost impossible to constantly keep those things clean. For the unorganized part I also disagree because i felt everything was fairly organized. The shoes were all put in boxes and the ones that were not were lined up on the floor in an orderly fashion. One other thing i felt i noticed in your paper was that it seemed to me like you were rambling a little bit. It was like you were trying to meet the word requirement. Everyone tries to make the word requirement, but just do not make it as obvious next time. You had a few redundant points and kind of repeated yourself a little bit, but nothing too bad. You do give some good examples on how to help this organization by creating an ad on the radio and spreading the word by mouth. I like the part in your writing when you referred to the man Mona Purdy met while in on of those countries. He was the surgeon that cut off the legs of peoples who had infected feet and things of that nature. This was a strong point in your paper because you reflected well on it and i was able to see some emotion in it. I also like in your conclusion how you said that you were going to keep donating since you know where it is now. You gave a very positive and outgoing response in the conclusion and it was very satisfying to read. If i was someone who had not been to the share your soles event yet, you would have definitely inspired me! Overall, i think you have a good paper here that just needs some minor tweaks. If you follow some of what i said up top and review it a little yourself i think you should be just fine!
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Julian Operana
Katie Cappello
I like how you started the essay by saying how people need shoes to live and how it causes infections on your feet, when you don’t have shoes on. “They use cardboard as floors and ceilings, which can get very dirty and can cause infections to their feet.” I like how you explained it well by saying “There were shoes in so many different sections. Mens, woman’s, children’s, boots, sandals, gym shoes, every kind of shoe out there was in this wear house. The shoes that were in great shape and too fancy to be worn to do work in different countries, were sold in the shoe sale that the founder has only a few times a year.” I felt that the essay was really interesting to read and that you went into detail with most of the writing. I thought it was nice to see that the share your soles event had a immediate impact. “Even though it was hard work, knowing that you’re about to save someone life makes it so much better. It amazes me what one person can do to save another.” I like how you explained how you didn’t really know on why other countries didn’t have the shoes. “I couldn’t really say as to why these people don’t have shoes besides the fact that they don’t have any money and don’t really have the supply of shoes they need. They definitely don’t live in a world like we do. I haven’t really heard anything like this going on in other countries. What I learned from watching those videos before we started was that they actually donate to some of the poor parts of Chicago. That absolutely stunned me.” You really wrote a lot on how this share your soles event helped you and how it became really life changing on how you looked at things. I felt that you could of wrote a little more on how it affected you personally. At some points you sort of repeated yourself. I like how you explained the situation with the shoes and their conditions of the shoes. “I thought, as long as the shoes were in good condition, they would be allowed to be boxed and shipped to these countries. These crocs were in perfect condition, some even with the tags on them..just to be thrown away. That’s horrible. The only think I could really say that could be done to change this situation would be to send over good conditioned shoes and throw away the bad ones. Crocs or whatever other shoes there are that are in good condition, should and definitely need to be sent over seas to help these people.” The essay is typed and easy to read. The essay was very great to read. The beginning is clear and well defined. The sentences flow smoothly and clearly from paragraph to paragraph. I felt that you worked hard on this essay and you explained the whole essay.
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Jonte Spane
This paper you typed was greatly thought of because I too chose the community service event share your soles. The thought of it being a given rather than a requirement is very interesting because many people do not pay any attention towards it. Being a participant of this organization shows how much of a giving person you are. Most people only participate in a community service event for a school related requirement or court related incident but regardless of the reason it is still a good service to their community. Being of good service to the community is something not many people during this present day pay to much attention. Most people over look many of the great services that are taken for granted. “I couldn’t really say as to why these people don’t have shoes besides the fact that they don’t have any money and don’t really have the supply of shoes they need. They definitely don’t live in a world like we do. I haven’t really heard anything like this going on in other countries.” This quote also showed that you too understood there are less fortunate in our world today that we do not know the reason for their unfortunate life. Many people do not try and find a way to help others simply because they do not know the reason they are considering to help the unfortunate. Helping the unfortunate is something many people do not take pride in but there are those that do and make a life career out of it. “The founder of Share Your Soles is amazing at what she does.” This quote was very understandable to me and should be to those that are familiar with the share your soles organization. The person you are referring to is Mona and she is living example of one of those people that have made a life career out of looking out for the necessities for those in great need. She inspire many to want to give at least a pair of shoes for the cause and she really showed great drive, diligence, and care when she came out of her pocket for the shoes to be shipped when she first started the company. By Mona doing such great of a deed it set the mission statement for the share your soles organization. “Crocs or whatever other shoes there are that are in good condition, should and definitely need to be sent over seas to help these people. They wouldn’t care what the shoes looked like, as long as they had a pair of their own. I think from doing these services, it will definitely change my future outlook on things.” I also agree those crocs or whatever shoes in well enough condition for a person to walk should have been sent wherever shoes are in need. It too made me upset to see the workers say throw them out because of whatever reason they had. “I could not tell you how mad that made me, even though I was new into this organization.” This quote was also relatable to me because I thought the share your soles organization would take any and every pair of well kept shoes. In conclusion, this was well designed to show how much of a dedicated service you can be to a community.
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Katie Cappello
I recently read an article called “Lottery winner on food stamps even after $1 million jackpot” and was completely disgusted. Amanda Clayton said “I thought that they would cut me off, but since they didn’t, I thought maybe it was ok because I’m not working.” Amanda still uses her food stamps even though she recently won the $1 million in the Michigan state lottery. This absolutely gets me so angry, I can’t even explain. This article also said that Amanda owns two houses and a new car and also gets $200 a month in food stamps. That is unreal. I completely agree with what sale zorn (state republican rep) said, “public assistance should be given to those who are in need of public assistance, not those who have found riches.” I believe that people who have food stamps, need them. The few people that I see that have them don’t even look like they need them. I work retail, so I see it all the time. What people do isn’t right & they take advantage of the government..I think that the people that actually need it, are the ones that should get it. End of story
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Justyna Matyjaszczyk
I seen the story on the news tonight and it totally makes me sick too. She mentioned, she thought the government would cut her off, that tells me she knew it was wrong to keep collecting welfare after her lotto winnings. Also I believe she was going to keep milking the government for as long as she could. There is a big problem with the way our system works as far as welfare. I heard some states were beginning to drug test welfare applicants and I think that is the greatest thing I’ve heard. If we get drug tested to better ourselves by getting a job then why not drug test people who apply for welfare, food stamps and links cards. If you are in a position where you need government assistance you are obviously in a bad situation and deserve help. I don’t think it is fair for people to work their ass off and support people through welfare if they chose to abuse the system and use drugs rather than better themselves.
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Katie Cappello
Letter To Editor.
Dear Editor,
Bullying has gotten worse and worse in the past few years and I believe people aren’t doing all that they need to do to put a stop to it. Although, people are becoming more independent with how they go about life, they aren’t paying enough attention to what their kids are doing after school. It sounds bad to say but these kids need to be supervised no matter how old they are. Parents need to realize that no matter what neighborhood they live in, crime can happen anywhere. I was reading an article about how two girls met up to fight each other over a boy that they liked. These girls were ten years old. Let’s be real, do you really think these girls even know what liking a boy really is? Its kind of ridiculous how girls this young are fighting over something that is so irrelevant to their life, especially at this age. One of the girls is now dead because of this fight. Bullying is getting out of our hands now a days. Instead of making this a boring speech in schools, make it more fun. Do it to make these students understand that bullying is something that makes people want to kill them selves, worst case scenario. My brother has been bullied before. Knowing the looks on his face when he came killed me inside because I knew I could do nothing but tell him to not even think about it. It irks me to know that kids at his age are already starting to pick on others. But now, my brother is friends with everyone..so in the end, what was the point? There isn’t one. Society has changed so much and I’m really hoping people start to realize how people feel when they are being bullied or made fun of. Just put yourself in their shoes.
-Katie Cappello
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Corey Thiesse
So your topic is obviously bullying and it is clearly stated. I think you need to be more specific as to what kind of bullying is going on and what you want to focus on, because you make it kind of general. The example you gave is just talking about violence in my point of view. I think bullying is when an individual picks on another individual without the consent of the one being bullied. Your example sounds more like a violent children kind of topic. I mean it gets the point across and all, but i just do not think it is that accurate. It does hook the reader in though, because you say that one of the girls dies after they fight. Whenever emotionally ties are made with the reader, it is a good thing because then they become more interested, and that is what we want for this particular project since we are trying to get these published. I like how you presented the new idea to give different kind of speeches and ways to stop bullying in school instead of the boring speeches they give. i do think that saying “if you bully, kids will want to kill themsleves”. I think this is a tad too radical, but it does have truth behind it. Many kids do think of suicide as an option out of bullying and many kids take that route. Bullying starts at an early age in the class room, so telling these kids this i do not think would be the best idea. Another strong part of this piece of writing is when you say that you’re brother has been bullied before. This means you are able to relate to the subject matter more, instead of trying to relate as an outsider. I also like the vocabulary word you used, irks. You have a good paper here to work with, but it needs to be tweaked a little more. The paper has good organization and punctuation. You missed a few vocabulary words here and there, but nothing too major. The biggest part of you’re paper i think you need to work on is specifying what kind of bullying you are worried about. Do not make it general. Try to make it more about one type of bullying, for instance cyber bullying or something along those lines. This letter is strong and will grab the editor’s attention because you use good emotional attachments to hook the reader in and really give them that sense of feeling to do something about this problem at hand. You could maybe go into more detail about how to present bullying to kids in a more proactive way so they will stop doing this. Keep up the good work and follow some of my ideas i presented to you to help fix the paper. A few tweaks and about 20 minutes of re-reading will definitely help.
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Julian Operana
Katie Cappello
Your first sentence was really the main point of the topic in which you said. “Bullying has gotten worse and worse in the past few years and I believe people aren’t doing all that they need to do to put a stop to it.” I thought you put your main point directly in the first sentence which was good. I also do believe that people aren’t doing all they need to do to put a stop to bullying. You do a good thing explaining bullying and people wanting to be independent well. For example, “Although, people are becoming more independent with how they go about life, they aren’t paying enough attention to what their kids are doing after school. It sounds bad to say but these kids need to be supervised no matter how old they are.” I also liked how you compared crime to bullying by saying that parents need to focus on what goes on in their neighborhood. “Parents need to realize that no matter what neighborhood they live in, crime can happen anywhere.” I felt the example you gave about the two girls fighting over a boy was a great example. 10 year old’s fighting over relationships is something that should not be happening. I thought it was crazy to find out that one of them died after this fight. “I was reading an article about how two girls met up to fight each other over a boy that they liked. These girls were ten years old. Let’s be real, do you really think these girls even know what liking a boy really is? Its kind of ridiculous how girls this young are fighting over something that is so irrelevant to their life, especially at this age. One of the girls is now dead because of this fight.” I liked how you put personal experiences with your brother in the story. Telling the editor that you have someone you know that was bullied and you wanna do something about it because it was someone so close to you. “My brother has been bullied before. Knowing the looks on his face when he came killed me inside because I knew I could do nothing but tell him to not even think about it.”
I thought this letter was really good just needs some adjustments to it. I would talk more about the 10 year old’s family because you first talk about family then go on a explain the 10 year old’s fighting over a boy. I saw no grammatical errors in the paper but I would re-read it again. I felt that you convinced the editor enough to write about your topic. I thought you explained your points well I would just connect all your points together. It needs to sound a little more free flowing from topic to topic. I also think that you should focus on how bullying affected your brother’s life. It you would go a little more into detail it would make the letter more emotional from your point of view. Other than that it was a good paper.
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Jonte Spane
“Bullying has gotten worse and worse in the past few years and I believe people aren’t doing all that they need to do to put a stop to it.” This quote was picked out because it stands out greatly. Most people don’t know bullying is still occurring in today’s society so they do not think to try and prevent it from occurring. “Although, people are becoming more independent with how they go about life, they aren’t paying enough attention to what their kids are doing after school. It sounds bad to say but these kids need to be supervised no matter how old they are. Parents need to realize that no matter what neighborhood they live in, crime can happen anywhere.” This is true because life has changed so much and students do not like to feel intimidated or let alone tell their parents they are being taken advantage of. “I was reading an article about how two girls met up to fight each other over a boy that they liked.” This type of scenario happens almost all the time and I am sure mostly everyone in this world has heard of some type of occurrence of this sort. Having a child that is being taken advantage of is sometimes hard to have knowledge of because most parents do not question their children about that topic. Some parents believe there is no way for their children to be taken advantage because their child puts on a tough outer appearance around them. Children put on a tough outer appearance around the parents because many parents beat their children if they find out they are letting someone take advantage of them. The children that put on that tough outer shell around their parents are just simply trying to avoid being beaten are talked down upon. Some parents call their children punks, chumps, or sometimes even called out their gender. These types of behaviors are hard to deal with for children because they not only have to try and avoid the outside person that is taking advantage of them but they have to try and pretend to be tough around their parents to avoid any other mistreatment of themselves. “My brother has been bullied before. Knowing the looks on his face when he came killed me inside because I knew I could do nothing but tell him to not even think about it. It irks me to know that kids at his age are already starting to pick on others. But now, my brother is friends with everyone…so in the end, what was the point? There isn’t one.” This quote is very easy for me to relate to because I have had people tell me of occurrences such as this once before and it truly is no point in trying to take advantage of someone in a negative way. Being a bully will not get any person trying to fulfill that title any where positively but it will get them in a world of trouble in many different ways.
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Katie Cappello
Fighting Ends In Death
For this journal entry, I’m going to write about the two schoolgirls’ fight ends in death. Two girls who were only ten years old thought it was necessary to arrange a fight over one of the boys that they liked. They arranged for this all to happen in an alley in their neighborhood. It all started with them throwing up their hair, only throwing a few punches, and a busted lip. After the fight was done, they both went about their ways to their homes. Only six hours later was Joanna Ramos pronounced dead. I think its horrible that two young girls are fighting over a boy. They’re only ten years old, what can you possibly be fighting about a boy for? Makes no sense to me. It’s amazing now a days how parents let their kids roam and do whatever they want, when they want. Ten year olds should still be supervised after school hours. It’s unbelievable that a ten year old is now being charged for homicide. Although, officials say they aren’t sure what the outcome of this death will be, I feel that the child should be charged. No kid of that age especially should be fighting. It’s unreal to me that these kids’ parents have no idea what their kids do after school hours. Well, now they do. I wish people knew what went on in their kids’ heads. They could have done something to prevent this from happening.
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Katie Cappello
Elevator Box Speech Outline.
Introduction: The main problem with bullying is that no one ever goes far enough to help other people out so the problem has no solution. There is so many issues with bullying that I can talk about, but three minutes won’t do the trick. I feel that more things need to be done for the people who are being bullied.
1. The first main point I would like to address is the fact that no one does anything in schools for the kids that are getting bullied. There are laws that we have to follow in order to keep schools open. With that being said, you’d think that there wouldn’t be anymore bullying in this world but that’s not the case. We need to be more observant with our surroundings and help other people in need.
2. I think people around the world should make organizations like the Guardian Angels that work downtown Chicago, that look for things like this to happen. People that go out of their way to do this and not get paid actually have a heart and want to look out to prevent things like bullying.
Conclusion: Overall, I think this country can do a lot better with helping people out who are getting bullied. We don’t need anymore suicides, murders, anything !
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Katie Cappello
Bullying.
1. Overview of the Issue.
Bullying is something that can hurt everybody and anybody and, of course, something that no body wants. It’s unbelievable that schools aren’t doing everything in their power to help these students out. Bullying has gotten worse and worse ever since I can remember. People that are getting bullied can take things to an extreme and do things to themselves that should never be done to anyone. Now a days, kids as young as 12 are killing themselves because they are being bullied without telling anyone their problems. I think schools should be doing everything in their power to be helping these students out. They can be doing anything from cutting themselves, killing themselves, hurting others, or even worse..dealing with it all and not talking to anyone about it. Unfortunately, we live in a world where most people are cruel and heartless. Well, at least from my point of view. When first meeting someone, be nice to them. You don’t know what they’re going through. Getting back to schools not doing enough for their students who are getting bullied. From reading articles about how some schools are going about educating their students about how bullying is bad, I found that they are only showing them the facts over a power point. What a waste of time. That’s a presentation I’d want to fall asleep to. Kids at a young age want colorful demonstration on how to go about doing things the right way, not a boring monotone presentation given by someone much older. Even giving a presentation by someone of the same age as the observers would be a big help. Young children don’t quite understand the right way to treat someone that looks different or has different skin color. Sometimes, parents of these children aren’t even involved with what their kids are doing at school, some aren’t even interested. Bullying happens at every school; high schools, grammar schools, and junior high. Even college. Bullying is a huge issue that needs to be taken care of immediately or else more and more students every year will harm themselves.
2. Background Research.
Bullying can happen to any gender and at any age. It can happen anywhere at any time. There aren’t really any factors leading up this issue because people pick on others simply because either they have nothing better to do so they try to make themselves feel better or because someone they know doesn’t fit in with a lot of people. People that aren’t getting bullied don’t understand what the people that are getting bullied are going through. Someone putting a smile on their face doesn’t mean they’re happy, you have no idea what they could be dealing with at home. There aren’t really MAIN facts about this issue because there can be a lot of different outcomes. People that get bullied can have it so bad to where they have to see a counselor as much as they can to get their emotions out to someone. This may not make them feel better, but knowing that they have someone to talk to can help someone out so much and can make their lives a little less stressful. 1 of ever 4 students are bullied each month. “New Jersey has some of the most extensive bullying prevention policies- the state mandates teacher training on how to handle bullying and requires the state board of education to design a model anti-bullying policy that districts can follow.” (Background on Bullying) There are also several different forms of bullying. Verbal bullying, social exclusion, or isolation, physical bullying, bullying through lies and false rumors, having money or other things taken or damaged, threats or being forced to do things, racial bullying, sexual bullying, and cyber bullying. These forms of bullying can also be mixed with each other depending on the type of person the bully is. Looking at some of the websites when I was doing research, it is also said that there is no simple cause of bullying. Some student that bully need to have that feeling that they are in charge and they need to make themselves feel dominant. They also find satisfaction with how the person they are bullying feels after they are being bullied.
3. The Current Situation and Challenges.
The most recent thing that I’ve heard on the news about someone getting bullied was about a guy in college that had so much potential, killing himself because his “friends” thought it was funny to video tape him while he was having sex with another male. Situations like these have been more common in the past few years because there are a lot of people that don’t agree with same sex partners. There are a lot of struggles that people are facing in working on this issue. Most don’t even know how to go about working out this issue. It’s even worse trying to explain it to younger people. When i was looking at articles, I felt like people at younger ages were going through this a lot more than people who were in college. “Each day an estimated 160,000 students in the USA refuse to go to school because they dread the physical and verbal aggression of their peers.” (American ASPCC) That is unbelievable. Not coming to school for that reason can make an innocent child not earn the education they need to have a successful life. Which will most likely cause more stress on his/her life. It can also effect their health. “Bullying can result in reluctance to go to school and truancy, headaches and stomach pains, reduced appetite, shame, anxiety, irritability, aggression and depression.” (American ASPCC) How could someone live their life knowing that they’re doing this to someone else?
4. What’s Being Done?
As much as I hate to say it, I feel like nothing is being done. As I mentioned earlier, schools aren’t doing as much for these students as they should be. I feel like they are only doing this because they absolutely have to. They aren’t even showing as much as they should. When I was reading an article on what teachers in junior high were doing, it said they were only showing the students power points on why bullying is bad. There aren’t even “No Bullying” policies at these schools. Do you know how many kids/adults could have been saved if there was a “No Bullying” policy? Most likely a lot. Having one of these policies will notify the students who bully that they can get severe consequences for bullying another student. I feel like so much more should be done for every age group. Maybe having someone of the same age talking to the students about something that has happened to them and how they were bullied could help these students understand that what they’re doing is wrong. Talking to them one on one can be helpful too because they can ask their own questions and get sincere answers. More organizations should be put together for people to go to if they don’t have anyone else to talk to or they can’t afford to get a counselor. Illinois has an anti-bullying law that was passed in 2008. Every school has requirements that they need to meet in order to stay open. If schools do not meet these requirements, there can be severe consequences. I haven’t heard anything from our town that has anything to do with bullying. I think that’s because most people think it’s not a big issue. I think that they need to be doing a lot more than what they are doing now because bullying is something that gets worse and worse every day. I also think that student counsels at every school should be involved with things that have to do with bullying. Even though Illinois has requirements for every school to meet, I feel that teachers AS WELL AS students should be involved in this big issue.
5. How Can You Get Involved? How Can You Help?
To help someone that is being bullied, the easiest thing someone can do for them is be a friend and give them someone to talk to. IF you know someone that is being bullied, talk to them or contact a parent or someone of higher authority in a school. Even just getting a social group together and talking about things out of the ordinary can make a big difference as well. Knowing that you have someone to talk to when you’re going through a hard time in your life makes your day a little brighter. To get more information on the facts of bullying, the website that I found most helpful is http://www.americanspcc.com/education/bullying/. To join a website and show that you are against bullying, you can go to http://www.standtogether.tv. Looking at one of the websites, the most important things you can do is stand up for the victim, don’t join in on the bullying, stop the rumors, tell an adult, and offer help. Another thing that is kind of out of the box is doing your own thing for your school. Asking one of the teachers to do a presentation that you feel is important for everyone to hear, can be a great benefit for helping those in need. Even if you were just doing some simple research, could help. Most people do not know what goes on in their school because they simply don’t pay any attention or they don’t care. Putting a few facts on a power point or a poster board will open students eyes to something they don’t know much about. Starting an association just like the Guardian Angels that work downtown in the higher crime areas, don’t even get paid to do what they do. They watch out for people that start crimes like bullying. Stealing, shooting, killing, starting fights, anything along the lines of that. What people need to start doing is OBSERVING their surroundings. If you don’t know what’s going on around you, things like this will start happening without you even noticing. The Guardian Angels started because there is way too much crime going around in the Chicago area. Putting something together like they did, will turn out to make our state look so much better than it does. We have such a beautiful environment, why ruin it with how people are acting towards each other? Noticing that a group of people that got together knowing that they weren’t going to get paid is real determination. We need more people like that. Maybe people will see them around the city and realize that they need to go out and make a difference in order to get what they want. You can start anywhere. Schools, libraries, bring it up at the town meetings, or even online. Another easy thing that can be done is making a web page online. Putting information on a page for the internet can give people the background information they really need. Also, I think that we need to let our teachers and staff know that they need to be more aggressive with this topic. Knowing that they understand what they need to do will help improve our school systems. Another way is to get your parents involved. Going to your parents to talk about things is probably one of the best things to do because they are the people that know you the best. They will have your back with anything and with them knowing that you want your words to get out, they’ll help with what ever you need to do. Going to a town meeting to get the most important people of your town’s opinion, can help in a lot of situations. With them knowing that it is an issue that needs to be fixed, they can make bigger town meetings that includes the people of your town; to get everyones voice heard. Maybe going door to door asking a few questions about how people think of bullying can help. With people knowing that there is bullying, maybe they will want to get involved as well. Going around and doing surveys will show the people of your town that you want to put a stop to bullying. Getting the answers of the people will also tell the most important people of the town what their people are thinking of. If they know that they want something to be done, they might make it a bigger issue. Also, going to other schools and telling them what you think about the issue can give them insite on things that they don’t know. Telling someone something that they don’t already know can make a difference. Not only going to other schools, but going to businesses and talking to the people there might help as well. Knowing that you have a major business standing behind your back having the same beliefs you do, will help the word get spread that much faster. Before you know it, the whole country will know that there needs to be something done about this horrible issue. As stupid as this sounds, getting mascots to help support your cause will lure younger children in to understanding what needs to be done. Children are more interested in things that relate to their age group. I think by making a mascot, children will be more interested because the mascot does the right thing. Showing and teaching the children will make them want to do the right thing. Starting these things out with children early will help them form a better outlook of life. Since they will know how to treat others the right way, even though some bumps in the road may come alone, they will teach their children and friends the right way to go about living life too. Having this outlook on life will make our society and country so much better even with the things we are struggling with today. Helping out in any way to help bullying become something of the past, is the right thing to do. It will make you a better person as well. m
6. To Learn More.
You can go to any anti-bullying website or go to one of your teachers at your school. The state of Illinois has a law passed about anti-bullying and currently has an A- with how they are going about teaching and helping out students who are being bullied. Since Illinois keeps up with what they have to do to meet the requirements of the law, there is a lot of information out on the internet for everyone to see on how they can help as well. Going out and doing things without being told to will help our society out a lot and will make it that much better for everyone in our neighborhood. Even going to one of the counselors or advisors in your school will help you out with finding out more information. They should know everything that needs to be done and what goes on in the school that you attend. You can also go to a town meeting and ask what people think of what should be done about bullying in schools.
7. Works Cited.
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/background-bullying
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Corey Thiesse
Katie C.
When I started to read your paper one of the first ideas you presented caught my attention because I feel the same way and it makes sense. The idea of boring presentations being given to students in schools is something that is not very useful. As students I am sure all of us have sat through and listened to a presentation similar to, or the same as the one you were discussing in your paper. You bring up good points as to how they do not appeal to the children. You are correct in saying that no one wants to listen to a monotone, boring teacher of an older age. None of those students will be able to relate. You present a good idea in having someone of the same age as the audience giving the speech or presentation. I think that you could go a little more in depth and give more examples of situations of how bullying affected someone’s life. More examples like the one you gave about the college student killing himself because of that video his friends made of him having sex with another male. Stories like these hook the reader in more and kind of brings out the emotion, which enables them to relate more to the topic, and even possibly take action. I am not saying you have to give a very extensively detailed explanation of what happened, but just describe it just like how you did with your first example. I can relate to these kinds of stories because we have had two kids from my high school kill themselves because of bullying. It is absolutely terrible to think that the people in my school, that I am probably friends with, have contributed to bullying the kids that have completed suicide. In your paragraph where you describe how someone can get involved, I think in part of it you state the opposite of what should be done according to you, earlier in the paper. You say that schools should stay away from giving boring presentations, but in this section of the paper you state that “Another thing that is kind of out of the box is doing your own thing for your school. Asking one of the teachers to do a presentation that you feel is important for everyone to hear, can be a great benefit for helping those in need”. I feel this is kind of redundant and you could clarify a little more on this. Otherwise, I feel like you present good ideas to help the victims of bullying. You give good, reliable websites to help put a stop to bullying around the world. This is also your most elaborate paragraph, which shows that you truly did the research on how to help kids that are getting bullied. It also shows that you really do care for these kids are not just rambling on to meet the word quota. Overall, this is a very well organized and easy to follow paper, Just work on the things I described and it should be good!
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Julian Operana
Katie Cappello
Bullying
My first thoughts of this essay is that it is very well written and very well organized. I like your overview of bullying and what you personally thought of the issue. I also do believe that schools should do more about this problem. With your overview I thought it was very detailed and you wrote what was important. Next, your background research was almost the same as your overview just different statistics. “1 of ever 4 students are bullied each month.” I would change the sentence to 1 out of every 4 students are bullied each month. I honestly agree with this statement “Some student that bully need to have that feeling that they are in charge and they need to make themselves feel dominant. They also find satisfaction with how the person they are bullying feels after they are being bullied.”
I found it disturbing that the guy killed himself over his own friends being immature. One statistic that stood out to me was that “Each day an estimated 160,000 students in the USA refuse to go to school because they dread the physical and verbal aggression of their peers.” It hard to believe that 160,000 students skip school because of bullying. “Bullying can result in reluctance to go to school and truancy, headaches and stomach pains, reduced appetite, shame, anxiety, irritability, aggression and depression” Another statistic that is just unbelievable and I didn’t know most of these things before. I do agree and think that most of the schools do not even recognize what is going on with bullying. It is more serious than people think. “Talking to them one on one can be helpful too because they can ask their own questions and get sincere answers. More organizations should be put together for people to go to if they don’t have anyone else to talk to or they can’t afford to get a counselor. Illinois has an anti-bullying law that was passed in 2008. Every school has requirements that they need to meet in order to stay open.” These are the main ways to help the bullying in schools. Your next section on how you can get involved. “Most people do not know what goes on in their school because they simply don’t pay any attention or they don’t care. Putting a few facts on a power point or a poster board will open students eyes to something they don’t know much about. Starting an association just like the Guardian Angels that work downtown in the higher crime areas, don’t even get paid to do what they do. They watch out for people that start crimes like bullying. Stealing, shooting, killing, starting fights, anything along the lines of that. What people need to start doing is OBSERVING their surroundings.” This was probably the best part of your essay. It shows that you care and you know what you are talking about. It is said that all these crimes and wrongdoings are happening around the world. Overall I thought this was a good essay. -
Jonte Spane
I liked the way you set up your paper. It made it very easy to read and I think you broke it apart quite well. Bullying is a very large issue that young kids go through everyday. Bullying is hard to deal with because children often don’t know what to do when that occurs. I do agree with you that schools should be aware more of the bullying that is going on in this place of learning. Kids should never be afraid to go to school everyday just because they think they are going to be tormented. “Bullying happens at every school; high schools, grammar schools, and junior high. Even college. Bullying is a huge issue that needs to be taken care of immediately or else more and more students every year will harm themselves.” Bullying is a serious matter that is going around every where. Most bullies just pick fights with people that are much smaller than them or if they think they are a threat. Most bullies just want to fight someone for no reason or to cool in front of their friends. Kids that are being bullied don’t thin there is a way out and dread going to school. I have a nephew that is going through bullying at his school. Kids nowadays have the most foulest mouths ever. These young children have less respect as the years go by and are more advanced. Well that is just my opinion. Kids these days are too smart for their own good. It is sad to know that 1 out 4 children are bullied every month. This needs to stop. When you keep poking someone eventually they will explode. They might want to harm their selves or others. They might even try to get revenge on the person that is hurting them or hurt anyone around them. Bullying is absolutely unnecessary and it needs to be put to an end. Anytime I see a child being mistreated I will step in and try my best to end it. This paper really kept me wanting to read more and it really kept my attention. I liked how you really did your research and you did a great job pointing out the important information.” Verbal bullying, social exclusion, or isolation, physical bullying, bullying through lies and false rumors, having money or other things taken or damaged, threats or being forced to do things, racial bullying, sexual bullying, and cyber bullying.” Bullying comes in many different shapes and forms. I have been also been a witness to cyber bullying” Having social networks such as Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, chatrooms all gives these children access to harass their fellow peers. Parents should also monitor their young children’s internet surfing and make sure it is just fun they are having on the computer. Overall you made an excellent paper and I really enjoyed reading it! Great transitioning and you did a very nice job organizing everything. It really took away from the average paper.
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Katie Cappello
The first thing I think of when I hear activism is people that stand up for the things that they believe in. Things like standing up for rights, raising money for a cause, going to soup kitchens for people that don’t have food or somewhere to live. Some people may look at it differently than I do, but I stand up for what I believe in. Activism also makes me think of people who are active. Going out and doing something for others on their own time and helping out the community. People like these will change our society and the way we go about living our lives. Without this happening, our world could change. The way people are now, our society isn’t going anywhere good so we need to drill in peoples’ heads that we need to make a change for the better. Doing something so simple like community service can be such a big help now a days.
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Katie Cappello
This exercise was actually very hard for me because I’m not the type of person to pick and choose what people deserve things that others don’t. I saved all of the woman and children because the children are so young, they deserve to live. The mothers I kept because they should be the ones taking care of their kids. I’m pretty sure I only saved one or two of the men because they had backgrounds with the medical field. I feel that that is important because if there was ever a situation where someone needed help or someone got hurt really bad, the men would be there to help out. I think this exercise made me a very judgmental person because I had to pick and choose who deserved to live and who was to die. In real life though, I’m not normally this judgmental. At first, I thought this assignment was going to be easy but right as a read the situation and looked at the people to choose from, it suddenly got very hard. In the end, I think I would have made the right decisions if this was a real life situation, but I would definitely rather not have to pick who lives and who dies.
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Katie Cappello
I think you can tell a lot about someone by how they act in public but also by how they act at home. People that I have come across have acted differently in front of friends than they do in front of their parents. In this paper, I’ll tell you about my thoughts on life and my beliefs.
There is so much diversity in this world, it’s insane. People go through so many things on a daily basis that people don’t even realize what they’re doing to each other. I believe that everyone should be treated equally no matter what they look like or what nationality they are. I’m nice to every single person that I see because that’s how I would want to be treated if I was meeting someone new. You don’t know what’s going on in peoples’ households, you could say something that makes them want to hurt themselves or something worse; taking their life. I don’t understand why people can be so mean to one another. I went to a high school where everyone thought they were perfect, it was so annoying. I couldn’t tell you how many fights I’ve seen or someone being bullied. This is something I live for. I live for helping people and talking to them about their problems. That’s why I’m majoring in psychology. I’m always the person my friends come to for advice. I love talking. I love helping people out and I think that everyone should be that way. Not everyone has to be like me, but why not make someones day by at least saying hello or some how making their day a little bit better. Obviously, in this world..a lot of people don’t know how to do that. Which is pretty sad.
My family is the only thing I’d die for. They’re the only people that have been there for me through everything. I know that I could go to them for anything, that’s what they’re there for. It’s always nice knowing that you have someone there no matter what the situation is. There are some people I know that never talk to their family, are never around their family, and don’t even like to be around their families. Why would you do that to the people that love you the most?
There’s nothing I’d wanna kill something for more than wanting people to be civil with each other. People go around talking about each other like it’s nothing. There is nothing that has ever bothered me more that that. What’s the point of it? They’re wasting their time. I feel that some people go out of their way to cause drama with their friends or someone they haven’t even met before. I wish people could be nice to everyone they meet and not say bad things about people, but obviously that’s going to get worse before it gets better.
Even though I know these things will never get better, people should understand that not everyone has it as good as they do. As much as I want to get my word out, I know that a lot of people will think it’s dumb. Family, happiness, and education are my main priorities right now and it’s good to actually write down these things so that everyone can read them.
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Julian Operana
Writer’s Workshop Guide
Katie C.
Your first sentence really stood out at me. “I think you can tell a lot about someone by how they act in public but also by how they act at home.” I strongly agree with this statement and I thought it was a great attention getter. I would change the wording to make it a much stronger statement. For example, I think you can tell a lot about a person not only by how they act in public in their everyday lives but also on how they act at the comfort of their own home. The phrase that stood out to me was “I believe that everyone should be treated equally no matter what they look like or what nationality they are.” It shows that you want everyone treated equally. I also liked how you explained it by saying that you treat everyone nice because you want to be treated nice when people first meet you. I think that when you said you live for helping people and talking to them about their problems shows how you will be a successful psychologist. It sounds like family is a big part of your life because you said that your family is the only thing in the world you would risk your life for. It sounds like they are very important to you with you saying that they are always there for you no matter what. I think you should write more about what you would die for. It really looks like you wrote a lot more for what you would live for then what you would die for. Same can be said for what you would kill for but most of us wrote only a short paragraph on that topic. I feel what you would kill for is honestly reasonable. It what you would live for and also what you would kill for. The way I see it is that you want there to be world peace. You want everyone to get along with each other and no fighting in this world. This essay is well structured and it has 5 paragraphs that are well organized. The ending was a great way to show what you really care about. “Family, happiness, and education are my main priorities right now and it’s good to actually write down these things so that everyone can read them.” I thought that ending really showed what this essay was about. I think your what would you live for paragraph was the strongest part of this essay. And I think that your main purpose of this essay was to spread world peace. It sounds like that is one of the main things you want out of life. Their was no major grammatical errors that I saw. I thought you wrote this essay with great detail and you explained everything. There are no major changes that I would make to this essay. Overall this was a very good essay that I enjoyed reading.
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Corey Thiesse
Katie C.
I enjoyed how you were very open with ideas and how things bother you in the world around. I agree with your statements that people should try to be nicer to each other and not always mean. I feel like your ideas are well thought out, but not expressed strongly enough. If you really want people to stop saying mean things and bullying one another you have to put some emotion into it. That is how many inspirational people are able to hook crowds of readers to comply with their beliefs. I can see how you care deeply about this cause, but if you can pour a little more emotion into your sentences and word them a little better i think you can get your ideas across much better. People have a tendency to only be intrigued in writings that give them something to care about, and putting emotion in your sentences is what can help them become more interested. Who knows, maybe one day you will be a successful psychology major and will be helping people with their problems as you are now. There’s no better time to start practicing than the present! I can tell you are very passionate about bullying and people being mistreated because you went into more detail than you did with the other paragraphs. Personally i agree with your statements of how people can have their day brightened by a simple hello because when someone says hello to me, it makes me feel better. This is the strong part in your paper in my eyes and i feel like you did a good job talking about it, but maybe you could go more in depth and elaborate about how you feel because it seems to me that you have a great passion for this. Also, when people have a passion for ideas they believe in they tend to write better, which brings me back to the emotion part of it. The ideas I am discussing with you all come into play in being a better writer.
I think that you could have talked a little bit more about how your family plays a big role in your life. It seems to me that you have more to talk about there and that you could give more examples of how your family is always there for you. I liked how you went into talking about other peoples families and how some people do not appreciate them a much as you do.
When you start to talk about what you would kill for, I see that you go into talking about people being civil with each other again. Again, I am able to see that you care deeply about making others feel good. I agree totally with this because I am a person who could care less what others think of me and i believe they should worry more about themselves rather than the people they are harassing. If they are harassing someone I feel like they have a problem with themselves and they express bullying others.
Overall, good writing. Keep it up! :)
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Jonte Spane
The essay you wrote was very interesting and easy for me to relate to because of the fact that I too believe in equality. Equality is a way of life and I see you are living it very well. Having the maturity to respect any and every person you encounter is a great aspect of your life because you won’t have to worry about much negativity in your lifetime if you continue to be that type of person. Being a caring person for not only your feelings but the feelings of others is a characteristic that is very hard to come by these days because most people feel they will be taken advantage of if they are too nice to someone. I too am a nice person and can relate to you in that way. “I think you can tell a lot about someone by how they act in public but also by how they act at home. People that I have come across have acted differently in front of friends than they do in front of their parents. In this paper, I’ll tell you about my thoughts on life and my beliefs.” This quote that was included in your paper helps the reader understand your main thoughts on life. Having a positive attitude when writing your paper was one of the things you exercised greatly. After reading the essay I can honestly say that there are many people in the world that don’t care about others and knowing you are one of the people that do shows the type of person you are and will progress in life because of the way you are. The structure of the paper was very well and comprehensive and it also showed how much of a concerned person you have grown to be by practicing a healthy attitude. “My family is the only thing I’d die for. They’re the only people that have been there for me through everything. I know that I could go to them for anything, that’s what they’re there for. It’s always nice knowing that you have someone there no matter what the situation is. There are some people I know that never talk to their family, are never around their family, and don’t even like to be around their families.” This quote from your essay is indeed true because everyone is not a caring type of individual and some feel they are above everyone else in every aspect of their life. Having this type of feeling inside a person can damage them for life because whatever they do unto others, they need to expect it to come back on them eventually. I really enjoyed reading the essay because it is always good to know there are others in this world that are not arrogant and conceited like many people are. Speaking from a involved participant point of view was a great decision you made because it gave all the readers a chance to see if they can relate to you.
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Katie Cappello
Ecological literacy, to me, is how we go about helping out our community and our surroundings. I don’t think some people realize that littering and stuff like that is ruining our communities. We need people that are actually considerate and like to do this stuff to help with things like littering. I think that more companies need to be ecologically literate, that way our communities can be a lot cleaner with the help of more people. I think one can become ecologically literate by signing up for community cleanups or even going to friends and talking to them about it. I feel that I am ecologically literate because I try to help out ever way that I can regardless of the situation.
citation
Grace Cosentino, 
Julian Operana, 
Jonte Spane and one other person are discussing. 
Corey Thiesse are discussing. 
Justyna Matyjaszczyk is discussing. 
Corey Thiesse 10:49 pm on April 22, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Katie C.
I really enjoy the topic you are writing about and i am in complete agreement with you. I think it is absolutely terrible having to see all these poor, helpless animals being beaten and mistreated. What did they every do to anyone? They are little harmless animals that just want to be loved and given a place to live. Every time i see one of those pet adoption commercials or the ones to stop animal abuse, i have to turn the channel because it is so sad to watch. I just do not understand why people would want to hurt these precious animals when they look so cute and friendly. I wish everyone would be nice to them like the other normal people in the world. Just because they are animals does not mean they should not be treated differently than us. Anyways getting back to the peer review part of this. I feel like you have a solid topic to write about and discuss here. The fact that you have been to an animal shelter before and have helped out definitely will give you a better idea of what your service learning project will be about. You will not go in there not knowing what to do, so you will have a better grasp on the idea at hand. I think you have your paper organized pretty well and it will stay that way when you come back to it after you have completed the service learning part of this project at some sort of shelter. I agree with all your points that you make about treating the animals right and how it is not that hard. I guess some people just do not get it. I think in the last sentence of your first paragraph you could maybe break it down a little bit because it seems like a run on sentence to me. Replace one of the commas with a period and it should make more sense and flow better. I think once you complete your service learning part of the project you will have much more to talk about. You make some very valid and true arguments and i think you should stick with those points. Maybe to add to your organization you can divide your work into sections so that it is easier to read. This makes it more of an informative piece of work and most definitely makes it look more professionally written. I agree that it is quite ridiculous that if you want to help at one of those shelters that you have to sign to a six month contract. That seems absurd. I think there are plenty more places you can search that would not try to trap you in that contract. Although you are the one doing the research, so you probably know more about this topic than i do. Good work so far though! Keep it up and be sure to post on here when you finish the service part of the project. I am interested as to how it goes!
Jonte Spane 11:41 pm on April 22, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
The Animal Welfare League goal to find a shelter to assist the well-being of animals, to nurture them, and save them from abuse is very well structured. The writer made this point very clear. I too love animals and care about them being taken care of properly. There are some people that stereotype animals and they are the type of people that would never set foot in the Animal Welfare League. When animals are sick and being abused they are being saved from hoarder’s abuse and abandonment by coming to the shelter. My group too chose to get involved in the Animal Welfare League first but could get in touch with Joe Sparks, the Volunteer Services Manager. Taking care of animals that have suffered abuse and diseases is not only the goal of the Animal Welfare League but has been my goal since I was very little. They take them in to give them shelter and a better life. They are very creditable and are very fragile with the care they have for animals. I had a very great time reading the paper the writer created. It shows me how much I should care about the disparity of animals. “The paper that was presented was very well worded and had great rising points. There was a very high level of communication used and showed great maturity. The writer seems to be a very nice individual who is all for the action to help others. The Service that the writer provided was very religious and considerate. The Habitat for Humanity Organization was indeed a successful choice for the writer to be able to have showed what great experiences they learned. The writer had a great deal of ingredients on what their group’s goal was while typing the paper. There was much evidence of what surprised the writer while performing there service at the Habitat for Humanity Organization. There was a good lesson learned from the experience the writer had and too a great service given by them. The intriguing events that occurred while the writer was going about there service at the Habitat for Humanity Organization were well placed in the draft. The writer also had no trouble including what really disturbed them and I loved that because the writer was being real with the reader. “Just a little side note, every shelter is looking for people to help them. Why not try it out? Helping animals is a very good thing to get into especially if you’re an animal lover. It’s not very hard to do, although some do make you sign a commitment for how ever many months they want you to help them out. Look for a place near your home that way it helps you out a little bit. Trust me helping out animals will help you be a better person in life. It’s not a huge commitment to help an innocent little animal out.” This quote shows much the writer overall cares not only about the project but the well being of animals.
Julian Operana 8:30 pm on April 23, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Katie C.
I really liked how you started off the paper by saying that you did not go yet to the organization to show that you are not done with your paper. “Five hundred animals die every day due to animal cruelty. How could you do such a thing to a harmless animal. People these days have no heart. You don’t have to do very much to help out an animal. You can go to your local animal shelter and volunteer to do some work there to help them out since they have a lot of animals waiting to be adopted, be kind to animals, and if you have an animal at your home, just take care of it.” You showed the statistics of the of animal cruelty and you know that people who do it have no heart. The biggest story I know about animal cruelty is Michael Vick which is a professional football player and he had problems with dog fighting. “Going to your local shelter to volunteer to help the animals waiting to be adopted is a very easy thing to do. I’ve been to an animal shelter before and they really don’t ask for that much. All you really have to do is clean cages, feed the animals, wash them, and take care of them. The last time that I went to a shelter, I went with one of my best friends who is a huge animal lover.” I liked how you talked about a past experience and you went with you best friend which you add is a huge animal lover. You also explain that it is really easy to help animals is a easy thing to do. Because most people think that taking care of a animal is one of the hardest things to do in the world. “Even if you don’t have any animals of your own, always be kind to them. I always see animals on the street, homeless. Some that I see on a daily basis live in a bad area, don’t have anyone to take care of them. Some people would be kind enough to leave food outside for them or give them a simple shelter to stay in when its cold outside.” I thought you wrote this part really well because you explain to people even though you don’t have a animal you can still help animals around the world. By just leaving food outside for animals can really help them. “Look for a place near your home that way it helps you out a little bit. Trust me, helping out animals will help you be a better person in life. It’s not a huge commitment to help an innocent little animal out.” This was also good to show that there is not a huge commitment to help out innocent little animals. I thought the paper was good in general because you did not go to the service organization out yet. I did not see any grammatical errors throughout the whole paper.
Grace Cosentino 10:41 am on April 24, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I liked your first paragraph because you started off by saying that you had a love for animals and since your paper is on animal cruelty then that’s a good sign for the reader to know that you are passionate about what you are writing about. I also have a soft spot for animals and wrote a paper on animal cruelty in my last project so I can relate to your work but I think that the first part about you not being able to help yet because of the contract and everything you should have left out of your first paragraph because that makes the reader not really want to continue reading your paper because they think there is no point to read someone’s paper that is supposed to be about service work and you didn’t even do it yet. I think that you should have put that in a later paragraph you shouldn’t have started out with that. But since you are obviously going to revise it that part will probably be taken out once you get your service work done so that should be an easy fix! I liked that you had background knowledge of helping before because it got me more hooked as a reader it gave me something to want to read on about because you talked about helping before and saying it is an easy thing to do. As a teen I think that if we are going to volunteer were looking for something easy and fun so that was a good word to use especially for the age group of the audience that is going to read your paper. It was sad about the dog that had surgery but it was reality and a little bit of reality in a paper always makes it that much better. Your personal stories as a writer always attracts the reader to want to keep reading your paper because they love emotional heart felt real stories I always go for a real story rather than one that is made up so I liked the fact that you talked about getting a kitten from a shelter and the dog with the bad eye because it gave me a picture in my head of what is going on in the shelter. Not only did it give me a picture in my head but it also made me realize that you are not just helping for this project but you really care about this topic considering you’ve helped before and actually adopted a pet from one of these shelters so it made me want to read your paper. I agree with your paragraph that you should not buy a pet if you cannot take care of it if you think it’s too much work and too much of a struggle then don’t buy one at all that makes no sense. But that is what I liked about your paper the most the fact that you spoke the truth and really spoke what was on your mind.