Lee McKinnis (57)
Kristina Marynczak (37)
Killian Noonan (36)
Melissa Castillo (32)
NikoVelazquez (27)
Shannon Ratzel (23)
Michelle Reyes (22)
Kyle Barczak (21)
Maura Bilek (21)
Susan Bayaa (21)
For the papers we had to use sources, do we have to do an annotated bibiliograpy?
Updates from RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
-
Anthony Stevens
-
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal I decided to talk about Tuesday’s speaker at the fair: Mona Purdy with the Share your Soles foundation. In class we heard about Share your Soles because it was one of the service learning opportunities earlier in the semester, but some of us didn’t get a chance to do it. I thought it sounded like a really neat organization by donating shoes to give to third world countries. On Tuesday during the service learning fair, we heard that the founder Mona Purdy would be speaking at the fair. I thought that is really cool hearing from the founder herself. After the speech she showed a video on her recent trip to Haiti where she gave out shoes to children. I thought that was really sweet and kind of her to give those shoes. After the event, I decided to go on the website and see when and where I can drop of donations or even volunteer. There was an event mentioned at the fair and on the website which is a dinner at Maestros steak house on Thursday May 24th from five to eight pm to celebrate the 13th anniversary of the organization and the event is being hosted by Mona Purdy along with Jesse White and it is $95 at the door or $75 if you buy tickets in advance. This seems like it is going to bring in a lot of money because some wealthy people would want to donate more money for the organization because it is to a good cause. Overall I think that Share your Soles sounds like a great organization to volunteer and donate to because it such a good cause. And Mona Purdy is one amazing woman to start and still keep this organization going.
-
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is on the video on the slam poetry recited by Taylor Mali we viewed on tuesday. It made me laugh when he kept repeating “like” and “yknow” and I tend to say those things all the time and I never realized how stupids it sounds. I feel like that this video corrects me and is warning me not to use those words in every conversations. It also corresponded with what we were learning in class on Tuesday that the way you write or say things can influence the way you want to portray something. Just by adding simple words to your sentences for example “like” it can completely alter the point you are trying to make not only when speaking but also writing. Mr. McGuire showed us a slide show of different sentences that though meant the same thing or trying to mean the same but came out differently when you read it. For example one of the sentences stood out to me was “I am deeply sorry for your loss” or “hey i heard your uncle died” though both of them to me sounded the same, but they are hinting the same point this person is trying to get across it comes off in a completly different way and one of them might turn out to be offensive by the person you are talking to. I think a good way to remember when writing papers is that you have to be careful the way you word your sentences because you might think they are the same when it turns out that it could mean the complete opposite. It also might turn out to be offensive so also try to stay away from that. When you are writing a paper you have to think of your audience and readers and what people will think of your statements and opinions.
— Mali, Taylor. TOTALLY LIKE WHATEVER, YOU KNOW? http://www.tayormali.com. Copyright 2009 -
Anthony Stevens
Project 5 Volunteer
At first, I thought this service learning project would be easy, but it turned out it wasn’t that easy. My group and I talked about doing a service learning project that would include helping people in need. We decided that we wanted to help in such way that is easy to start with yet still has a powerful outcome. After a long deliberation about what we can decide on, we found that we need to take advantage of a position we all stand in. Many ideas came up throughout the conversation about one thing we are going to draw our focus on. Many different issues were discussed. Some of the ideas included animal abuse, bullying, to many more. There was a large variety and a huge open field we had to choose from because of the size of our group. We all had our own ideas that seemed best from our point of view. We had fun deciding on issues because everyone had their own opinion and input on what we should focus on. Everyone seems to have a great idea in one way or another, yet we could not come up with just one subject.
We then discussed about the previous service opportunities we participated in earlier in the semester. Three of the five members attended the organization Share Your Soles. We all seemed to like the organization and how it was managed. The three people who attended that service learning opportunity shared their stories on how they thought of their experience. I believe that sharing stories on experience is what started us off. After the stories we wanted to keep talking about it even though class was over. I feel like it broke the ice between the groups and brought us together. As we kept discussing about an organization, we established that we as a group wanted to help directly. We decided that we wanted to be a part of the help that our group is going to focus on. An organization like Share Your Soles sounded like a great idea considering we can all bring in a pair or more of shoes. Everyone agreed on the idea and organization and would be able to contribute to the organization ourselves. We all wanted to help the organization with donation something that we all can afford. Everyone said that they have shoes they can get rid of to donate which made the choice clear. With everyone still feeling ready and one hundred percent sure on the idea, we decided that we are going to help Professor McGuire with the Share Your Soles shoe drive. We thought that we would help by making posters that would help the shoe drive be more noticeable throughout the campus. I felt confident and compelled with the organization and so we decided we wanted to work with the Share Your Soles. We walked out of the class that day felling confident and on a right track.
After all of the hype about working with Share Your Soles, we came to a screeching halt with Professor McGuire. Professor McGuire said that it is similar to an opportunity that was offered earlier in the semester. I felt crushed because we found a perfect organization to work with and found out we can’t work with them. Although I have not worked with them it would have been a perfect opportunity to do some community service. Mona is the person that runs the organization and she seems like one of a kind that has something special to offer. I do not blame Professor McGuire on not letting us work with Share Your Soles. I believe he has good intentions and only wanted us to try and do something on our own. Even though Share Your Soles would be the perfect organization to work with, I think it made us a stronger group when
we had to make a decision on a different organization.Our group was kind of torn apart at first by the fact that we had to choose a new organization but eventually became stronger. We all once again had to sit down and decide what would be best for our group. I believe the second time around was a little easier considering we kind of had a set plan with what we wanted to do as a group. The one thing that we knew as a group is that we all wanted to contribute in one way or another. Not only did we want to do the five hours that are required to be served but on top of that we wanted to donate ourselves. After a long period of time we decided we wanted to do something similarly related to a shoe drive. We all agreed that we had extra clothes in all of our closets that we did not need. This brought up a great conversation considering that we all agreed that we can donate a part of our own possessions in order to help out others. This is one the greatest reasons why we chose to do a clothing drive. Our team really wanted to focus on taking advantage of where we stand in helping others. We wanted to step in a use our advantages in order to help people in need that do not have the same advantages as us.
Eventually after much discussion we finally found a new organization to work with. We decided that Salvation Army is a well-known organization that would be relatively convenient to work with. We made plans quick in order to stay on task. The following class, after we decided to work with the Salvation Army, we went right into bigger planning. We all thought it would be a good idea to get our campus involved along with our project. We got permission and set up bins all around the campus as quick as possible to help promote this clothing drive. As if we didn’t crash with our plans once before, we failed again. After a few phone calls to the Salvation Army, we found out that there is no way to volunteer for their organization. This was a big bummer just because we already set up the clothing drive and everything else. This right here is what set up back to fall behind schedule. We had to act quickly and we knew it. I believe Mike from the group made the biggest effort in finding a new organization that would both let us do a clothing drive, and let us volunteer. The reason why I say Mike put in the most effort is because he is the one that helped us get ideas and told us an overview of how we are going to do our project. I believe I was also a big help. I say so because I was the one who eventually ended up finding our second charity dealing with clothes. St. Vincent DePaul charity is the organization that we ended up working with. This organization is great because we can volunteer and help out directly with the charity and we can also donate clothes ourselves.
I am actually excited to continue to work on this project. This is something that I kind of have an idea on, but willing to try out. I plan on continuing promoting this clothing drive and help out as much as possible. I am also very anxious to go in and work with this organization to see what it is all about. I plan on revising more of this writing and adding on my actual experience after I complete my service.
-
Maura Bilek
I think this is an awesome first draft. I understand your feelings of difficulty upon mutually deciding on something with other group members- it’s not always easy. You want to pick something that everyone’s interested in so that they will be more engaged and willing to participate, so everyone enjoys what they’re doing. It seems like you and so many other people had an amazing experience at Share Your Soles, and I regret not being able to participate in that. It seems like your group was really disappointed in not being able to return. I think Professor McGuire really just wants us to explore different organizations and causes because there are so many out there. I like how you tell this as a story; the personal tone of the paper makes it very easy to relate to. It is evident from your paper that you have an awesome group, full of people who are driven and want to take the extra steps to make positive change. Do you think any other factors influenced this besides participating in Share Your Soles? I know it would be a very difficult experience to have to keep changing organizations to work with, especially ones you were passionate about and you did a great job expressing this. It was empowering to hear about you guys wanting to donate your possessons. I’m glad you found another organization to work with. I felt like it would have been nice to hear a bit more about it, as in background details, but I’m sure after actually completing the service work you will have more to say. Awesome first draft.
-
Anahi Perez
The first thing I noticed was the title. It was really basic, try maybe choosing something that is a bit more original. I really liked your introduction. It explained the whole background of how your project came to be and you included your group members, which means you didn’t work on the project by yourself. I could really relate to your experience with share your soles, because that was one of my first choices. It sounded like such an amazing and successful charity that I really wanted to participate in it, but like what you said the professor McGuire had also said no. I like the fact that you included the minor struggles that lead you to look for more charities to work with because it was not a simple task. It was also really cool that you included the founder of Share your Soles, because somebody could read your paper and would probably want to spend some time volunteering with Mona.
The structure of your paper is well organized, things fall into the right sequence. The paragraphs are not too long to where the reader gets bored of reading. Your phrase your sentences well. For St. Vincent DePaul, was there any type of process to get into the charity? I know many organizations have applications or a waiting list. Did you have any trouble within this category? What exactly are you planning to do with this organization? It would be nice to include background information on the St. Vincent DePaul charity, so that way the reader could be informed of what they are all about.
You did a lot of mentioning of your group members, but you didn’t mention all of their names. It would make things a lot more visible if you added these details along with deep descriptions of where you met up with your group members. Was there anything that was an absolute pain during your service project? What do you think could had been done to improve the planning of your project with your group members? I really think that a time factor was a huge problem with this project. I think that maybe if we were given a longer time to work on this, that maybe we would have had a higher success to participate and be put on a waiting list to complete the service that we really wanted to do.
I really enjoyed your paper because it was a very similar experience that I had. It was a pain to get some charities to let us work at their site right away and I’m glad you added this in your paper. People need to understand that volunteering takes serious time especially when it is something that you really want to work with. This project was a really big learning experience for myself, but was it for you? Your first start of the draft was really interesting and it leaves me curious to see how the final project will consist of. It was not boring which was a huge plus.
-
Alejandro Morales
Why did you think this project was going to be easy? You should really explain that in your first sentence because the reader may be curious as to why you did not think it would be difficult. You should consider revising or rewording your sentence about helping people in need. As you go on later you named animal abuse. That would be helping animals in need and not people. Sometimes readers can take that offence. I did not at all, but when you’re talking to a large audience, others may.
You talk about how you all seemed to like Share Your Soles and how it was managed. Explain why. Talk about what you specifically liked and why you liked how it was managed. Give specific details. I was hoping you would in your writing because I myself attended Share Your Soles and I honestly thought the managing was extremely poor. As much as I understand she started this all on her own with nothing but a goal I still thought for as long as they have been going and as well-known as they are now, why do they not have any organization? Also, talk about the stories they shared. You yourself said sharing stories is what started you guys off. It can help get your paper started off and make into a good transition.
You say that the one thing you wanted to do as a group was contribute in one way or another. Talk about how you want to contribute. What are you looking for in yourselves? What are you group members looking for? What did you have in mind to help fulfill your contribution that you want? I’m also confused on wanting to donate yourself. I just did not understand what you mean by it. Maybe in writing piece you can explain more of what you mean by that to help the audience understand what you mean. Your last few lines of that paragraph are great. You provide reasons and answers and explain things so they are understood very well. As soon as I read those lines questions popped into my head and they were immediately answered.
The next paragraph made me feel so bad for you!! You get a drive together and do all this work and set things up fast to stay on task only to find out that you guys cannot volunteer there. I felt your pain. That was so unexpected! I never would have thought for that to be in your writing piece. Great job! And SORRY!!!
You do need to talk more about your organization. I am aware that the service was not yet completed, but you need to talk about what they do and how you heard about them and things like that. Where are they located, what are you expected to do there, what mental images did you imagine right away, have you ever heard of this organization? Things like that can really help paint a picture for your reader and make them connect more with your writing.
-
-
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is on Chapter 4 in Why Write Rice called “You Can Do It in the Garden or in the Elevator” and the picture was titled “The Thinker.” My attention was on the picture because I have seen the statue before. Not literally but in books and TV shows. I thought of the many great ideas people think about and come up with just doing their business. In other terms, I think one of the main points is that just to sit back and think. Brainstorming is very important when it comes to writing an essay or posting another type of paper. I feel when I have time to just put my ideas together makes me very at ease because I am also confident on what I would be doing for an essay or another type of paper. I am able to put my sentences down more easily and effectively and just write a better all-around paper. The chapter also talks about thesis statements and some of the things people do. The most common problem in my opinion is people write something as if they think that there is some type of a guideline of word/sentence count that they have to write. That turned out to be my problem, I end up writing down what I thought was supposed to be posted and not by how the actual thesis flowed. It would have been fine with just a couple of sentences but I kept adding more and more. There is also talk about revision; in that face that it truly isn’t just making spelling corrections and grammatical errors. It is making sure the sentences actually make sense to you and whoever will read your essay/paper. Going over and over it to see if you’re also truly happy with what you have read. All in all the chapter was interesting, but I would have liked more of a story approach as I pay more attention to those and was getting caught off topic many times while reading this one.
— DeVillez, Eric. ” You Can Do It in the Garden or in an Elevator” (Why White Rice?) Kendal Hunt.Dubuque, IA pg -
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is about the presentation we attended on Tuesday. The presentation was on the Invisible Children and the Kony 2012 campaign. Their mission seemed really inspiring when they showed the video. Their message was very strong and effective enough for me to see after the presentation that there was a long line ready to donate and purchase merchandise and posters. I was very pleased that they were trying to do a cause for others in many different countries, but when I had read about controversial stand points I immediately became drawn in. I didn’t know that only thirty percent of our donations go towards funding. And I didn’t understand why they are going to support the Ugandan government when they are responsible for killing more people than Kony himself. I found something disturbing when I found that Kony has not been active in Uganda for over six years and they are still campaigning this. My first thought when it comes to organizations is that they are a scam. After watching the presentation, I now say that they are legit and are going for a good cause. I feel that the overall goal is noble and this man needs to be stopped so he doesn’t cause more harm. During the presentation they brought someone who went through that and I found that very convincing by hearing it from someone who witnesses this issue. This group has brought more attention people are starting to realize that this organization may not be as reputable as it seems. This class had taught me that if I want to volunteer for an organization then I must to research on its background. With this organization, the more research I did, the more I was compelled to stay away.
Invisble Children. 2012, March. KONY 2012 -
Anthony Stevens
My Journal entry this week is on a short story called Be Confident, Not a Know-It-All from Why White Rice? It was chapter eight in the book and I found it quite funny and entertaining. This story is about knowing the line between cocky, and confident. Mr. McGuire goes into saying how his six year old is quite the know it all, and how one of his former students went from no confidence, to arrogant and overly confident. Mr. McGuire talks about how his students pretty much undermine their writing by using phrases like, “I know”, “I believe”, ” It seems to me”, and so on. I have definitely been guilty of this. The reason why is, I do not want to say something with conviction, and then ending up looking dumb if I am wrong. I’m guessing this is why a lot of people get into the habit of saying these phrases. Having your work judged by others is scary, so you do not want them to think you are trying to be cocky. I try not to use these kind of phrases because to me I’m not that kind of person to be cocky and arrogant. When someone is reading and looking over my papers, I kind of dread looking on the comments because I would tend to use some of the phrases in my head, but I don’t use them. After I read this story I know what not to say when someone is grading or reviewing my papers. Now I try my best to sound like a confident writer. I don’t want other people thinking the same things about my writing.
— McGuire, Michael. “Be Confident, Not a Know-It-All.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 179-81. Print. -
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is on the video we viewed during class on Tuesday called “Yes we can.” I have not seen this video so I was interested on seeing what it is about. The video turned out to be about President Obama when he was before president and still running for president. When I first saw this video I was interested, but I didn’t really think too much about it. After class I went back and looked at it again, I applied it to what we just learned in class and it made more sense. I enjoyed that Will I Am included a lot of famous celebrities to be a part of the video. I think that we forget that celebrities most of the times are normal people like us and still have their own feelings, concerns, and opinions as well. I mean why would celebrities not care about who is President of the country they live in. What Will I Am did with this video in my opinion was a great thing because Obama got a lot more attention from the younger group of adults because this video put his speech into different perspective and made it more interesting to watch. My favorite thing in the whole video was how even though people were singing, you can still hear Obama’s voice loud and clear giving his speech. The singing of the speech did not over power Obama, it simply just made it easier to watch and easier to understand.
— Will-I-Am. “Yes We Can.” YouTube. YouTube, June 3, 2008. Web. Mar. 22, 2012 -
Anthony Stevens
Service learning reflection
I remember doing community service in high school for a graduation requirement, but when I heard that we were doing community service in COM-102 I was surprised. I felt like I was back in high school doing community service for the requirement again. At first I was going let me just get through it so I can get my hours. I was volunteering as camp counselor for a summer camp. I would be getting hours for the entire summer which I thought was so cool. After a few weeks I felt good on what I was doing because I was helping kids have the best summer of their lives. After I got my hours done I soon was open on doing more community service because I felt good because I was helping people and felt like I was doing something for the community. I personally think that community service is interesting and rewarding. It gives you the opportunity to do something that you would never do and learn about organizations that help solve certain issues going on in the world today.
When I saw the sheet coming around for service opportunities I looked at first saw the Greater Chicago Food Depository I thought this would be interesting and it would fit my schedule. At first I didn’t know what it was about. I talked to my mom and turns out she had some idea what it was about because my grandfather used to volunteer at a place like the GCFD so I had an idea on what I would expect. When I first arrived to the Greater Chicago Food Depository, I looked around and saw that the neighborhood was not what I expected. As I went inside I didn’t know what to expect. We then sat in a room where someone told us the background of the GCFD and what they do. I then looked at a map where there were quite a lot of black dots. The man talking to us told us that the black dots showed the places where the food would be distributed. That left me in shock. I soon had many questions in my head like why so many people in the city have food needs? Why isn’t everybody in the community informed on this situation? And are there any children who have food needs or that don’t have shelter.
The dots were only the beginning. We were then put into groups. Three groups went one way, and the other three groups went to a cold warehouse room. My group was in the warehouse room where we had to wear hairnets, aprons, plastic gloves, and surgical masks. At first I thought the moraine group would do something, but it turned out we were with two other groups which was fine by me because I’m a people person so it won’t be a problem. The job that our groups were doing was bagging, labeling, and packaging dry pasta. Our instructor divided us up into stations which were bagging, scaling, labeling, and packaging. I was at the bagging station and to tell you the truth it was quite easy. I thought bagging pasta would be no sweat. As I was bagging some pasta, I wasn’t looking and I accidently spilled some of the pasta and I thought this was going to be tougher than I thought. Toward the end my pasta bin was empty and they told me that it was the last one. The instructor gave me another task by taking the empty pasta bins and bring them to the sink so they can be washed. I thought I was done and had to wait for everyone else, but this definitely kept me occupied until everyone was finished. At last when everyone was done, the instructor told us that we did a great job and said how much we bagged and the overall total and I don’t quite remember the exact number, but I remember that the total number bagged was around 1,700 and the total was 3,700 I’m not quite sure but that is what I remember. After hearing the number I felt accomplished and proud that I was a part of a group who did a great thing for the community.
In my perspective in not doing something like that or didn’t know what he got himself into it was quite fun and had a very warm atmosphere. There were newcomers and veterans and it made me think that if these people are coming here to make a difference why can’t I? The only thing I did not like was when he asked who wanted to do for the subgroups. He gave a brief description of what each groups was and before I can think of what I wanted to do I ended up with packing the pasta which I didn’t mind too much. Everyone was so friendly and when you’re doing a service learning opportunity like this you would have to be. I met some nice people there who I might never see again, but while I was there for one day it was really nice talking and getting to know them.
After the service learning opportunity, I spent the rest of the day thinking about what I did and if I really did make a difference. I came to the conclusion that I think I really did because if there are many people with food needs then maybe I made a difference to at least one person. But if I were to make a bigger difference I would consider going back and saying that I help a ton of people in the process.
Observing the Greater Chicago Food Depository first hand was a fun and interesting experience. I’m glad that I picked this service learning opportunity. I think that if I was just stopped to watch the people there work for a while I would really see that random people who don’t even know each other can come together to get something done. I felt we were like a non-stop train from the people scooping the pasta to the scaling pasta to the people who would put them into the boxes. It doesn’t matter who you are you can make a difference. From this experience I learned to new things about myself. I also learned that even there are so many people in the world, I can make a difference. You don’t just have to do the GCFD there are many other organizations helping with many other problems. Again there are many other problems in the world today and people don’t even notice what they are about. You also can also start your own organization. If you do want to start your own organization, you have to remember to start small because it doesn’t appear overnight. Service learning isn’t for everybody, but you have to gain the courage to do it. Some people think that service learning is the same and you would be doing the same thing over and over again, but it is not usually the case and if it does happen then you can go to another organization. Any organization will be happy to have you but they are not going to call you or force you to go that is your job and I think everyone should at least one point in their life do one of these service learning opportunities.
Writing this paper made me realize I’m glad it was mandatory for me to complete the hours for a graduation requirement in high school. It really taught me about how I can help in the community. These opportunities has changed me and made me a better person.-
Anahi Perez
I enjoyed your introduction paragraph on the flashback to where you served the community back in high school. Not many people had to do this while I was in school and it was frustrating to see that they lacked such great experience. I completely agree that at first you simply do it just for a requirement, but once your done you have a whole different mindset. You often think about others that don’t have more food and you also think about ways you could help out. These opportunities and services we see also opens the doors to the problems that we never knew about. It is really good that you included this in the paper because someone who has never done any type of community service might read this and it might persuade them to go out and take part in their community.
In the second paragraph you mentioned that the neighborhood was not what you expected. I am curious to know what you expected. Where did you think it would be? Was it s good neighborhood or bad? How did the Greater Chicago Food Depository look? Was it small or big? If you had a bit more details on the building itself it would make the reader visualize your experience a lot better. It is quite amazing to see that so many people in our surrounding neighborhoods are in need of food. Not many people are aware of this big problem which is why we are here for, to spread the word and contribute to some change in our community. You did your part in helping the depository get these bags of food out to thee families. I also like that you mentioned “why isn’t everybody in the community aware on this situation,” because maybe plenty people know about it but do not contribute. I came to a conclusion that maybe this is why we had to this as a requirement, so that way we could understand the issues outside of our homes.
In your third paragraph the introduction sentence was a little messy and hard to understand. Try to maybe rephrase it. I enjoyed the fact that you included that you made friends the day you went to the depository. It shows that volunteering is not a dreadful and boring thing to do. Becoming friends with people you are working with always makes the task go ten times faster. You learn a lot from other people and socializing is the best way to go when your working for the community. People work in teams and it is always about teamwork!
You mentioned things that you learned about yourself in this experience. Volunteering always brings out great conclusions of who you are as a person. You said you will always make a difference no matter how many people are on this world. That is the best way to go about this experience is to think positively. Would you consider volunteering there again? Or would you try different organizations? Overall really good paper!
-
Alejandro Morales
I had to do community service for my high school in order to graduate. I remember looking at it as an “uggggghhhhh just let me get through these couple hours please!” The worst part about it was that I took the class over the summer so when I wanted to just relax and enjoy the summer I was busy doing community service. I honestly did not mind doing the community service I just think when you are forced to do it then you have such angst for it. Then again if you were not forced to do it, then you probably would not do it. For my community service I helped kids out too. I felt really great after and I really did enjoy what I was doing. I think when we are forced to do community service it truly does help see the person we truly are. For example, yourself, you said how you were so much more open to community service after you did it because you felt great after doing it.
It was really interesting when you put about your grandfather volunteering at a place like the Greater Chicago Food Depository. I always think about how different things were then or maybe the different things they would package or the work they did for that time around. Stuff like that seems to interesting to me and it is really cool that your grandfather did something similar. When you say the neighborhood was not what you expected then you should tell what you thought the neighborhood was going to be. I am curious to see how you thought it would be and how it truly was. Things like that can help the reader better understand the scenery and make visual images as they read your work.
It is good that you were busy. When I did my community service I felt like I was not doing anything for a while and it made the hours go by really slow and then I felt like I was not even helping people. You seemed to be pretty occupied the entire time. You had to have felt great after those numbers you named. Seventeen-hundred is just an insurmountable number that I cannot even fathom. It just seems quite ridiculous that literally just a couple hours of work can much such a huge difference in the world. Imagine if you did that once a week. Only once a week, every week, for a couple years. When you look at it from that stand point you literally are changing the world.
Your passage really talks about the person you are. You show how you really think community service has benefitted you and how much it truly can benefit this society. When you talk about looking at how everyone does not even realize what they all are coming together to do. It is so true. During that moment you do not look at it as you coming with a bunch of people to make a difference in the world, but that truly is exactly what you are doing.
-
-
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is on chapter 7 in “Why White Rice?” The main point of this chapter is about plagiarism. It explains about what plagiarism is and how it can happen. I think plagiarism is a serious issue, but I also think the penalty is a little exaggerated. I agree that other people’s work should be cited if it is not their own. It is not easy to structure a good piece of writing and takes a lot of time. I would be upset if someone took my ideas or copied word for word because the paper I would be doing would have took a lot of work to put together. It is hard to achieve clever word play and it would be a pain if an author found someone else is using their work and not leaving any credit to them. I think that plagiarism is serious and I understand how it would feel if someone got their work plagiarized. Some people just don’t know how serious this issue is to society and especially the person who is getting plagiarized. I see plagiarism as people taking credit for work that you did. For example, if I were to pack and load ten boxes of food to a charity and the other guy next to I slacked. Imagine how mad I would be after doing all that hard work and someone thanked the other guy and did not mention that I did the work. Well writers who have their work plagiarized feel the same way, so remember to cite and credit the author. That was what I thought of the chapter. Reading this chapter made me think about how authors really feel by forming a hypothetical situation in my head that I can relate to.
Troy Swanson, “Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writting” Chapter 7 “Mash it up…gracefully using sources” PGS. 163-174. Kendall Hunt. -
Anthony Stevens
Dear Editor,
Bullying has become a bigger change in the last decade. I think that what used to be a somewhat normal thing for kids to go through in life, but now it has got extreme and now suicide is the only solution to deal with their bullying problem. I say it is very sad and depressing hearing about someone killing themselves due to suicide. Schools should really step up and make some changes when dealing with bullying. I think schools are doing something to help with bullying, but I don’t think it’s enough. When I turn on the news or read the newspaper, I hear stories that some child or teenager has committed suicide because they thought that is the only way to deal with bullying. Many of these stories have even sparked attention, some concerning the LGBT teens out there. The internet can be bad with cyber bullying, on social media sites, but the internet can also let kids and young teens connect with another and share their stories and comfort them with saying that they are not the only one. There is a campaign started on YouTube called It Gets Better. It is about two young men who got bullied as a kid and made a video telling young kids that it does get better. It has snowballed and has made a great impact on kids and many of them even created their own videos. With that said I think schools should join this bandwagon and gain more awareness for bullying and set up programs that are fun and get the students to connect with each other so that they at least feel like there is someone that is there for them.
Sincerely,
Anthony Stevens-
Kristina Marynczak
Your letter has me think and want to place some sort of action but it also gets me as a reader thinking too much and not focusing on the point. What I mean by this is that your letter contains to omany personal opioions. Your stating that suiside is the only solution to deal with their bullying problem. Right there after your second sentence I lost touch and interest in your letter because suiside is the only solution, if in fact if it’s a sulition at all. Also your sentences are too vague. You say schools should step up but how? Now your promblem or way for the reader to take action is vague as well. Or do you not want the reader to take action? Just the schools?? Bur who in the schools?
-
Kristina Marynczak
COMPLETED PEER REVIEW****PLEASE READ THIS NOT ONE ABOVE*******
Your letter has me think and want to place some sort of action but it also gets me as a reader thinking too much and not focusing on the point. What I mean by this is that your letter contains too many personal options. Your stating that suicides are the only solution to deal with their bullying problem. Right there after your second sentence I lost touch and interest in your letter because suicides is the only solution; if in fact if it’s a solution at all….Maybe you meant being bullied leads to suicides? And if not is it a “fact”? If you maybe through in a source or maybe a statistic it might be able t o give the reader the view of how dangerous and common bullying is. I recommend just eliminating/rewording the entire sentence because it doesn’t make sense, is a run on, and confusing. Read this sentence out loud; this is the one referred to, ” I think that what used to be a somewhat normal thing for kids to go through in life, but now it has got extreme and now suicide is the only solution to deal with their bullying problem.” If you read your letter out load or to someone you may see where your sentence structure can improve. Also your sentences are too vague. You say schools should step up but how? Now your problem or way for the reader to take action is vague as well. Or do you not want the reader to take action? Just the schools?? But who in the schools? If you don’t want to tie in a statistic maybe you can in some local or recent news. For example, find a previous article talking about bullying and tye in some of your persuasion from that. You can also maybe just bring up something current. As the reader when I read this I thought, “okay, bullying is an issue but it has been since the begging of time.” Another thing is to maybe explain or spell out LGBT, because I have no idea what that means and you don’t want to confuse the reader or lose their interest. Your semi-solution of having t he school’s students connecting with each other is awesome and an excellent idea. Your overall tone is good, you should concentrate just clarifying and fixing those few parts will create an awesome letter for anyone to hopefully take action or understand the problem we’re facing, Another suggestion is to state all three bullying. Do you want the reader to be aware of bullying in general and does everyone know there is more than just the bully at school? I absolutely loved how you mentioned “It Gets Better.” was very interesting for me because I never heard of it until I read your letter and then I proceeded on the web and viewed it. There are very few mechanical errors.
-
-
Alejandro Morales
“I think that what used to be a somewhat normal thing for kids to go through in life, but now it has got extreme and now suicide is the only solution to deal with their bullying problem.” I think I understand what you mean when you wrote this sentence. However, you cannot write sentences like this assuming every reader is going to interpret the way you want them to. Not everyone’s “normal thing” is the same. What you may think is normal, and what other’s may think is normal may be nowhere near the same thought. Another thing about just this sentence is starting with I think. You are supposed to be persuasive and wanting to address an issue so change can be made. When you start sentences off like this then it looks like you are unsure of what you may want. You need to try and just provide factual evidence, or just give your opinion and just your opinion on the issue. I am not sure what you even define as “extreme” in this first line. The other thing I do not agree with is saying that suicide is the only solution to deal with these problems. There are a lot of other solutions that kids that are getting bullied resort to. Whether it is homicide or something worse or less. I just think that line does not show how much this issue may really mean to you. It looks like you are unsure of this topic and how it may feel to you.
That next line you should really take out I say. Just about every single person that would read this passage would agree with you that it is sad and depressing to hear about someone committing suicide. Whether they do or do not is not the case. Like I was saying before you need to stay strong for what you believe in. You need to just tell the reader it is sad and depressing.
What should schools do when you say they should step up and make changes? Offer some ideas of yours that they can start doing. Talk about some schools they may have already started these changes. Talk about if you were running the schools how you would step up and how would you make the changes for these innocent victims. What are school’s doing to you that is not enough? What have you seen some schools do they you do not believe is enough to solve an issue? I think if you answer some of those questions, or even ask yourself questions similar to that, then you can answer that sort of gap in your writing for the reader.
When you abbreviate something in your writing you need to at least spell it out in parentheses. Not everyone knows what LGBT stands for. If people read this and do not understand what they stands for then they are not going to know what is going on. I know in your paper you talked about what LGBT stands for, but assuming this were to a newspaper, then they would not have read your previous writing to know about that. -
Anahi Perez
First thing I noticed in your letter to the editor was that it lacked a heading. You want to be a professional student when sending off letters to local community papers, so for your final draft just make sure to have a proper heading and not just start off with your concern. Another thing that you used in your letter is the phrase “I think,” make the editor know that you actually know these things for a fact because of course you did research on this topic. State more facts rather than what you think you know, it makes thing much more believable and reliable. Eliminate the phrase “i think” completely when referring to bullying statements.State some statistics so that way we could see how bullying is highly affecting the people around us. Your letter was a bit unorganized, stronger emphasis on bullying tragedies and ways to help out this horrible issue would have made it more persuasive. Maybe you could add local organizations around your neighborhood so that way the editor has a stronger idea on what is going on that he or she might not know about. The letter also doesn’t have a main focus. You mentioned that schools should join the bandwagon and gain more awareness. When I hear the word bandwagon I instantly think sport or music fans. Instead of saying that maybe you should reemphasize and say that school should start becoming more aware of bullying. What type of steps do you think schools should take to make positive changes with the subject of bullying? What is enough to stop bullying? You also mentioned a very small detail about the LGBT teens, but what about them? What does LGBT stand for? You don’t want to loose the reader when using acronyms because if they don’t know what it stands for they might just stop reading. What are the stories of the LGBT teens? Has anything been done, and if not what should be done? Try to be extremely persuasive when talking about bullying because this is what people want to hear. They want this to end and this is up to you to make a great change in the ending of bullying! This letter is all about persuading the editor. Visualize yourself as an editor and read your letter out loud. Double check to see if this is what you would want on the front page of a newspaper. Yes, it is very depressing to hear of people killing themselves because of these things but how should schools step up? You also mentioned “cyber bullying on social media sites but the internet can also let kids and young teens connect with one another and share their stories and comfort one another,” this is kind of sloppy in a way because your contradicting the internet. Maybe some example of an online hotline would make things a lot more clear and persuasive. I love the fact that you chose bullying for your letter, just make sure to revise it and make it as persuasive as possible!
-
-
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is about chapter two in “Why White Rice?” One story in the chapter that caught my attention is “Quit Complaining-Go Back and Read the Damn Poem”. It talked about different things like how the arts programs in school are the first to get cut out. I think it is sad and pointless that arts and music are being cut before gym classes. Physical activity is important and that I understand, but music and art are important as well and it is no one’s saying that one is more important than the others. The main thing that grabbed my attention is that the author says to go back and re-read poems and lyrics even if you “get it”. He says there are many different meanings and interprations of everything. It got my attentions because I think that it is true with everything in life. Most people are concerned on what things really mean and what other people say about those things. It is up to you and your own perception of things. People have different opinions and different opinons and different reasons for those opinons and you should hear them out because your own perception may change on certain things. I think everyone should read deeper into things then just what is on the surface. It could give you a different perspective on things and life.
— DeVillez, Eric. “Quit Complaining-Go Back and Read the Damn Poem.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 56. Print -
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is going to be on chapter 5 section 5.7 called “how Google works”. I think everyone searches Google a handful of times a day in a day. If Google was never thought of then I don’t know where everyone would get there research because their first place to look is Google. I like how this chapter talked about parts of Google I had no idea on. I didn’t know that the first topic that comes up on a search is the one with the most clicks on it. I had no idea that the websites close to the top actually pay the most money for Google to sponsor them. When I kept reading it turned out that all of the statements are in fact false. It shows and explains that Google is a huge popularity contest. It turns out that they copy every Web site possible into a huge database then when someone types in a word Google finds every site that has that word in it. Then it ranks the results based on an ingenious method. When someone searches Google the site comes up to the top of the search represents the ENTIRE web. Technically saying that Google does not magically read you mind and knows what you’re looking for a college paper or project. I like the tips that are provided on for using Google. I didn’t know that anyone can purchase an .org. I thought it was just for organizations, but it turns out that anyone can purchase and .org. I also didn’t know that you can set your preferences in Google. Overall I really enjoyed this chapter.
— McGuire, Michael. “Googling Is Not the Same as Thinking.” Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub, 2010. 119-20. Print -
Anthony Stevens
Elevator Speech outline
Outline (elevator speech)
Intro- I only have a few minutes to talk about a large topic, my topic is same-sex marriage. Whether you are for it or against it i feel that everyone should give these people a chance to get married like everyone else.1st point- Same-sex couples are allowed Civil Union options because the state they live in don’t allow same-sex marriages. Civil Union options don’t allow certian benefits that marriage couples have. For instance, Same-sex couples won’t have Social Security benefits, health insurance, and even hospital visitation. So if a woman wanted to see her partner in the hospital, she is not allowed because she is not a member of her family. If they were to be married they would be allowed to have those benefits mentioned earlier.
Point 2. In the Constitution, there has been nothing said about homosexuality being something to be condone. There is no law protecting homosexuals so discrimination is considered legal. They say people should not be discriminated due to race or sex so why is sexual orientation any different? The country was founded to strongly fact religion would be separate from the law. If religion aspects of the United States are supposed to be separated in the legal system, how come a single Bible verse is keeping same-sex couples from being married?
Point 3. In Illinois, Governor Pat Quinn signed a bill in January 31, 2011 to become a law that was approved in December 2010. The bill referred to the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act, which allows homosexual and heterosexual couples to enter into civil unions, giving some of the same benefits that are available to married couples. This includes the right to see a sick partner in the hospital, disposition of a deceased loved one’s remains and the right to make decisions about a loved one’s medical care.Twenty-nine other states have laws that are similar to this Act. The other Thirty-nine states have laws that state that a marriage is between a man and a woman. However there are eleven states including the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriages. In the most recent news, California passed Proposition Eight which banned Gay marriage.
Conclusion: There are many ways to help with this issue. In news stories there maybe a story about a teen that is gay that would commit suicide because they feel that no one accepts them. The Trevor Project Hotline is a great one to help out with. It is a hotline that is nationwide suicide prevention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. You can volutneer as a life line counselor where you can answer calls from young people who are struggling with many issues including sexual orientation. Even thought it’s in New York I reccomend checking out the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center’s website at http://www.gaycenter.org. They have alot of info about the LGBT community. Also learn about how we can help other states allow gay marriage I reccomend visiting http://www.noh8campaign.com. Their mission is to promote marriage, gender, and human equality through education, advocacy, social media, and visual protest. Give the LGBT a chance to get married because they are people just like us. They don’t deserve to be discriminated against and not having the chance to get married because again they are people just like you and me.
-
Anthony Stevens
Homosexuality
The issue being discussed is about same-sex marriage. In history, homosexuality had been a part of human culture since the earliest of history. It has been accepted in Greece by being used in art. Homosexuality has also been disapproved due to cultures with the Christian, Islamic and Jewish religions because it offends the divine law, a “crime against nature” practiced by choice, and subject to severe penalties. Most of the time the punishment would be to burn them as to “purify” the unholy action. As time went by, societies began to talk about homosexuality after a gay rights movement began in 1969. It was viewed as a mental illness to be cured; now it is investigated more as part of a bigger impulse on sexual practice and identity. Throughout history gay people have always been discriminated against. They have been denied equal treatment in court and have been victims of violence and harassment in society on the subject of sexual orientation. Even the CIA, FBI, and the National Security Agency deny open gays employment due to their sexual orientation. People tend to say that marriage should be between a man and a woman and that gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of marriage. They also think that children raised by gay couples will too become gay due to the face that they are being raised by same-sex parents. These reasons are fueled by hate and ignorance. If people were to take time out to see that these people are of America and not strangers from a distant land. People bash all they want about the subject, but they fail to recognize the pain they cause to these people. Some people condemn those by saying God hates Gays or that gays should be put to their death don’t realize that they have hurt and harmed a person’s psyche by saying that they should die if they are gay. What happened to “love thy neighbor as thyself?” many things in the bible have been misconstrued. People back in Biblical ages were focused mainly on having families and making babies. It is not a problem with people, it is a problem with the religion not knowing how to follow the Bible and truly understand what God’s commands are. The legal and social status of the LGBT people (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) depends greatly in the world and remains contested in political and religious debate in many places in the world, especially in America.
So what is the problem involving Homosexuality? Certain states have Civil Union options for same-sex couples because those states do not allow same-sex marriage. The difference between marriage and civil unions is that marriage offers benefits and protections that civil unions won’t allow. The areas that same-sex couples are affected in include Social Security benefits, veteran, health insurance, Medicaid, hospital visitation, estate taxes, retirement savings, pensions, family leave, and immigration law (Hartman). For example if a woman’s partner was in the hospital, she would not be allowed to see her because she is not family. Freedom of speech and association, liberty, and equal treatment are basic human rights that everyone refer to in court as civil rights, because they are known as important rights that every person in America should not be denied on the basis of sexual orientation, race, or religious belief. Since humans have begun documenting history, homosexuality has existed. According to the Constitution, there was never anything said about homosexuality was something to be condoned in the United States nor to be allowed. There is no law protecting homosexuals so discrimination is considered legal. People should not be discriminated against because of race or sex so is sexual orientation be any different? The country was founded to strongly fact religion would be separate from the law. If religion aspects of the United States are supposed to be separated in the legal system, how come a single Bible verse is keeping same-sex couples from being married? It doesn’t sound like church and the state are separated.
Some things are being done already. In June of 1969 a group of homosexual customers of a popular gay bar in the Greenwich Village of New York City, called the Stonewall Inn, grew upset because police who go by the bar harassed the customers and the customers were upset that they would be harassed by the police. They ended up taking a stand and forming a riot. It started to spread and soon other gays and lesbians joined and started throwing things at the police shouting “gay power.” The police tried to beat off the crowd, but the crowd returned the next night with a crowd count of more than one thousand people. For the next few days, demonstrations of intensity took place throughout the city. The Stonewall Riot inspired the LGBT people throughout the country to organize in the support of gay rights, and within a couple years after the riots, groups have been created and started in nearly every major city in the United States (Adiatu). Now people say that the Gay Pride parades that are held annually around the U.S and the world are in fact inspired by the Stonewall Riots. In Chicago there is a Pride parade that attracts many LGBT people and even straight people. The month of June is when the Pride parades are celebrated. In Illinois, Governor Pat Quinn signed a bill in January 31, 2011 to become a law that was approved in December 2010. The bill referred to the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act, which allows homosexual and heterosexual couples to enter into civil unions, giving some of the same benefits that are available to married couples. This includes the right to see a sick partner in the hospital, disposition of a deceased loved one’s remains and the right to make decisions about a loved one’s medical care (Civil Unions & Domestic Partnership Statues). Twenty-nine other states have laws that are similar to this Act. The other Thirty-nine states have laws that state that a marriage is between a man and a woman. However there are eleven states including the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriages. In recent news, California passed Proposition Eight which banned on the marriage of same-sex couples.There are ways that anyone can help with this issue. The biggest way to help is to registering to vote. Anyone can tell our government how they feel about by voting. Picking a candidate who supports civil rights and same-sex marriage. Writing a letter to your state senator or representative would help because they are elected by everyday people like you. You can also send emails, petition, or the popular strong worded letters and emails; any of these ways can help because you are telling them how you feel about this issue. There are also service opportunities that people can get involved with. One project is called the Trevor Project. This is a free, confidential suicide prevention helpline for LGBT and questioning youth. I think it is a great project because I have heard from news stories in the past that a kid has committed suicide because they are homosexual. This would help wonderfully because then there would be more youth still living and not dead. It also provides online support to young people and resources for parents and educators. Some parents don’t know much about this subject so by giving them resources would allow them to do some research about this subject so they don’t end up kicking out their kid. The Trevor Project Hotline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. You can contact the Trevor Hotline in a time of need at (866)-488-7386. You can volunteer for The Trevor Project over the phone by being a life line counselor. They Lifeline counselors answer calls from young people who are struggling with a many of the issues surrounding their sexual orientation, gender identity, coming out, depression and suicide. They Lifeline counselors answer calls from young people who are struggling with a many of the issues surrounding their sexual orientation, gender identity, coming out, depression and suicide. To be a counselor you have to fill out the application online at thetrevorproject.org (About Trevor). By helping these teens through their time of need is going to make them stronger individuals and may become future activists for the LBGT community. You can attend the Gay Pride Parades throughout the United States and support businesses with openly gay workers and owners. Like JC Penny. Ellen DeGeneres is an openly gay actress, stand-up comedian, television host, civil rights activist, and now the new face of JC Penny. Recently there was a new organization that opened up called One Million Moms. They’re motto is that they’re for traditional family values and that Ellen DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at their stores. Ellen addressed this issue on her show. She claims that usually she doesn’t pay attention to her “haters” but this time they are motivators. Of course these women are fueled by ignorance. If someone tries to avoid the problem of mixing of homosexuals just out of convenience, they are just as irresponsible as those who did not take side when the country was severely divided when it came to the question about slavery, women’s right to vote, and African Americans’ equal protection rights. The history of tolerance is going to reach another landmark, and no one should miss the opportunity to raise his or her voice.Where can someone learn more about this subject? If someone would want to learn more about the LGBT community or people then you can go to http://www.gaycenter.org/. It says it is located in New York, but you can still learn more about the issue and learn on how to help with this issue. Their mission states: “”The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center provides a home for the birth, nurture and celebration of our organizations, institutions and culture; cares for our individuals and groups in need; educates the public and our community; and empowers our individuals and groups to achieve their fullest potential.” You can contact them at:
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual &
Transgender Community Center
208 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011
Website: http://www.gaycenter.org
Phone: 212-620-7310
Fax: 212-924-2657
• To learn about what you can do to help other states allow gay marriage visit http://www.noh8campaign.com/. Their mission states: The NOH8 Campaign is a charitable organization whose mission is to promote marriage, gender and human equality through education, advocacy, social media, and visual protest. NOH8 is one of the most recognizable charities among the United States to promote Gay Civil Rights.General Information: info@noh8campaign.com
Store / Product Question: store@noh8campaign.com
Press Inquiries: press@noh8campaign.comTo learn more about the history of the Gay Civil Rights Movement and for what’s happening now visit http://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights. The American Civil Liberties Union’s (ACLU for short) mission statement: The ACLU is our nation’s guardian of liberty, working daily in courts, legislatures and communities to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties that the Constitution and laws of the United States guarantee everyone in this country. They not only protect gay people but they protect people of our population that have traditionally been denied their rights including people of color; women, prisoners, and people with disabilities. When the state of Tennessee passed a law banning the teaching of evolution, the ACLU recruited biology teacher John T. Scopes to challenge the law by teaching the banned subject in his class. When Scopes was eventually prosecuted, the ACLU partnered with celebrated attorney Clarence Darrow to defend him. After the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, President Franklin Roosevelt ordered all people of Japanese descent, most of whom were American citizens, be sent to “war relocation camps.” The ACLU, led by its California affiliates, stood alone in speaking out about this atrocity. ACLU has grown from that roomful of civil libertarians to more than 500,000 members. The ACLU today is the nation’s largest public interest law firm, with a 50-state network of staffed, autonomous affiliate offices. They appear before the United States Supreme Court more than any other organization except the U.S. Department of Justice. About 100 ACLU staff attorneys collaborate with about 2,000 volunteer attorneys in handling close to 6,000 cases annually. The ACLU is non-profit and non-partisan.
• National Office:
American Civil Liberties Union
125 Broad Street, 18th Floor
New York, NY 10004-2400
(212) 549-2500
E-mail: infoaclu@aclu.org
Works cited
• About Trevor.” thetrevorproject.org. N.p., 2010. Web. 12 Feb 2012.
.Adiatu, Dayo. “Stonewall Riots: The Beginning of the LGBT Movement.” civilrights.org.
The Leadership Conference Education Fund, 06 22 2009 . Web. 12 Feb 2012.“Civil Unions & Domestic Partnership Statutes.” ncsl.org. National Conference of State
Legislatures, 07 2011. Web. 15 Feb 2012. <http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/human-
services/civil-unions-and-domestic-partnership-statutes.aspx“Ellen DeGeneres Rips One Million Moms’ Anti-Gay Boycott, Thanks JC Penney Partnership
Supporters.” huffingtonpost.com. heHuffingtonPost.com, Inc, 02 08 2012. Web. 12 Feb
2012. .Hartman, Holly. “A Primer on Same-Sex Marriage, Civil Unions, Domestic Partnerships, and Defense of Marriage Acts Read more: A Primer on Same-Sex Marriage, Civil Unions,
Domestic Partnerships, and Defense of Marriage Acts.” infoplease.com. Pearson Education Inc., 2007. Web. 12 Feb 2012. .“Prop. 8 Unconstitutional!.” eqca.org. Equality California Institute, 02 2012. Web. 13
Feb 2012. .-
Anahi Perez
I was glad to see that you chose homosexuality as your guide to an Issue for this project. We go on a daily basis around homosexuals, and people still somehow see this as a problem or an issue. I really liked the fact that your writing explains that they are no different then anybody else.
In the first paragraph on the overview of this issue I felt as if you could have used far more details to make the reader understand more behind this current issue. You mentioned that people viewed homosexuality as a mental illness to be cured, but it only made me curious as to how these people would try cure the so called “illness.” I really like the fact that you included the biblical quote “love thy neighbor,” it shows a strong emphasis that people should look at other in equal ways no matter who they choose to love. More details to the overview and the background of this issue would have been easier to understand this issue. It started off from early history, then it skipped to just a couple decades ago. What happened between this whole gap?
The second paragraph made me realize that there was actually more to this issue that not many people are aware of including myself. Although they are allowed to marry in a numerous amounts of states they are still denied rights. By having this in your portfolio convinced me to act upon this issue and do some research on my own time in the LGBT community. This whole portfolio was about persuading the reader to act upon this issue and you did a great job at it.
You had a very strong point about how the government is founded on how they should keep the church separated, but they are currently failing at doing so. I am a strong supporter of that, because there are other problems occurring from that same issue that need to come to a stop.
On your section of “what is being done” I felt as if the event of 1969 was such a long time ago that at this point it really doesn’t matter. I would be more interested if it was current things that have been done within the past few years. Although you did mention that the riot sparked changes what else has been done except the states allowing same sex marriage. Is there anything that has happened within the past few months?
I really like how you included that registering to vote would make a difference in the LGBT movement. Not all people in the United States vote, and maybe this could change that factor and help out these issues. Although people think not one person could make a difference they are completely wrong. One vote does make a difference, especially in the homosexual community. I also loved the fact that you included hotline numbers in your project. I constantly hear of young homosexuals committing suicide and I am more than positive that these hotline will make a large influence in a persons life.
Overall I really enjoyed your project on Homosexuality and it definitely persuaded me to take part in this movement. -
Alejandro Morales
In the first paragraph you start to get into some really interesting things with the purifying and mental illnesses, but I think you left it blank there. Those are really good attention grabbers and I was hoping for an answer to those questions. For the first paragraph I think you should try to go a little more in depth or see if you can find any stories relating to that topic. Try to talk about the CIA, FBI, and NSA and why they deny open gays.
You did a great job in the second paragraph talking about the benefits that gay couple’s aren’t given from the Civil Union. As soon as I read that I wanted to know what the benefits may be, and you answered them instantly. You also did a good job giving an example with the woman and her partner. I didn’t know that they were denied all these rights so I think that is a very good job on your part in explaining how exactly they are not treated equally.
Another thing I liked about your writing piece was how you were not afraid to talk about the government and the bible. You say how it doesn’t seem as if the state and the church are separated, and it is so true. Way to get to the real core of the problem. Talking about years and years ago where it never says gays were to be condoned in the United States.
One of the most powerful parts of your essay was the Stonewall Inn story. Although it was many, many years ago it still was a very inspirational act. They finally couldn’t take it anymore and stood up for what they believed in. The most powerful line I read in your writing was, “The police tried to beat off the crowd, but the crowd returned the next night with a crowd count of more than one thousand people.” That line in itself is so inspirational. In a matter of twenty four hours they gathered so many people to fight in something they believe in. If people just did this for everything they believe in, then we would be able to change so many more things. It seems like people are too afraid to do anything anymore and they rather just hide and be quiet instead of starting a riot to fight for what they believe in.
Although I really found that to be inspirational I think you should try to find more things like that to lead into more of a present time era. 1969 was forty three years ago. That’s a long time. I think you should use that story, but add more recent stories to show how people really care about this topic and want to fight for this right.
You did a great job in your “what can be done” section. You gave a lot of ways to help out the cause if someone really wanted to get involved. You gave specific websites, places, and contact numbers. You did very well on that section.
-
Arianna Wright
First off, I really think that you should re-word the first sentence. “The issue being discussed is about same-sex marriage.” There are so many ways that you could introduce your issue. You can start off with a quote, an interesting fact or something but make it catchy, don’t be afraid to be creative. I’m glad that you chose to do your portfolio piece on homosexuality because that a topic that nobody really talks about unless it’s in a negative or bashing way. It’s also a topic that a lot of people don’t choose to do papers on so this was a good choice!
In my opinion, any kind of discrimination is wrong. I believe that everyone should be considered human no matter what color you are, no matter what your religion is, and no matter what gender you find attractive. I do believe that every state should have same sex marriage because even though I am a Christian I still believe that everyone should be entitled to love who they want to love, and marry whoever they want to marry.
As far as informing us on how we can get involved, I see that you mentioned a confidential suicide prevention helpline but nowhere in your piece did you really mention anything about suicide. I personally think that you should talk a little bit about it and tie into homosexuality.
Overall, I think your paper was alright. You did a really good job describing what can be done but I definately think that you should explain the issue a little bit more.
-
-
Anthony Stevens
This week for my Journal entry is about the first chapter in the “Why White Rice.” Before I read this chapter I felt unconfident about my writing. After reading the first chapter of Why White Rice, I felt more confident about my writing. The chapter talked about how to be confident in your writing. The chapter included good stories and examples on how someone can believe in themself when writing instead of bringing themselves down. While reading this chapter I read about things to avoid while putting ideas on paper and how to write. I had teachers in high school that would explain good writing, but for me didn’t help me quite enough. The one thing that they would focus on was grammar rather than on what to write about. This would get me a not so good score because I would focus so much on the grammar and seeing if it’s right instead of the actual writing itself. I am a shy person, and that’s why I like my communication in a small group or in writing. That’s when I would write or type about news, cool stories, or my feelings. Before I read the chapter I would not be so confident about other people reading my writing and talking about it. After reading the chapter, I feel better because I can be a good writer and be proud about it. I also learned that writing is a practice and I can write over and over to even allow my family and friends to read and give feedback on my work.
DeVilez, Eric. “Myth Busting”. Why White Rice? Thinking Through Writing. Kendall Hunt Pub 2010. 1-24. Print -
Anthony Stevens
Activism and service. I had an idea on what service but not Activism. After the discussion on Activism and Service, I had a better understanding on the two of them. I thought that service and activism were similar to each other. I ended up learning that service is something you volunteer at and help the issue. Activism is when you or a group of people dedicate to help an issue as well as change it. Both have a big difference in our world today. And when we disscussed these issues in class myself and some other people would do a service rather than activism. The reason why is that activism is more difficult than a service. I say activism is difficult because it would be hard to convince other people to help. No matter what it turns out we can make a difference in any way we can big or small. Thats my view on it.
-
Anthony Stevens
This week’s journal entry is called Village Voice. It is about Rajeev Goyal. Rajeev was part of a second generation Indian family that immigrated to the United StatesRajeev served in the Peace Corps from 2001-2003 in eastern Nepal. I have heard of the Peace Corps but I did not know much about the Peace Corps. After reading this, I know have a good idea on what a member of the Peace Corps actually does, how one of them can make a difference. At twenty-two years old he is in a different country in a small village helping them by giving them water instantly. It would usuallly take three days to get water but he got them water instantly. In order to make this project work he would have to organize labor. It was a difficult task because the village was small and probably no one knew where it is. Turns out that five hundred and thirty-five people helped volunteer. In the end, He is able to bring water to Nepal. After I read this journal I was amazed on how one person made a difference to a small village. It taught me and showed me that one person can make a difference. I was surprised that celebrities wanted to help with this project including Jay-Z and Beyonce. In my mind I think of ways I myself can make a difference, but I think it has to be something big like what Rajeev did. After reading this I learned that I can make a difference even with many little things because even the little things count as well.
— Hesser, Peter. “A Reporter at Large: Village Voice, The Peace Corp’s Brightest Hope.” New York: The New Yorker.2010. 101-109. Splatter.writing101.net: The Messy Art of Writing. Web 9 Feb. 2012. -
Anthony Stevens
For the “Who should survive” activity to me was odd because it you had to choose which four people had to die. For my picks on who should die are Mrs. Hernandez, Mr. Newton, Mrs.Clark, and Father Phillip. Father Phillip and Mrs. Hernandez to me would have not brought much use in the bomb shelter. Mr. Newton because he seemed like he was going to bring drama and no one likes drama. as for Mrs. Clark, i just didn’t see on what she could bring to the bomb shelter. i decided to keep Bobby Lang, Mary White, and Jean Hernandez because they are young and they have their whole lives ahead of them. I kept Mr and Mrs Lang because they both are teachers and they can educate the children. Mrs. Lang is also a Counselor so if anyone has problems she can calm them down. Mr. Young is a mechanic so i thought he would be a big help if anything was broken so he can fix it. i kept Dr. Garcia despite that he had 2 heart attacks, he is a doctor with alot of experience and i find that useful. i found my choices to be fair and not bias.
-
Anthony Stevens
This journal is about David Egger’s ” What it means when a crowd in a faraway nation takes a soldier representing your own nation, shoots him, drags him from his vehicle and then mutilates him in the dust.” I thought the man was concerned about the dead soilder and puzzled on how he died. The man sounded very anxious from the beginning. He felt like he needed to do something or get something done, but it turns out he has nothing to do or to complete. After looking at the photo of the dead soilder he sounded panicked and upset that he couldn’t see where the shot was nor if someone was around him. He felt angry and upset because he no way on finding out on who killed him and where the shot was. The man probably had those feelings about doing something because he probably wanted to do something about dead soilder like finding information on how he died. He might have thought so much on this picture because it was bothering him and he knew somthing was not right. He probably had kept it on his mind for a long time.
Eggers, Dave. “How We Are Hungry”, What It Means When A Crowd In A Faraway Nation Takes A Soldier Representing Your Own Nation, Shoots Him, Drags Him From His Vehicle And Then Mutilates Him In The Dust. McSweeney’s, 2004. pgs 17-18. Splatter: The Messy Art of Writing.Web. 2 Feb. 2012 -
Anthony Stevens
What I live for? What I die for? What I kill for?
What I live for? What I die for? And what I kill for? These seemed like easy questions to me at first, but I later found out it really got me thinking. If I were to answer at the top of my head I would give just a one word answer and not fully explain it. I also may say something selfish and I’m not much of a selfish person. So I’m going to be talking about some non-selfish things that I would live, die, and kill for. I would live for my family and friends, I would die for my family, and I would kill for equality in our society.
First, I would live for my family and friends. Although my family may fight and have arguments, but at the end of the day we are still family and we love and care about each other. My family is important to me because they are the reason I get up in the morning. Without my family, I won’t know why I’m still living. They motivate me to do great things, they are my support team, and my family encourages me to do my best every day. Again at times we have our bad days or pick arguments with each other, but in the end we are a loving family. With my family’s support I learned how to become a caring, sweet, and funny person I am today. I am half Mexican and half Italian. So in both cultures family is everything and I say I truly think family is everything to me. I would also live for my friends. My friends also helped me out through thick and thin because when I needed someone to talk to other than my parents or sister; they were always there to talk to. When I’m down and sad they would either talk to me about what I was upset about or find some way to make me smile or laugh. In return if they felt upset or down I would do the same things they would do for me. I would cheer them up or talk to them about their problem. In a way they showed me how to be a better friend by being more understanding and to listen more clearly. Even though we would bicker about a lot of things we still are friends and still help each other out. I would live for my family and friends because in a way they showed me ways to be a more caring person and caring for them is such a blessing because without them I won’t know why I’m still living.
Next, I would die for my family. In a life or death situation that involved me or my family to die, I would die for them. My family means everything to me and I wouldn’t know what to do with them in my life. They taught me how to do many things and loved me for my entire life. When I was ill they would make me feel better in any way they can because they cared about me and I would do the same for them. When I needed help with anything they would help me the best way they can. From helping me feel better when I’m sick, to helping me with tough homework questions they were always there to help. Even taking my sister and I to our favorite locations for vacation. That is why if it was between me or my family to die, it would be me to die because my family does not deserve to die after all the wonderful things they have done for me.
Finally, I would kill for equality in our society. Every day on the news or in the newspaper I would hear someone is killed or commits suicide because someone told them that they didn’t like them because of who they are. Hearing that makes me angry because innocent people are dead because someone says they don’t look or act like everyone else. It doesn’t just happen with adults, it happens with kids as well with bullying. The thought of bullying is ridiculous because all it does it makes people bad and unable to be themselves because they are continuously picked on about what they wear, their nationality, race, sexual orientation, and many other things. In some cases, the person feels so bad about themselves they end up killing themselves because they feel like they don’t believe they should live in this world. Hearing these stories made me feel sad because some of those people were young and had their whole life ahead of them. And they kill themselves because someone told them they didn’t fit in because they are being themselves. And to be honest I wasn’t very open minded at first about something’s involving people’s race, nationality, etc. I would feel uncomfterable and would just try to avoid talking about the subject. I am willing to become more open minded and willing to learn about some of these things. I would be more comfterable if I learn more about these different things. If I learn more I would change of what I think about them. From stereotypical thinking to actually knowing about what they are all about.
In conclusion, I would live and die for my family yet kill for equality in the world. I live for the people who mean a lot to me. I die for the people who loved me my entire life even though we don’t always agree. And I kill for equality because everyone is different in their own special way and no one should tell them differently. And quoting from Lady Gaga “Because you were born this way.” Although everyone lives, dies, and kills for something different, but we all live, die, and kill for something. From having a big house, nice body, or your own family everyone has something they would live, die, or kill for. I thought at first that these questions would be a piece of cake to answer. But it turned out to get me to think long and hard about what and how I were to answer these questions And in my answers I would live for my family and friends, die for my family, and I would kill for equality in the world because everyone is different in their own way. Now try asking yourself what would you live for? What would you die for? And what would you kill for? Think these questions are easy? Think hard about these questions because they are not that easy. They really get you thinking long and hard about what you’re going to say and how to say them that would affect you as a person. You are probably going to have different answers than everyone else, but they are your own responses. After answering these questions myself, I learned to appreciate the people I care about even more than before because they are one of the reasons I am living today. Because without them I wouldn’t have the love and support that they give me in order to go through life. This also gave me a review on why I am the person I am today.
-
Alejandro Morales
You clearly stated the answers to your three questions that were supposed to be addressed in the paper. However, you reiterate on your points way too much and they become repetitive. Your paper starts to become confusing as you read on because the entire paper is written how you would speak. It is okay if you want to make a paper informal, I actually believe informal papers catch the reader’s attention a lot more. With that being said you can’t just write how you would talk. Your sentences are choppy and they are incomplete thoughts. When you start your sentence with “and” or “but” all the time it shows your thoughts are incomplete. One thing I would try to do is combine those sentences. When you combine them, you eliminate that constant improper sentence structure. Another thing I would advise is to eliminate the five paragraph essay format. The paper is too long to be just five paragraphs. When your paragraphs are that long the reader’s eyes become accustomed to the same form and don’t catch your points as well. Try to get rid of the three reasons you plan on talking about in your introduction. Try using a quote, or an attention grabbing sentence.
Your paper has all of the requirements to be a great paper, you just need to restructure the way you address all of those points. When you talk about what you live for stick to just one thing. You can address other things that you feel are important to your everyday life, but only have one thing that you devote your life to. I think another thing that can help your paper is not using basic transitions like first, next, in conclusion, and others like that. Try to use more transitions throughout the body of your essay, not only in the beginning. Think of words like however, therefore, with that being said, to continue, to elaborate, and others like that.
It shows in your paper that you truly care about others in your life. Your family seems to be a huge asset in your life. You also show that you accept others for who they truly are, and not the outside image that is given off. You believe in equality and that everyone deserves the same opportunities regardless of the color of someone’s skin, or the beliefs they have.
I think you should try and focus on yourself when you are writing this essay. You start talking about your beliefs and then you start giving examples, or talking about how society is. While you give examples about society, talk about how they personally affects you and makes you want to kill to fix that. Killing is obviously a huge thing, and it takes a lot of meaning to want to do something to that extremity. Talk about how it enrages you and makes you want to ever resort to that. Wanting to kill because you care about something shows the person you really are. Talk about how those things describe how you may be.Overall I think this paper has the proper requirements to be good. I think you just need to restructure your body and it can be great! Nice points, these are very hard questions to answer.
-
Anahi Perez
It is quite hard to capture your thoughts by simply writing an essay on what somebody lives for, would die and kill for. I found myself reading this essay a couple times, it needed an attention grabber. I found it somewhat boring. What I found most noticeable was the fact that the subject bullying was brought into this essay. It is a very common problem on this present society for teenager to give up their life due to words that are being harshly said to them. It is also a very powerful term to just keep it simple, writing a bit more in depth about how emotionally you felt about it would have made it interesting.
The main meaning in this essay is family. Family is a constant existence, therefore should be described a little more thoroughly. Explain the importance and include it with very in depth detail. The sentences held within the paragraphs seemed to be out of order and not put quite well together. The word “etc,” was used in the essay, but what exactly does etc mean to you? This essay was not meant to kept short and to the point. It is confusing when reading to properly understand exactly how you feel about these questions. In the essay you said, “Think these questions are easy,” in fact they are not, it takes time to actually critically understand and respond, but a bit more pieces of information would have made it ten times better. Examples would had also made a huge impact in the understanding of your physical emotions.The way the essay was written, it sounded as if you were in a classroom and given these questions with only seconds to briefly think and portray the subjects. The structure was very poor, I feel like the reasons you held were so powerful that it just needed way more detail to fully understand and read your potential. The questions were indeed answered and completed in the essay. The lady gaga six letter quote had a very great connection in the way you strongly felt about equality in the world, and how we hold a purpose in life. I completely understand how it feels to hear terrible news about lives that are thrown away due to hate. It honestly breaks my heart to hear such tragedies. It is a very great feeling to know that I am not the only one that hears about these things, and that my classmates are also emotionally affected by these horrifying news.
I come to understand that family is a large importance in your life, they are the basic structure that holds your life together. Your family and friends are your full time support system. You also came into a conclusion that after the disputes within one another, there is no type of permanent separation, the love continues to grow within another. Family is a very strong asset to keep your life on the move. Your presentation on family caught my eye the most because I am a strong believer in family.
-
-
Anthony Stevens
I believe that ecological literacy means that you are aware of the environment and what’s going on around you. This includes animals, plants, and human environments that are involved in the ecosystem. I believe someone can be ecologically literate by doing activites for example join clubs or charities that are about saving the environment. You can become ecologically literate by doing normal everyday activites like recycling, reusing, taking public transportation, even carpooling to and from work. These are some ways that can make someone ecologically literate and these are positive ways, but there are also negative ways. If someone were to do something negative or positive there would be a reaction for their actions. For myself, I think i’m ecologically literate because I do recycle and take public transportation when I can. By doing these things, I know that i’m helping the environment in some way. I personally feel like I’m not much of a help because I feel like I can do more, but I am not sure of what I can do. If I can research and educate more on the subject, I would be able to spread the word to inform friends and family about helping the environment. If we become more ecologically literate then we all would be in communities and in an environment where there would be peace.
— Capra, Fritjof. “From The Web of Life.” Splatter.writing101.net. Web. 25 Jan. 2012 -
Anthony Stevens
The grading contract is fair. It gets right to the point and very helpful.
James Jeszke is discussing. 
Alejandro Morales, 
Anahi Perez, and 
Maura Bilek are discussing. 
Kristina Marynczak are discussing. 
Arianna Wright, 
James Jeszke 8:34 pm on May 7, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
3 annotated for paper 2.