Lee McKinnis (57)
Kristina Marynczak (37)
Killian Noonan (36)
Melissa Castillo (32)
NikoVelazquez (27)
Shannon Ratzel (23)
Michelle Reyes (22)
Kyle Barczak (21)
Maura Bilek (21)
Susan Bayaa (21)
For this week’s journal entry I wanted to write about the Act Out Fair. It actually ended up turning out really well I think. I am pretty sure Professor McGuire was extremely nervous about the entire event because if we did not pull through for him, then he would have looked really bad in front of all the volunteer representatives who came, and in front of the department of Moraine Valley Community College. For that reason I do not blame him for probably stressing and stressing about the issue. All in all I think he was very proud of us and we made him pretty happy. As for my experience, it was really, really great. My group and I presented our tri fold for The Little Red School House. Our volunteer representative was Yvonne Woulf and she was awesome! She talked about anything and everything. The first thing she asked us about was our majors. She wanted to know about us before she even asked about how our experience was at the Little Red School House. Then she was telling us about how important volunteering and things like that. She said that she has been working with the Little Red School House for over thirty years now I believe. She used to teach grade school, high school, college, she had a master’s degree, she was extremely interesting! I learned so much more about the Little Red School House and nature itself just from the little bit of time we spent with her. It was a great experience and I am glad everything worked out!
Citation
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Alejandro Morales
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Alejandro Morales
While looking for something to read and write about in “Why White Rice” I stumbled across a titled section, “Find a real expert, ask her useful questions, and really listen to her answers!” by Tom Dow. The first sentence starts off saying, “In my response piece titles ‘The Ones That Got Away,’ I talk about interviewing my grandmothers. As soon as I read that first sentence I knew this had to be the piece. I did last week’s Reading Research Journal on “The Ones That Got Away.” “Find a real expert, ask her useful questions, and really listen to her answer!” is all about using credible sources and to go about that by interviewing. However, not just interviewing anybody will get the job done. You need to interview actual experts in that field that you are looking to for answers. For example, going to your parents is not a credible source for research. Although they may know more about a topic than we do, they do not qualify as an expert source. Interviewing someone can be extremely beneficial, however, you need to make sure you ask the proper questions or else you are just wasting your time and the interviewee’s time. You need to focus on questions that talk about their educational background. When doing this we are really seeing if they qualify as an expert source. Another question to focus on is the types of things they specifically do each day involving that field. Another great question is how they FEEL about the field that they are constantly participating in. So to sum things up, interviewing is a great means of getting information, but if you do not go about interviewing the right people AND asking the right questions, then you are not benefitting yourself at all.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
Invasive Species and Our Environment
Usually when we are given group work for a class you either decide to go with your friends, or you are just randomly put into a group. However, Professor McGuire had us do a little “speed dating” game. We all had about one minute to talk with one another and decide in that short interval of time who would be a good match for us and our group. We were able to learn about strengths and weaknesses about one another and what someone was looking for in a group or what someone was not looking for in a group. I had never done something like this, and honestly it makes so much sense. You do not want to just work with your best friend and choosing people at random does not do anything for yourself either. We were able to find people who we thought would be the best match for what we wanted in a group. Needless to say, I am 100% satisfied with the group members that I am currently working with.
The following class we met with our group members and talked about an organization to follow with. Find out what they do for the society, how they originated, why they are here, what started them, what is the culture, where does the motivation drive from, and so forth. Of course each one of us had different ideas, but we all had different outlooks how on we could help society. None of our ideas were dumb; we just did not see all of them to be as important as ours. However, as a group we understood that we needed to decide on something that we all could agree on. We named off several things and Alex Velez, a member in my group, actually called about two or three places and talked to them in class. When we talked to Julie Vandervort, from the Little Red School House, we instantly knew that was the place to go. Most people know of the Little Red School House and as children we would often go. We talked about some of our previous visits to the Little Red School House when we were younger and wanted to know how we could be a part of that. We knew that the Little Red School House is very strong on preserving plant-life species. They are also involved a lot with things in the community that can be harming the environment.
Two members of my group recently went to the Little Red School House where they did some Prairie Restoration. They went and cut down invasive species of plants and trees to allow for the prairie plants to exist. They then educate you on how the specific plants and trees prevent the prairie plants from existing. They tell you different things that can be done, or how it can be avoided. On April 17th another group member and I will be going to the Little Red School House and learning more about how we can help the environment and what things they are doing specifically to help better the environment. We will also cut down invasive species of plants and trees for the prairie plant existence. There are many plants and trees that prevent this and Julie Vandervort is going to show us exactly what they do to prevent this outcome.
At first I think my group and I started slow. We found an organization that we all agreed on, but we could not decide on dates to meet to talk about how we were going to go about this. We were not finding days that we would be able to go to the Little Red School House and learn more about the organization. We had a very poor effort in communicating and the efficiency when we actually communicated was no better. We all have very busy schedules, but I think we used that as more of a shield to avoid actually making more of an effort to do this project. We finally all just laid it out and pretty much said we need to get moving on with this and literally changed everything around. We were communicating more and finding about ways that we could get more involved.As I said before I will be attending the Little Red School House on April 17th and I will be able to talk more about the culture and what they do for the environment. I will be able to provide more details on how you can get involved, the renovations that have occurred, and a detailed visual image of the facility. I am extremely excited to be working with Julie and this organization. My group members and I found a great organization and we all look forward to being able to help make a difference in the world. Although we may not make it on the news and become famous for it, we still will all know that we put forth an effort and made a difference in this world.
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Alejandro Morales
The Ones That Got Away. This title reminded me of that stupid Katy Perry song and I honestly just had to read this article so that would not be my last remembrance of that titled article. To my surprise, it was about an old paper in college that Tom Dow had written. He had to write a paper about his own cultural heritage while doing research to really get into depth of his cultural. He says that along with many of his classmates’ he thought his background would be as exciting as Wonder Bread. I kept reading and it sounds just like any other paper by the way he started talking about his heritage, “I was born in Madison, Wisconsin and I’ve spent most of my life in and around Joliet, Illinois. My parents are both Caucasian, as are their parents.” Even Tom Dow himself admits to this not starting off to be a great paper. So then, he needed more research and called his Grandparents and his Grandmother wrote to him in handwritten sheets and used colored pencils to note the connections. His Grandmother talked about how difficult it was to find records because of a fire that destroyed the Canadian Court House. She even talked about a Canadian type of French and Indian Languages. She provided evidence to show the connection about his family’s contribution to American Expansion, but that one got away. Throughout the paper after some examples of evidence that was provided he says, but that one got away. He looks back at this paper and realizes all the things he could have done with this paper. Not even just for the class, but to keep his family’s story alive for generations. You never know the effect something can have on you. Even if it is just an assigned paper from a college professor.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
I was skimming through “Why White Rice?” for this week’s reading journal entry, and I ended up finding one with a pretty clever title. Titles are extremely important because they draw the first initial attention to my eyes. When I saw the title labeled “Models, Templates, and creativity, oh my!” I was instantly looked. In the passage Tom Dow writes off of Michael McGuire’s passages for our own traditional and our own authentic writing style. As Tom Dow agrees, he also says that we need to use those as basic building blocks, but students do not actually do that right now. “Those very traditions and patterns give us all a place to begin experiencing the world beyond ourselves.” (Dow, 148). Along with that maturity plays a role in our writing. As we get older we notice the maturity levels changing as well. For example, Tom talks about when he first began teaching. He would write down rules, enforce all of those rules, count absences, late arrivals, etc. As he was more experienced as a professor he left those old ways and uses different “templates.” The same goes for us as writers. We first start off with the basic building blocks to start out experiences for ourselves. Progressively with maturity we learn different skills or different ways that better fit out writing style. Tom Dow provides another example of this when he talks about a marathon he was training for. He read a book that taught him so many things he did not know about long distance running. He used that book and those steps to complete his first marathon. He now is training for his fifth marathon and does not use that book anymore. He now has his own running style, but he built it off the “basic building blocks” which at that time was the book.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
For my reading journal entry I was skimming over some of the chapters in “Why White Rice?” I love the catchy titles in this book; it literally makes you want to read every section just to understand why they even used that title. However, as I was skimming over the book I saw a title in Chapter 8.8 titled as “ ‘I’ can join ‘you’ as long as you need me.” I reread that a couple of times just to try and make sure they I even understood what the titles was trying to say. As I went on to read this sections I discovered that Thomas Dow is talking about when students use “I” in their writing and also about using “you.” I was told by a previous professor to never use you because it is not a college level writing standard. I do greatly believe there is a certain time to use these words and Thomas Dow explained it perfectly, “When ‘I’ helps you inject some of yourself, your experiences, and your energy into your writing, that’s a good thing. When ‘I’ becomes a crutch that you lean on to avoid fully walking forward with your ideas (pun intended), then you should edit it out.” That is one of the best lines I have honestly ever read. Probably more so because of the pun intended humor. I enjoyed this section of this chapter because I tend to use the word “I” a lot. I often do probably use it in situations to not further walk forward with my ideas. However, I do feel that at the same time I have used it to convey my experiences or feelings toward a subject. I can’t believe that some professors will not accept work if you use those words. That is a little absurd. Actually that is entirely absurd, but I guess that’s college.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
The words that Harro speaks are absolutely true. Literally every single thing he has said is exactly how society works. It develops from all of those stages and starts before we are even born. We are born into these beliefs. Just as you are born into different cultures and different ways of being raised you can be born into these terrible beliefs. All of the examples you read you have probably heard of before or at least something very similar. Even as jokes people talk about black people and crime going together, or white people naturally having more money and a better life style, or gays not being as equal as everyone else. Honestly though when I look at this issue I do not think it is as easy as some may think to break these habits or beliefs. You can know something probably is not right, but if you have grown accustomed to those beliefs all of your life, then why change them now? Coincidentally maybe some incidents of your beliefs have been correct. That only gives you more reason to continue with that belief. Where at the same time if you were to see something that was proof of your belief to not be true then you would not care as much. I myself have made so many comments or jokes that Harro talks about in his passage. I think because I was raised in a family where we understood they are only jokes that I never took this to be a serious issue. When I read this it does not change my point of view, but I do think that everything he said is exactly true with society today.
— Harro, Bobby. “The Cycle Of Socialization.”(2012): 15-21. Splatter.writing101.net. Web. 22 Mar. 2012 -
Alejandro Morales
One Shoe, Two Shoe, His Shoe, Her Shoe
I myself am not the first person to volunteer for a service to be done. I do not find it to be a hassle, and I do not find it to be stupid. I just do not go out of my way to participate in a service event. For all of the community service or service events I have participated in I have been told to do them. It never was something that I wanted to personally take time out of my life to go and make a difference. However, every time I have gone I have really enjoyed it. The first time I ever participated in a community service event was when I did community service at the Animal Welfare. Although it really was not my decision for me to do a certain amount of hours here, I really enjoyed it. I also helped a little league baseball team by umpiring for them.
I think after I did those service activities I saw myself as a different person. Although I may have not changed the world to an unbelievable degree, I made a difference in other’s life. From those little kids playing baseball to the animals at the welfare. I always found myself as a hardworking individual and service activities that I have participated in have made me an even harder working individual. I greatly admire the people and organizations that go through all this to make such a change. People start with an idea and then it turns into this amazing change for the world.
I also give a lot of credit to all of the people that spend hours of their life devoting time for the community. I applaud those people because it really takes a lot to sacrifice something of yours to help others. I could not see myself doing that. Although I do not mind participating in service work I still could not see myself constantly trying to find organizations to devote my time to. I guess I look at myself to be somewhat selfish because of it, but I feel like I have my own problems to take care of. If I do not take care of my problems, then how can I expect to help others with theirs?
I do believe as I grow older I will really appreciate the events I participated a lot more. I am actually really glad I was told to do those things. It has allowed me to see the different people in the world. To actually work with others in a completely different atmosphere. To know that most of these people do not have to be here, but want to be here. I think when I have children I will seriously encourage them to participate in service work. Maybe then I would even do it with them and set examples for how I want my children to be.
On March 10th I went to an organization called Share Your Soles. The organization is founded by Mona Purdy. I was extremely excited for this event because it was close by and because it is I feel I can really contribute to this organization by donating shoes or helping find people to donate shoes. As I pulled into the parking lot, and I saw the ware house, a totally different image formed in my head. I was imagining a building with designs of shoes, or a picture of children in third world countries being deprived of this, or anything like that. However, it was literally just a warehouse like the other ones right next to it. Nothing extremely different to set them apart. When we walked in I had another image in my head completely different. I imagined shoes everywhere, quotes everywhere, huge pictures of different countries that have been helped, but it just looked like any other ordinary room. We all went and sat down to watch a video. Two actually. The video was one of those inspiring videos you see on TV about people who makes a huge difference. One that makes you want to just jump right out of your seat and start getting to work!Right after we watch the video and I am feeling eager to start doing some work the man who works there literally says, “So, uhm, you guys want to go in back and see if we can find anything to do?” It was probably one of the most boring ways to say something ever. We get into the back now and they start giving jobs for us to do. Except there was not really many jobs because all of the work had been done the previous day. For about two of my three hours I was assigned to develop a method to organize the shoes with the signs provided. There were not many signs to be a specific as they wanted and we were limited with the stands for them. For a pretty well-known organization I expected a lot more organization and a lot more resources.
For about the last hour I felt as if I started to actually do something productive. A couple of people and me were loading up shoes in a cart and then placing them in the categories that we had just recently designed. There were a lot of shoes when we started loading these carts. After about twenty minutes the room started filling up with shoes. As I would put these shoes into the category I can imagine someone from another country receiving these. I could imagine the look on their face and how happy they would be to have these. For all the shoes I would do that, dress shoes, gym shoes, sandals, and so forth. A different country or climate would develop in my mind and I can imagine another person every time. As I subconsciously did that I started to feel so great about what I was doing. I started to feel that I was actually making a difference in hundreds of people’s lives.Learning through experience has definitely taught me a lot more then class I would say. One thing is to talk about issues, or to see other’s people view on something. Then there is actually going out and witnessing first-hand the experience you are partaking in. When you sit in class and talk about those things it is hard to imagine them. When you do imagine them it can be completely different as well. When you actually go out and physically do an activity I feel like all you can do is learn. You more than likely are in a completely different atmosphere. You are used to learning in the classroom by your professors, but when you go out and do a service activity, and then you are in a new classroom with a new professor. It makes it more interesting and the more interesting something is, the more you will want to learn.
From my service activity I was really able to realize how much we in America take things for granted. Something as simple as shoes that we look to for style is a means for survival in other countries. We care about the design or who made them or the color of them, but these other people just care that there is something around their foot for protection. Something we as Americans see as normal other’s in less privileged countries find it as a necessity for their everyday life to survive. It is hard to really think of a solution for taking things for granted and really appreciating things. It is something you kind of just need to witness and realize for yourself to understand.
Share Your Soles really made an impact on my life. I can already see it shifting my future behaviors and the way I look at certain things in life. When I do things like get dressed, or start my car to go to school, or even put on a pair of shoes I really think about how lucky I am to be in this country with what I have. I do not need to worry about if I am going to be able to eat for days or not, I do not have to worry about walking around barefoot somewhere, I do not have to worry about my water supply and walking miles and miles to bring home buckets full.
Although I do not see myself as a person who is looking to volunteer at hundreds of places to devote my time, I do see myself as somebody who has a different outlook on life now. Literally jut spending three hours of my life in a place that has changed the lives of so many, has changed mine greatly. I am extremely grateful I was blessed with the opportunity to participate in an organization that is so inspirational. Even the smallest change like thinking differently when I put my shoes on was worth every single minute spent.
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Roberto Kobik
So I’m going to assess your paper from top to bottom for this peer review. I will start by saying you have a clever title. It is attention grabbing and catchy which is why I like it. I am terrible when it comes to creating titles for my work; they are always so boring and professional. I like when others have good ideas for their titles. I will also say that this was a good paper that had good organization throughout. I also like how you were very open and honest in your first paragraph. I did the same as well and I find that after reading many peer reviews I think that there are few honest people like us. I think this adds to your paper and also helps make your ending more meaningful. I say this because you start the paper by saying how you do not do service events unless you have to. At the end of the paper you say that you have enjoyed it and will try to volunteer more as this experienced has not only changed other’s lives in other countries but it has also benefitted your life. I also like the flow of the paper because for every action you tell us your emotions or what you thought of during those actions. For example I like your visual descriptions as well as detail. When you write like that I picture what your story says. Since you were good at those descriptions it feels as if I were right there doing the service with you. I think in this type of paper that is important to have. I was surprised to find out that you pulled into a plain warehouse very non energetic but not too shocked because of the needs that company has. I also liked how you talked about your feelings a lot through this paper. Every little detail you include makes the story much easier to follow and more visible. I even picture the guy that came in the room and asked, “So, umm you guys want to come in back and see if we can find anything to do.” I think when people are hosting volunteer events they should at least be energetic and grateful when speaking to create a lively attitude In the room. It is not like everyone had to be there so that guy could have at least made the experience more fun. It is also pretty neat that you enjoyed this service learning so much that you will encourage your kids to do it. Although good luck with that because the last thing a kid wants to do is community service. So over all I think you wrote a solid paper. You included many specific details about the environment you were in, and yourself. I like the flow and organization of your paper it aid the paper easy to read, easy to follow, and gave me a good visual image of what you have done that day. I think that you are a strong writer and also think that this is the best paper I have read so far.
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Amber Bey
Your service project paper is the last one I am peer reviewing and I have to say how weird it is that everyone pretty much started out the same way, including me! I think it is interesting that everyone initially has the same feeling about volunteering. Nobody is really excited to participate in it. Although this is the case everyone feels good to have done it. I think it is awesome that you have volunteered so many times, since Share Your Souls was the first volunteer project I have ever done. I feel kind of bad that I have never volunteered before.
I agree that it is an amazing thing for people to want to volunteer and the organizations willing to put the time and effort into helping others. It is good to know that there are nice people in this world. It is nice that you feel good about yourself after volunteering. It shows that you care about people. Your ultimate reaction is more important than the initial reaction.
I can relate to you third paragraph. After seeing all of these organizations, I feel a little guilty for not devoting more of my time to volunteering. I really felt selfish because I did the share your soul’s project and I had a closet of shoes that I barely wore. This helped me realize that I need to stop taking things for granted.
It is great to hear that you want to encourage your children to volunteer. I completely agree that volunteering will be more appreciated when you are older. Once you have more time and a stable family and lifestyle volunteering could be a bigger option. I can also relate to you because I volunteered at share your souls as well, and I had very similar thoughts about the place. I was thinking it would look a lot different as well. The videos were definitely the set off for my eagerness to work as well. Those videos really made me feel fortunate for every little thing that I have.
It is hilarious that you brought up the guy who played the videos for us. He was so unenthusiastic about the entire thing. Which made me, and I’m sure everyone else, a little bit more nervous about the upcoming three hours. I thought it is interesting that we had to do such different tasks. I was curious about what you guys were doing in the warehouse, and now I know. I think it would have been nice to do some of the work that you were doing as well. I did not really handle any of the shoes that were going to the children in need, but instead I was helping set up a shoe sale to raise money for the organization. It might have been a different experience to be able to actually handle the shoes being donated.
Share your souls has made a huge impact on the lives of the volunteers, seeing that we feel the same coming out of the project. It shows us how fortunate we are to have the time to volunteer. People in third world countries would never have time to do these things, because they are constantly working in order to get the necessities in order to survive.
I thought you essay was great. I think you hit every point and description head on, and you also gave detail on your overall reactions and feelings. I loved your title as well. -
Armando Cortez
Peer review 4
Alejandro I have to say that your really good at being able to come up with clever titles, ones that can catch the attention of the reader, I wish I could come up with some. I have a tendency to struggle with that most of the time that i do paper because usually they’re boring or just not the type to grab someones attention but anyways nice work on that. Now as far as your paper goes it was good how you were honest from the beginning to the end of your experience at share your soles I know for a fact that is something that I do with my papers because no one wants to read something that’s not true. But it’s nice how it showed your organization in the paper and your every emotion that you went through while at share your soles. I liked the fact that you were very descriptive and it made it easy to follow you along through your expereince. Much of which I can agree when more people should try to get involved because it is something that your doing to help others in need of it. It does change the way on which you see things mid-threw the experience and after as well. It makes you appreciate everything you have in your life that most people out in the world don’t. I got to say that share your soles has done an excellent job in inspiring many people the way it has, it truly is somehting worth doing because you can’t even count how many people in the world take many things for granted not knowing there are organizations like this trying to make a difference for those unfortunate to have a better life andbring a smile to their faces. Share your soles definitley is an experience I won’t soon forget it somehting I wouldn’t mind doing again. I think others would feel the same way, just having to go through the whole experience changes everything its amazing how it does and soemthing i am laso blessed to be a part of. Got to say that your a pretty good writer for the most part, it really is interesting reading your papers for the most part you provide good organized and honest work that everybody can sometimes relate too I know I do for the most part anytime I read your papers. But I want to go of when you said that you got inspired from the videos you saw to get right to work. For me it was embarrasing seems how I got their late and it really was my fault. But yea I heard that the videos were all inspiring and I would have loved to watch them but only got to see a few minutes of the last video not much for me to see. But I guess it’s somehting I learn from and not be late ever again to any organization because it is embarrasing, especially if it’s volunteer work. But I mean the whole hands on work was enough for me to appreciate and enjoy what I was doing and knowing what positive effect I was contributing too. That alone made me than wanting to come back and do more volunteer work, so I can relate to that aspect. And overall, I think you were right on target with the essay, gave good detail, organized and covered every aspect that the essay needed. It truly was was nice work keep it up. -
Anahi Perez
Your introduction paragraph set the whole paper on point. I really liked how you used honesty in this paper because not a lot of people are not honest about their previous experiences. It doesn’t take much to make a minor difference in ones life, but if everyone did just an hour of service there would be big changes in the world. I liked the fact that you included that your experiences made you an even harder working individual. Volunteering can emphasize many personal characteristics in becoming a better person.
You mentioned that you consider yourself selfish because you don’t see yourself volunteering on a regular basis. You seem to be a bit negative on this paragraph. You don’t have to participate in community service on a regular basis but as long as you participated in few event in the past, you aren’t selfish. Yes of course we have our own problems to take care of, but the fact that you made a difference in ones life is overall rewarding. Don’t feel as if your work is not enough.I really like the fact that you included that in your service you were allowed to meet different people in the world. Was it the people you were volunteering with or was it people that needed the help? That is a really good to share with the reader that you interacted and socialized with others.
I really liked the fact that you went to Share your Soles, that was my first choice on volunteering but it did not meet my schedule, I am a little jealous. The description of the location was detailed enough for me to imagine it. I imagined it a different way so you did a good job and helping me envision the proper location. You also included what the man had said to the group there, that I find very disappointing. It makes it seem like he really wasn’t interested in sharing is workload with the volunteers. You described the lack of organization. The description you provided was very simple yet very detailed. I was a bit upset that I was not able to attend that service.
I liked how you incorporated imagination and how different it is from actually completing a service task. There was also a sentence where you mentioned that you were loading carts with shoes. I began to feel selfish of how much I don’t appreciate my shoes. Your mentality changes so much when you see what the less unfortunate don’t have. We always have to appreciate the things we have because there are many people in the world that don’t have anything.
I really like how you incorporated your honesty in this paper. You mentioned that you don’t see yourself volunteering in the future but that you do have a different mindset. You appreciate your personal items more than what you used to before.This is something great to share with people that have never volunteered. Overall I feel as if this experience changed not only your life but others as well.
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Anthony Stevens
To start off you have the most clever titles for your papers and they get me interested. It is attention grabbing and catchy which is why I think it is great. I am not that good when it comes to clever titles. They are always boring and professional. I like when others have good ideas for their titles. I say this paper is really good and had good organization throughout. I also like how you were very open and honest in your first paragraph. It gave me a bit of a background on your thoughts. I kind of did the same thing as well and I find that after reading many peer reviews I think that there are few honest people like us. I think this adds to your paper and makes your ending more meaningful. I say this because you started the paper by saying how you do not do service events unless you have to. At the end of the paper you say that you have enjoyed it and will try to volunteer more as this experienced has not only changed other’s lives in other countries, but it has also benefitted your life. I also like the flow of the paper because for every action you tell us your emotions or what you thought of during those actions. For example I like your visual descriptions as well as detail. When you write like that I picture what your story says. It is like I have a picture in my mind on how the story plays out. Since you were good at those descriptions it feels as if I were right there doing the service with you. I think in this paper that is important to have. I was surprised to find out that you pulled into a plain warehouse very non energetic, but not too shocked because of the needs that the company has. I also liked how you talked about your feelings a lot in this paper. Every little detail you include makes the story much easier to follow and more visible. I even picture the guy that came in the room and asked, “So, umm you guys want to come in back and see if we can find anything to do.” I think when people are hosting volunteer events should be at least energetic and grateful when speaking to create a lively attitude in the room so it feels like you are going to be a part of something great. It is not like everyone had to be there so that guy could have at least made the experience more fun. It is also pretty neat that you enjoyed this service learning so much that you will encourage your kids to do it. Although good luck with that because the last thing a kid wants to do is community service. So over all I think you wrote a solid paper. You included many specific details about the environment you were in, and yourself. I like the flow and organization of your paper it aid the paper easy to read, easy to follow, and gave me a good visual image of what you have done that day. I think that you are a strong writer and also think that this the best paper I have read so far.
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Dawn Murry
I totally agree with Alejandro because not until you have to do something then you are like okay let’s see what this has to offer. But, once you get there and see it’s not that bad it gives you different thoughts on who, when, what and why this is great place to be. You may think that you have a problem that you are going through and no one else in the world can understand until you meet or experience the “Share Your Soles” event, Feed My Starving Children and the list can go on and on. I have done personally volunteered at church events, school activities or even things for work. But, to give back people that are less fortunate in our countries I have truly heard stories but, never in a million years thought of a way to give back. I have participated with several of local service events. But, now that I stop and think about it we here in the United States have some many different our resources on getting, food and clothes. You can also get different education grants and funding for education. A lot of these countries that surround us don’t have that option but, if we could take a few hours and out of our lives a month it can make a difference to kids especially that don’t have. Just a little time that we may spend with our kids at the park would mean a lot by shipping food or something like shoes. This can give them an eye opener of hope. Sometimes hope is the best thing you can offer a person. If you don’t have faith and hope then sometimes you will have a long way to go. I’m with Alejandro the people that put these organizations together such get a lot more credit than they do. What they are doing it great thing that will go truly far. When you partake in an event like this you can get the personal one on one experience with knowing what life has to offer. Just by packing those boxes or organizing the shoes gives you strong mind of wisdom and hope. Just by sending people the shoes it can give them something that they may have thought they never would of have. A strong support system for their feet. I think you could not of dream in a million of years how you can survive with no shoes. You need to be thankful for the little that you do have. Mona Purdy has really provided Illinois with a strong base of given back to those who don’t have. Just by going to this event like Alejandro can learn a lot from it.
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Maura Bilek
To start off, I really enjoyed your introduction. It was filled with valid, honest points that probably the entire class can relate to. Of course we all want to change the world; it’s the taking action part that’s more difficult. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way, it seems like this is something a lot of classmates feel. I’m glad you benefited so much from the experiences, regardless of whether or not you seeked the oppurtunies outside of school obligation. A lot of the community service work I did was mandatory through school, but I did volunteer as a camp counselor which I later discovered filled my high school service requirements, which was only an added bonus. It’s important when getting involved in social issues, to pick one that speaks to you. It seems like Share Your Soles had a hugely positive effect on everyone who participated in it; good for you. On this statement- “I guess I look at myself to be somewhat selfish because of it, but I feel like I have my own problems to take care of. If I do not take care of my problems, then how can I expect to help others with theirs?” This has been a common question among everyone, and I think you basically answered your own question from the start. Everyone is selfish and concerned about their own issues, it would be foolish not to be that way in my opinion. It’s important to put yourself first, but then also reflect upon your problems and what you can do to change them. I think as young adults we tend to see many issues as problematic that can be solved quite simply with the right amount of motivation. And while you may have a lot going on in your life, when you are enjoying your free time outside of that, think about your problems in relation to other people your age, in other parts of the country or the world. I know for me, my problems are small in comparison. Working on these social issues will better the future for our generation, and you deserve to feel good about yourself after participating and showing people you do care. I think it’s great you mentioned you want to share this one day with your kids, I feel the exact same way. I am glad that this changed your outlook, and I really wish I could have participated in Share Your Soles because it seems like I’ve heard nothing but great things. The fact that you feel so changed from this is inspiring, and I really enjoyed reading about your experience. It was honest, interesting and very well-written.
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Alejandro Morales
So a lot of the time that I read “Why White Rice?” I just skim over, or even ignore the grey shaded passages. Sometimes I read them, but honestly I usually just skip over them. For a couple of reasons. It interrupts the text that you are reading at that specific moment. You don’t want to stop from going to the next page to read the grey shaded passage, and then turn the page and read the text you were just previously reading. Another reason, and probably the more realistic and true meaning, is I am too lazy to read them. I don’t feel like reading them so I just don’t. However, I was looking for some interesting titles to read and I came across “The Machine That Is Replacing Me Is Getting Cheaper Every Day.” The ironic part of this passage is Troy Swanson talks about people not devoting time to their classes to read this section, or other parts of the book. He then talks about Mr. McAvoy, his High School English teacher. Troy says he was one of his best teachers and is the reason he entered college a better writer then most of his classmates. He goes on to talk about systems that we live in and how creativity can be taken away in those systems. However, evidently creativity still can exist within systems. “Yes, we are part of a very large system. Yes, at times, this system can hinder creativity. But, more importantly, our creativity is on our own shoulders, which is, after all, Mike’s larger point.” Those words really stuck out to me. When you read this and understand what he talks about within systems you then see how creativity can be hindered. With that being said, some systems can be creative, but creativity will not arise unless we ourselves create it.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
Is the Human Papillomavirus becoming the new epidemic?
Dear Editor,
The Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) is becoming a serious epidemic and we need to expand the knowledge of the Human Papilloma Virus vaccine before it is too late. Human papillomaviruses are a group of more than 150 related viruses, 40 of which can be sexually transmitted. Certain types of papillomaviruses may cause warts, or papillomas, while other HPV’s are considered high-risk and can lead to cancer.
The Human Papilloma Virus most commonly develops into cervical cancer and according to the Centers for Disease Control, in today’s world cervical cancer is the second leading cause of deaths in women, with 30 women being diagnosed with cervical cancer every day. In the United States alone, about 12,000 women were diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2011, and about 4,000 are expected to die from it.
The vaccine used to be offered to women only, however, the virus is starting to be seen in men more often now. Because it is being seen in males more commonly now, it is offered to both sexes. By learning how the Human Papilloma Virus vaccine can help prevent many serious illnesses, it is time for one to take actions. Research on your own, or go to your local clinic and find out more about this vaccination. Talk to professionals who deal with this on a daily basis. You can also talk with your family doctor and find out his/her opinion on the vaccine. In the end you are the one who makes the final decision. So please, take the time and effort to explore this topic to further enhance your knowledge on the situation.
-Alejandro Morales-
Amber Bey
The subject for your letter is a little sad, but it is something that needs to be addressed. I do not think people understand the risk of getting HPV. Some think that they are not at risk of getting these kinds of diseases, and people are dying from them. In order to stop these diseases from getting around, I think it needs to be publicized. This is why the letter to the editor is a good place to talk about this issue. If more people read and hear about the disease the more they will want to find out more about it. Hopefully this will get people to be more cautious about it. I think your introduction was very informative. It is exactly how I would have started off. It is important to give data and explain what you are addressing in the letter. If I was you I would try to start off with an extremely attention capturing first sentence. I think this will make the letter stand out to the editor.
It is scary how many women get cervical cancer; your statistics are mind blowing. It was a good idea to add specific data to your letter; this will capture the attention of the editor, and they will see that you actually took the time to research and study. He will realize that this disease is not a small issue, and it should be widely acknowledged to help prevent it. I believe if people are more aware of how dangerous and easily spreadable a disease is, then maybe they will be more careful. I think that you could have added more information on the actual disease in addition to all of the facts on cervical cancer. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is great that you addressed the bigger problem within the issue, but it would have added to the letter. This will inform the editor on the disease itself, which is the whole reason you wrote the letter. The only thing I think you would need are a few more statistics on HPV and maybe how to prevent it.
Something that stood out to me is the fact that this disease used to only be popular among women. I find that very interesting. It is good that you decided to add this fact into the letter because now men need to be informed about the disease as well. I’m sure there are many men out there that do not know that they are susceptible to getting the disease. If the editor puts this letter in the newspaper, there is a good chance that more men will be aware of the disease. Another thing that I found to be a great addition to your letter is the information on how people are able to learn more about the virus. There are so many different ways in which people can be further educated on the vaccination to prevent this disease, yet I’m sure many people do not even know what this disease is. If more people see the information and statistics about this virus, then more people will begin to prevent it.
I thought your letter was written very well. The only thing that stood out to me was the first and second sentence in the third paragraph. They are almost identical, so you might want to consider changing one of them. I think this letter is well thought out and very informative.
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Roberto Kobik
PEER REVIEW
A LETTER TO THE EDITOR
So after reading your paper I think it is safe to say you completed this project accurately. This is the first time you are getting a peer review from me and I do not know how your other work is but you did a good job on this paper. The other papers I read lacked some details and were not very persuasive. I think you have a solid amount of details and information I your paper. You included a lot of facts which is good for credentials and you have good flow through your paper. A lot of people had messy flow and they jumped around from place to place but you had good organization throughout. You were thorough and to the point. That is the whole point of this assignment because you have to be brief when writing to the editor. You did exactly that so you achieved the project goals nicely. I like how you introduced the topic in the first paragraph. Then you introduced the risks and other stats in the second paragraph and finally you stated how to get help. That is good organization for this paper. I do however feel that this paper was only effective to the curious mind. Meaning that since it was not stated in the paper and I still do not know what HPV is I wont research it because I have no reason to. There are other people like that to so maybe if anything you can include more reasons why I should look into this topic. You want to persuade your intended audience to take action through this piece. If you highlight the importance of this topic I think more people will do research on the topic and cures for it. Some people may not even know they have HPV so it is good to be persuasive so that everyone is interested in to looking up the topic. Plus this is a different type of topic because other topics like littering we see every day and we know about it so more people would want to take action on a topic like that. Where as this topic is more less head of and people really have to do all the research themselves. These days people do not have a lot of time on their hands so you have to be really attention grabbing and persuasive to get people to look into HPV. I think you grabbed attention quite well by introducing the topic and the amount of deaths and other stats. However like I said I just did not feel persuaded enough to research your topic. Hopefully that is not the case for others because you want them to do the research. I also think that is a good topic to address to the public because like I said not many people may know about this less heard virus until it is too late. Actually I lied I might do some research on it now because I am just curious to know what HPV is. I also like your title it is catchy. -
Armando Cortez
Peer review 3
Alejandro I got to say that it’s somehting that really got my attention and interested because someone like me who really didn’t know that much about it. But now with your insight on it really did strike me as something that should be taken into concern. I mean just the fact that it’s causing that much deaths on women because it develops into cancer is really sad and somehting that in my opinion shoud be take into the consideratio of all of us. Now that you also mentioned how it’s being found on males now is something really serious and shouldn’t be taken lightly at all. I got to say though that you did a good job introducing the topic well, it really grabbed the attention that you seeked and more when you gave information on how many deaths that it has caused. But I do got to say that when talking about somethng like this, you see how other people talk about recycling and other stuff like that that’s more common to our world. Something like this you really need to try and persuade the person who is reading this especially when your talking about something like HPV. You really have to try and persuade the person to the point where they’re going to take action and not just simply look it up and research it. I think for the most part something like recycling which is worldwide can have a more profound action where as HPV may only have the person look it up to see what it really does and its effects. Don’t get me wrong it’s something that is important and it should be taken into action because it is a serious cause and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I thouhgt though that for the most part it was really informattive and it was a well written paper, I didn’t see any grammar errors really but a well wriiten paper though. You did though what it required that you do so that was done nicely. I also got to say that how you mentioned that it is causing a big problem in both sexes is now,m is somehting that is concrerning I don’t know to other who read this but as soon as you mentioned that in your paper I couldn’t help but have this sort of concern over me. It definitley makes me want to know more about this and research it. I think this is something that to the person that reads will most likely want to know more and that’s that sort of feel that it gives wanting to know more so I really like that it gave that feeling to want to know more. Another thing that I noticed which was good was the organization factor in your paper i’m so used to reading other papers which they talk about one thing then they jump around and don’t really have their ideas in the write order or what they write doesn’t really follow up. But what I like was that you had thjat organization, nice work on that and overall it was a great paper I enjoyed reading a little bit about it. -
Anthony Stevens
First off I like to say with not knowing much about your topic I was interested and grabbed my attention. I think you have a solid amount of information for your paper. You included a lot of facts which is good for someone who doesn’t know a lot about your topic. Your paper was thorough and right to the point. The whole point of this letter to the editor is to be thorough and right to the point and you definitely fulfilled that requirement. I liked how you introduced the topic in the first paragraph. You then introduced the risks and other stats in the second paragraph and finally you stated how to get help. The only thing is that it is only effective to the curious mind. Meaning that since it was not stated in the paper and readers who still don’t know what HPV is won’t research it because they won’t have a reason. I consider putting down reasons on why we should research this topic. You want to persuade your audience to take action on this topic. If you highlight the importance of this topic I think more people would want to research this topic and the cures for HPV. Some people might not even know they have HPV so by being persuasive so that everyone is interested in to looking up this topic. This is a different type of topic because other topics like littering we see every day and we know about it so more people would want to take action on a topic like that. Where as this topic is more less head of and people really have to do all the research themselves. These days people do not have a lot of time on their hands so you have to be really attention grabbing and persuasive to get people to look into HPV. I think you grabbed attention quite well by introducing the topic and the amount of deaths and other stats. However like I said I just did not feel persuaded enough to research your topic. Hopefully that is not the case for others because you want them to do the research. I also think that is a good topic to address to the public because like I said not many people may know about this less heard virus until it is too late. Actually I lied I might do some research on it now because I am just curious to know what HPV is. I also like your title it is catchy.
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Anahi Perez
I really enjoyed how you used an out of the box subject. It is something that many people don’t know or aren’t informed about and that people should be highly aware of because it is costing lives. That being the editor will most likely read something like this first and set it aside from the others. This subject is something that the whole world would want to read about and stop the issue. This subject also makes the reader want to go up and beyond and do far more research. Your letter is the small introduction to something huge. You did a great job creating this structure. You explained to the editor what the abbreviations for HPV was for which m ade things clear and to the point. In the first sentence you chose the phrase “before it is too late,” this makes it dramatic in the sense that something must get done soon. It also adds a taste of persuasive towards the ending of this epidemic. I really like the fact that you included that the HPV virus is sexually transmitted, I just recently got back from Los Angeles and they have a very large awareness program all over the city for safe sex. This is a very large attention grabber not just to the reader but for many people across our community. Our society lacks awareness of certain things and most importantly viruses that lead to cancer. I also like the fact that you used the effects of the virus, this not only gets the readers attention but it also scares them. This might trigger them to get out and get tested and maybe even protect themselves in future intercourses with their loved ones. I found it a bit mind blowing when you mentioned that a great amount of women in the United States die from it. I would also like to know if theres any treatment for this cancer? Is it painful? It is quite scary that I was not informed about this virus up until I read your previous paper, and I do agree something must be done about this. You mentioned that there are vaccinations for this virus open for people to take which opens a huge door for people to protect themselves from this deadly virus. I really liked the fact that you included types of awarenesses in your letter. You told the reader to go off and do some research which I am more than positive that is what they will do. You also mentioned that we in our own personal lives make our own and final decisions. Overall this was a really good letter. I would just advise you to look over it a couple more times to check and see if your missing any minor details. I also like the structure of your letter it was not sloppy or unorganized, it was to the point and fell perfectly together. You did a well job at persuading the editor to be aware of this deadly virus.
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Alejandro Morales
Although I have only reviewed my assigned three readings, I have read a lot of others work. It is truly remarkable how different this world could be if we all just did certain things to help. Even minimal things that will make a huge difference if everyone did it. There are so many problems with the world, and you do not even realize how terrible they really are until you read some of the writings that were posted. When you really start doing research and seeing the truth behind some of the stuff, it is ridiculous. Although we say people can make a change, and if we all help then we can make a different, I feel like some things will just never be fixed. Something like racism for example, as much as we try to end racism, it never will. There will always be someone who discriminates someone for the color of their skin, or their ethnic backgrounds. Yes it is nowhere where it used to be, but it still exists. I feel the same way about homosexuality, and bullying. We want all of those things to just end, but I do not think they ever truly can just go away. Homosexuals may end up one day getting rights just as married couples get. However, there will always be people who make fun of them, or say bitter things to them because they are homosexuals. We can do whatever we want to people when they are caught in the act of bullying, we can help children recover form bullying, but I don’t think we can truly ever end bullying. There will always be someone out there who picks on another individual for whatever pathetic reason they have. It sucks when you look at all the problems in the world and you truly ask yourself, “Will this ever really be fixed?”
Splatter.writing101.net. WordPress/P2, 2011-2012. Web. 29 February 2012. -
Alejandro Morales
Speech Outline
Topic: HPV Vaccine
• STD in the U.S.
• Gender
• Occurs
• Estimated AmountHPV
• 150+ related
• 40, sexually or skin contactCommonality
• Without signs or symptoms
• Transmitted
• Lead to many cancer, most common CervicalCervical Cancer
• Second leading death
• Found too late
• 500,000
• 250,000Although HPV is dangerous
• Prevention
• Dosages
• Offered toDoctors
• Payment plans
• Insurance
• College studentsSpecific Organization
• None
• Health ServicesFind Out More
• Planned Parenthood Site
• General Contact Number, OR
• List of States -
Alejandro Morales
“Why money won’t cut it and why extra credit makes you stupid.” I was looking at some of the previously read chapters in Why White Rice? and when I was going through I saw this title by Michael McGuire. So being that he is my teacher made me want to read the passage even more. In this passage he talks about extrinsic motivators, and how they are not beneficial to you at all, but they actually just hurt you more. An extrinsic motivator would be extra credit, money, and pizza parties. When students ask for extra credit and are granted that request, they then strive for only that goal – that goal being to complete the extra credit work. They’re so set on one task though that they are not open to everything else. Extrinsic motivators work for clear and straight cut out paths. Life isn’t a clear cut path though. Therefore, why should we use extrinsic motivators in our life that won’t even benefit us, but will actually hurt us? He then talks in the article about what DOES work. There are three factors that lead to better performance. One, autonomy; two, mastery; and three, purpose. In clear cut terms, autonomy – motivation for one self. In example, making choices in life for yourself and having the ability to reach those for yourself. Mastery – to perfect something; if you want to master something in life, then you need to have a drive and continuation to practice that skill until you do master it. Finally, purpose – a reason. If you do not have a purpose in your goals, then why are you striving for them? You need to set a purpose for yourself when you present a task before yourself. With those three factors your performance will better greatly.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
HPV Vaccine
At the moment, there are about 20 million people that are infected with a virus. This virus happens to be most common in those who are in their late teens and early twenties, affecting both males and females. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the “genital human papillomavirus is the most common sexually transmitted virus in the United States, and more than half of sexually active men and women are infected with HPV at some time in their lives.” HPV causes many cancers in women, and STD related issues in both sexes. As previously stated, about 20 million people in the United States have HPV, and it is estimated that about 6 million more people will obtain the virus each year. A recent experiment conducted by the National Science Foundation reveals that “individuals who have cultural values that favor authority and individualism perceive the vaccine as risky, in part because they believe it will lead girls to engage in unsafe sex” (ScienceDaily). The experiment also came to the conclusion that those who have a more liberal viewpoint on issues tend to see a more positive outlook on the vaccine. Aside from personal views, many shy away from getting the vaccine because the concept of HPV is still fairly new, and there is a widespread belief that there are not enough studies on the effects of the vaccine.
To get a better sense of your own perspective on the HPV vaccine, we must first look at how exactly this epidemic first started. According to the National Cancer Institute website, “Human papillomaviruses are a group of more than 150 related viruses, 40 of which can be sexually transmitted.” Certain types of papillomaviruses may cause warts, or papillomas, while other HPVs are considered high-risk and can lead to cancer. The HPV warts that grow on hands and feet are not easily transmitted, but there are over 40 types of the virus that are easily spread through skin to skin and sexual contact. HPV infections are actually more common than one would think. The problem with the virus, though, is that many people that have the virus go without noticeable symptoms. For example, a carrier of HPV may develop infections that come and go without any signs for a number of years. The problem is that the infections that do show signs of abnormalities are commonly associated with the high risk HPV that may develop into cancer later on in life. In women, the high risk HPV are always on the lookout for doctors, since HPV most commonly develops into cervical cancer.
In addition to HPV’s history, modern society has not seen a huge change with promoting prevention against the virus. According to the CDC, in today’s world cervical cancer is the second leading cause of deaths in women, with 30 women being diagnosed with cervical cancer every day. In the United States alone, about 12,000 women were diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2011, and about 4,000 are expected to die from it. The numbers are even more striking when looking at a global perspective. The National Cancer Institute claims that about half a million women are diagnosed with cervical cancer each year, and half of those women are estimated to die from it. There are two vaccines officially approved by the FDA for HPV. According to the CDC, HPV vaccines prevent seventy percent of cervical cancer, as well as other less common cancers. The two HPV vaccines approved by the FDA are Cervarix and Gardasil. Both vaccines are made with very small parts of the HPV virus that do not cause infections. Both vaccines are also given in 3 doses, which taking all three doses provides the best protection. The difference between the two vaccines is that Gardasil protects against HPV types of 6 and 11, which are the most common causes of warts in both males and females. According to Planned Parenthood, the HPV vaccine is now recommended for both females and males ages 9 – 26. Gardasil is the only vaccine that has been tested and licensed for use in males by the FDA. Gardasil commercials have appeared on television to ask young women to obtain the vaccine, but since HPV has begun to show in males as well, the vaccine is now offered to both sexes. Doctors have discovered about fifteen of high-risk HPV. The vaccines contain two of these viruses, HPV 16 and 18. The National Cancer Institute estimates that these two types of HPV alone “cause about 70 percent of all cases of cervical cancer.” The HPV vaccines are relatively safe as well, with no other side effects other than a regular vaccine would cause. The only other warning that Gardasil offers is for those who are severely allergic to yeast to avoid taking the vaccine. The HPV vaccines are offered in many doctor’s offices around the country, and many insurance plans are willing to work with patients for coverage. One of the major setbacks with having the HPV virus is that there are no medical treatments against HPV other than prevention vaccines, but you can seek treatment from a doctor if you were to get infections from warts or lesions.
Though there are several treatments for the HPV virus, not everyone in society is on board with the preventative methods. As stated before, many parents and individuals are unsure of taking the vaccine due to its possible lack of testing. To put in a true effort in the cause, one Texas governor decided that all young girls would be required to receive the HPV vaccine. Rick Perry’s decision in 2007 did not sit well with many conservative parents, believing that this type of action was the government simply intruding on personal lives. The decision was overturned, and not many officials have attempted to make the vaccine mandatory since (Huffington Post). Also, many parents are also wary of taking their sons to receive vaccination since sensitive feelings may arise on the matter. Though there are many people against getting vaccinated, there are just as many people that are pro-vaccination. Many college campuses across the nation are now offering HPV vaccination in their clinics, as well as doctor’s offices. As previously stated, many doctors are willing to work with insurance plans to create payment plans for patients, if needed. There are not any specific organizations dedicated to raise awareness solely for the vaccine, but a variety of health services are bringing awareness to HPV in addition to their own messages. There are also certain small groups that are in opposition to the vaccine, but neither side is extremely dedicated to the cause.
By learning how the HPV vaccine can help prevent many serious illnesses, it is time for one to take actions. Doctors across the globe are persuading preteens and well as young adults more frequently to obtain HPV vaccinations. With cervical cancer still a very prominent disease in today’s society, avoiding necessary precautions does not seem logical. College students have the best access to obtaining the vaccine at their local health clinic, since many students pay for student insurance. It is also important for the individual getting vaccinated to receive all three vaccinations, since receiving all three vaccines provides the best protection. Parents with both male and female children should consider getting the vaccine with their doctor to learn of health risks and benefits. One can easily log onto the official Gardasil or Cervarix websites to learn more of the vaccines. Planned Parenthood is a popular organization focused on bringing reproductive and sexual awareness throughout the nation. This healthcare provider offers the vaccine, as well as many other services. To find a center, the Planned Parenthood site contains a general contact number, as well as a list of states in which one can find a location.
In addition to learning information, one should look into organizations supporting HPV prevention, including the vaccine. The following sites have also looked into studying the vaccine’s effects to obtain the best information possible:
Planned Parenthood. “Who We Are.” Web. 18 Feb. 2012. http://www.plannedparenthood.org
/about-us/who-we-are-4648.htm
The Sanger sisters first brought about the first women’s clinics in the 1920s. Today, the Planned Parenthood organization dedicates its time to educating people on sexual and reproductive awareness. The organization has expanded its healthcare services globally, including abortion, contraception methods, and vaccinations. Services and education are offered to individuals of all ages, both males and females. The variety of information is created to inform anyone interested in visiting the site or receiving services. Though faced with much controversy over the years, Planned Parenthood acts as a woman’s advocate in many political policies in the government as well.
Gardasil. “Tools To Share.” Web. 18 Feb. 2012. http://www.gardasil.com/gardasil-
information/hpv-facts/index.html
The Gardasil vaccine in the most common vaccine associated with HPV prevention. In addition to promoting the vaccine through commercials and other ads, the site also contains useful information for all visitors of the site. Throughout the various tabs on the site, one can find several important facts on the HPV virus. In addition, the one can present a presentation provided by the company to a group of people, as well as an opportunity to create an event centered around HPV awareness. Though there is also a tab for information for parents, the site focuses on HPV since the company is designated for promoting information about the virus. Planned Parenthood, on the other hand, includes much more information on different topics as well.
U.S. Food and Drug Administration. “Gardasil Vaccine Safety.” 20 Aug. 2009. Web. 18 Feb.
2012. http://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/ SafetyAvailability/VaccineSafety
/ucm 179549.htm
Before a vaccination is put on the market, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) needs to approve it. The site contains information on the studies provided, as well as the recommended age group they believe should receive an HPV vaccine. The FDA goes into higher detail of risks and benefits of receiving a preventative vaccination against HPV, even more than the Gardasil site. To receive an unbiased view, as well as more helpful information, one should read the article the FDA provides to get the best information available.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Human Papillomavirus (HPV).” Web. 18 Feb.
2012. http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) partners with the FDA to monitor the vaccines put out on the market. The article provided on CDC’s website included information on the HPV virus, as well as a general women’s health sheet and services. The site also contains statistics and treatments of the HPV virus. The CDC contains similar information to that of those above, but it is more detailed than Planned Parenthood, but less than what the FDA offers. The statistics on the site are probably more recent than that on the FDA due to the dates listed on the sites.
By contacting organizations supporting HPV prevention, one can help raise better awareness to fight against the virus. The sites contain helpful information on education others, as well as methods on how to become more involved in the organization’s efforts. Because the HPV virus is rising in both males and females in a large age group, one must become more knowledgeable on how to avoid contracting the disease, especially since symptoms can go unnoticed. Hopefully, society realizes to create an open-mind, and learn more about the epidemic.
Works Cited
Bassett, Laura. “HPV Vaccine No More A ‘Government Injection’ Than Other Mandatory
Vaccines, Health Officials Say.” Huffington Post 20 Sept. 2011. Web. 18 Feb. 2012.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/20/hpv-vaccine-government-injection-public-
mandate_n_972301.html
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. HPV Vaccine Information For Young Women – Fact
Sheet. 15 Sept. 2011. Web. 18 Feb. 2012. http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-
vaccine-young-women.htm
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Vaccines and Preventable Diseases: HPV Vaccine –
Questions & Answers. 19 Dec. 2011. Web. 18 Feb. 2012. http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/
vpd- vac/hpv/vac-faqs.htm
National Cancer Institute. Human Papillomaviruses and Cancer. 17 Sept. 2011. Web. 18 Feb.
2012. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV
National Science Foundation. “Who’s afraid of the HPV vaccine?.” ScienceDaily, 13 Jan. 2010.
Web. 18 Feb. 2012. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100113172401.htm
Planned Parenthood. The HPV Vaccine. Web. 18 Feb 2012. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
stlouis/cervical-cancer-hpv-vaccine 23446.htm?gclid=CPqrofDP56wCFYTsKgod GT
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Anahi Perez
First off, I enjoyed reading this portfolio piece because I was always curious on this subject. As soon as I seen the HPV Vaccine headline it caught my attention. I work in a pharmacy so this only helps me out in my work ethics. I began to read without a clue about the Vaccine, and thankfully you answered most of my questions. Your introduction paragraph was mind blowing. You mentioned that more than half of sexually active men and women are infected with this virus. I am more than sure that people who are sexually active and reading this causes a scared, and pushes them to go get tested.
The second paragraph was very well thought out and detailed on how this virus began. It includes details that might be symptoms of this virus that not people are aware of. It is a very informational source. Myself as a female, it is quite scary and insane how many women die from this each ear, and for it to be the second leading cause in deaths. I feel as if not a lot of people are informed on this issue that if they ready your paper it would make them not think twice and get this shot to prevent the virus. I was also curious about this issue in other countries. Is this issue just primarily in the United Stated or other countries. Is there any type of lack of supply with this vaccine? Your are very persuasive in your paper by added the death tolls, because I am more than sure that people do not want to die to this.
The sources that you included in your piece came from reliable sources which made me believe that all this information you provided was true. You also included information that doctors have said about this vaccine that was also very helpful. I was waiting on the information about the side effects of this vaccine, but what exactly are these side affects? There are tons of vaccine for all type of viruses and what not, I am positive that they don’t hold the same side effects.
Also in the reading of how College campuses are offering the vaccines to their students. I highly think that more schools across the country should start provided this vaccine to its current student to prevent this epidemic. Is there any type of hotlines that answer questions about the HPV vaccine? I read through the websites you provided at the end of your piece. It provided great information about the knowledge of the HPV virus. Not only did it include information on one specific vaccine but as well as others.
Your portfolio piece overall was very interesting to read. It provided great informational facts towards this issue. Your format was well organized and made it easy to read and understand. Most importantly you were very persuasive on why people should go out and receive the HPV vaccine. I am glad you included the scary facts of death and cancers that could happen if one is not protected. Great paper!
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Arianna Wright
First off I would like to suggest that you start off with a sentence other than “At the moment, there are about 20 million people that are infected with a virus.” Even though that is a very interesting fact, it doesn’t make the reader interested in wanting to read more of your paper. The first sentence of your paper should be very catchy and creative to grab your reader’s attention. Maybe ask a question like “Did you know?” or word it differently. That’s just a suggestion. If you could just find something to replace “at the moment,” I think it would be fine for a first sentence. I like how in the second paragraph you give your reader a “first look” at what exactly HPV, how it usually starts, and the affects and the toll that it can take on your body. You might even want to find out what year HPV first became a huge outbreak. It is so scary how many people can have this virus and not even know because they do not have any noticeable symptoms. If you don’t have any noticeable symptoms, haven’t gotten yourself checked out, and don’t know you have HPV that only means that the virus is left untreated, and untreated diseases/viruses can lead to the worse. I personally know someone who has HPV and it sucks that she has a high risk for getting cervical cancer. The 3rd paragraph is very detailed as far as giving the reader information on vaccines. It’s a super long paragraph though so to avoid the reader getting freaked out when they see a long paragraph, you might want to break it down into two paragraphs. Either way, the information in this section is very informative.
Overall, I really liked your portfolio piece. You don’t hear much about HPV, so I think that it’s good that you chose this as your issue to research and discuss. Often we hear about the same issues so it’s always nice to read something different and something that you don’t hear much about. What can we do to prevent HPV? What can we do to help those who have it? Those are the only questions that I have now. Grammatically, your paper was fine, and it kept me interested for the most part. Your paper was so informative, and I took away a lot from it. I didn’t know that 20 million people have this virus. That number is shocking, and it saddens me that its only going to get higher throughout the years. I’m going to be real honest I also had no idea that there was a vaccine for it either. Seems like you did a lot of research, and you did good citing them. I enjoyed your portfolio piece, only thing that I would change is that first sentence of your first paragraph. Consider breaking up that third paragraph, and I would also think of something to leave the reader thinking after reading your conclusion. That’s all I would change. Great Job! -
Anthony Stevens
To start, I really enjoyed reading your paper because it gave me more information on the subject. I got interested when I saw the HPV Vaccine headline. Your introduction paragraph was great. I had no clue about the Vaccine and the actual disease. You have mentioned that more than half of sexually active men and women are infected with the virus. It sounds like a reality check for people to get up and get tested.
The second paragraph is very well thought and detailed on how the virus began. It included details that might be symptoms of the virus the people would not even think of. It sounds very informational and a good source. I think not alot of people know about the issue that if they read your paper it would make them get the shot to prevent the virus. I was also curious about this issue in other countries. Is this issue just primarily in the United Stated or other countries. Is there any type of lack of supply with this vaccine? Your are very persuasive in your paper by added the death tolls, because I am more than sure that people do not want to die to this.
The sources that you included in your paper came from reliable sources that actually made me believe that all the information is true. You included information that doctors have said about the vaccine that was also very helpful. I was waiting on the information about the side effects of this vaccine, but what exactly are these side affects? There are tons of vaccine for all type of viruses and what not, I am positive that they don’t hold the same side effects.
Also in the reading of how College campuses are offering the vaccines to their students. I highly think that more schools across the country should start provided this vaccine to its current student to prevent this epidemic. Is there any type of hotlines that answer questions about the HPV vaccine? I read through the websites you provided at the end of your piece. It provided great information about the knowledge of the HPV virus. Not only did it include information on one specific vaccine but as well as others.
Your portfolio piece overall was very interesting to read. It provided great informational facts towards this issue. Your format was well organized and made it easy to read and understand. Most importantly you were very persuasive on why people should go out and receive the HPV vaccine. I am glad you included the scary facts of death and cancers that could happen if one is not protected.
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Alejandro Morales
I really love the informality of how Why White Rice is written. It isn’t like some boring book that a teacher just assigns to us. This book is actually for us and about us while still being at a level where it is fun to read. One thing I loved about Chapter Four was how long you can talk about thesis. Everyone finds it to be such a difficult task, and it truly is. Yet I just had to read an entire CHAPTER on thesis. I think writing one or two sentences may be difficult, try writing a chapter. While reading this I really never thought about a lot of different ways to go about writing your thesis. I really never thought about writing a paper to write a thesis. That makes so much sense though. You start with a thesis, and then as you are writing material you start finding more about what your thesis really means to you, and how you are going to go about saying that. The example of thinking you’re at a hotel and a beautiful person comes up to you, and then you only have twenty seconds you tell her something to keep her attention. As crazy and/or funny as that may sound, it is exactly like a thesis. One of my favorite lines in this entire book was, “You’re never writing about what you’re writing about – you’re writing about what it means.” I never thought about writing in that sense, but it too makes soooo much sense! That’s why teachers are always telling you to pick a topic that means something to you. When you finally do that, then you can go more in depth with your ideas while you write.
DeVillez, R. Eric, Dow, P. Thomas, McGuire, S. Michael, Swanson, A. Troy. Why White Rice?. Debuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company, 2010. Print. -
Alejandro Morales
It is so hard to believe there are so many world-changing people in this world that we overlook. If it had not been for this article assigned to us, then most of us probably never would have known or read about this story. This story was published over a year ago, and I can bet more than fifty percent of people who were assigned this, if not more, never had even heard of this. As we talk in class about one person making a difference reading things like this make it so thrilling. I think after people read stories like this they want to go out and just make a change. Whenever I see or hear about inspiring stories that have changed the world, then I want to go out myself and be one of those people. Rajeev Goyal is an amazing man and it is just unfathomable for the accomplishments he has made. Another great part about this was how he didn’t let his parents stop him. It’s not that they didn’t want him to do anything, they just wanted him to become a doctor. However, he didn’t want to. He wanted to go out there and do what made him happy and it obviously had a huge effect on people. I did not really understand why Jay-Z and Beyonce were announced in this article. I guess to show that Rajeev did not let the fall out affect what he wanted to do. I thought in the beginning that Jay-Z and Beyonce were going to have this huge impact on the Peace Corps, but it ended up just being about this one individual pretty much. It really is great to read inspiring stories like this. It makes me want to volunteer more and become a better individual to our society.
Hesser, Peter. “A Reporter at Large: Village Voice, The Peace Corp’s Brightest Hope.” New York: The New Yorker.2010. 101-109. Splatter.writing101.net: The Messy Art of Writing. Web 8 Feb. 2012. -
Alejandro Morales
While I was reading “Your Mother and I” I honestly thought there was going to be an ending that ties it all back together. One of those endings that you never saw coming that makes so much sense for them to be doing; however, it was the complete opposite. It was kind of funny how they pretty much solved every single problem over the years, and even ones that haven’t been solved yet. For example, they discovered the cure for AIDS and Parkinson’s. I like how the reading is a very informal piece. I personally think informal writings are more interesting and keep the writer more involved with what is going on. It was even a little more informal then some other pieces I have read. You can tell by the way the topic changes as if you really are in the kitchen making food. The reading would start talking about what to add next while preparing the food in the middle of telling a world changing story. I’m not sure if I was the only one who caught this, or maybe I completely read this wrong. I don’t think I read it wrong though because I read the same five sentences about fifty times. Why does he say that “and it was about time I had my tubes tied.” After I read that part I thought the girl had two moms. Men don’t have their tubes tied! That’s why I was expecting some crazy unexpected ending. That didn’t make sense to me that it would be two moms though because in the reading it talks about conceiving other children. Obviously they would be able to have sex and mess around if they were both women, but they obviously cannot reproduce children if they are both women. It probably was just a funny insert, but when I read that I was so confused. If anybody else caught that, then you had to be confused too!
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Kristina Marynczak
Definatly caught the same sex thing. But you gotta think maybe they were both women because women can fool around just not reproduce from eachother, they can adopt or have a child from a previous man. Also I think most of the story was confusing so its just another perk in there so I agree with you. But all I know is you have to really think outside the box to uinderstand this story.
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Alejandro Morales
The Damage a Man Can Do
Imagine this; you are a young, clueless, three year old child. You have absolutely no recollection of who your father is, or even who your family is. All you know in this world is your dearest, beautiful, loving mother, and she is literally all you have in this world. One sunny, blue-skied, light winded, perfect day, a man comes. You don’t know who this man is, but he is tall. He has a tattoo that runs down the left side of his heavily scarred face. You notice the light amount of grey hair that runs in and out of his beard. You also pay close attention to his dark, black bandana that wraps around the top of his head. He speaks in a raspy voice that almost sounds like a whisper. It is very hard to make out what he is saying, but he is going to bring you and your mother somewhere.
You and your mother are brought to an abandoned house where you notice wooden boards where windows should be, and the almost brown grass that is as tall as you. You have no idea why you are here, but you hear your mom yelling, screaming, and crying at this man. Your mother is holding you for what seems to be dear life. You’re too young to put the pieces together, and you do not know what is happening. The man is yelling at your mom, he is telling her to get on the floor. All you hear is your mother saying, “Leave my baby alone! Just take me! Leave him, please!” Your mom then sets you down on the floor, but still wants to hold you. She is no longer holding you up, but she embraces you as you sit down on the floor.
As you stare at your mother dead in the eyes she tells you how much she loves you. She loves you so much. “Don’t look baby. Close your eyes. Mommy is right here. I love you so much baby. Please close your eyes baby. Mommy loves you so much.” You continue to look your mother straight into her eyes as she tells you all of this. You still can’t figure out what is happening. Your mother starts to talk again, “BOOM.” That is the last sound that you hear. The tall, scary, man leaves the house and you are just sitting on the floor. You look at your mom and her eyes are closed. You try to talk to your mom, but she won’t answer. You look down the floor that you are sitting on, and it is covered in blood. A giant, pool of blood surrounds you. You lie in the puddle of blood for days, literally days. So now what? You have no father, no family, and no mom – she was literally the only person you had. Where do you go from here? What’s the point of living?
Everyday most, and I say most for a reason, people wake up and go through the same routine every morning. Everyone’s routine is unique in their own way. Whether it starts with brushing your teeth before you eat, or eating before you brush your teeth. How many people can honestly say they wake up for one reason, and literally one reason?
I myself can honestly say that there is not one thing in this world that gives me the reason to wake up every morning. I have given this question much thought for a couple days now, and I can’t think of one true reason that I do. I cannot say that my family is the reason I wake up every day. I think it is too broad of a reason and doesn’t really address the manner in an efficient way.
Throughout my days of thinking, I have come to what I believe is my reason for living. I live every single day of my life for the unknown future that lies ahead of me. I wake up wanting to know why I am here. I want to know what my being on this Earth is for. You hear about certain people who change the world because they believe in something and make this huge impact on the world. Well, what is my reasoning for being on this planet? Why aren’t I that one kid who changes the world at nineteen years old? Or invents the new company that puts Apple out of business? I want to know my reasoning for existence. When I picture myself twenty years from now, I have an idea of where I want to be. Maybe when I am thirty years old I’ll find my reasoning, maybe when I am sixty years old I will find my reasoning, maybe I will never find my reasoning. All I can do is wake up every morning, hopefully with a smile on my face that day, and just live my life. Everyone accomplishes something in their life that has an impact on the people around them. Some people’s accomplishments will have a greater impact than others. Until the day that I figure it out, and understand it, then I will truly know what I live for.
If you recall my tragic introduction, and really put yourself in that situation, I think you too would feel that there may be no point in living. Now put yourself in that whole situation again, but imagine yourself at the age you are now. You would have tried to help your mother, right? You would have tried to fight that tall, scary, man away. What if you just couldn’t? You just were not strong enough. Would you then, in loving consent, offer your life to that man to save your mother’s?
All the time people say how they would sacrifice something or themselves to better help out another. How many people would honestly go through with it? I mean, who can honestly say that if someone pointed a gun to their head they would willingly give their life? It takes a lot of courage to sacrifice your life. I have said that many times, but when you picture yourself doing it you sort of second guess yourself. I think people usually say that for reassurance, or to try to show how faithful we can be to one another. However, I don’t think we really sit back and think we are really offering to that person. I mean this is your life!
With all of that being said, I have to admit I have said that for reassurance, or to show that someone can trust me with something. However, there are a very limited amount of people that I would give my life for. You have to take in a lot of factors when you are going to make an offer as serious as this. For example, would you really give your life for your eighty-nine year old grandma, who was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and her condition will only deteriorate? Chances are probably very slim that you would. Now I’m not speaking for everyone, but all I am saying is you may realize that giving your life for your grandma at this point may not really be worth your life.
So you may be thinking as you read this, “Well who is worth dying for then? Or is anybody actually worth it?” This may seem selfish, but there are only two people in this world that I would give my life for. Those two people are my brother, and my sister. My brother is fourteen years old, and my sister is eleven years old. Those are the only two people I would instantly, without hesitation give my life for. Knowing that if I gave my life for them, they could accomplish all of the dreams they still wish for, would be enough for me. At this stage in my life, I lived a lot of things they obviously still haven’t. Of course I still have so much ahead of me, but they have so much more ahead of them. I would want my brother to get the entire High School experience, to make mistakes in his life, to learn from my mistakes in life, and the exact same for my sister. I would want them to have all the things I couldn’t have. I believe for that reason alone they would continuously strive and strive to reach all of their dreams. I sacrificed my life for them to live theirs would make them cherish every single day of their life so much more. Their reasoning for waking up every morning, doing the same routine they do every morning. All for their older brother who sacrificed his life so they can have dreams, and accomplish those dreams. This leads me right into my next point.
What if someone took those dreams away from them? How about that same situation in my introduction with the boy and his mother? Imagine yourself again at your age now in the situation my introduction brings. Seeing your mother murdered in front of you obviously can cause damage to you mentally. Now let me ask you these questions, do some people deserve to die? If you do not think so, then, do some people not deserve to live? Now really, think about those last two questions. How many times do we as people say to one another “I’m gonna kill you!”? I mean we’re joking, right?
For example, you are just sitting at home watching the football game with a couple friends. All of a sudden one of your friends comes in the room with a bucket of water and throws the bucket of water on you. In seconds you’re suddenly drenched in this freezing, cold water. At that point you get up jokingly and run after him yelling, “I’m going to kill you!” Maybe another couple of words in between some other words in that sentence, but you understand my point.
Let me give you another example now. You are sitting at home and you’re completely alone. You hear somebody knock on the door and you go to see who it is. As you open the door a man who looks about in his fifties’ greets you. At this point you are completely confused and want to know who is this man at my front door? He then goes on to say, “Over years and years of my life I have had made a lot of mistakes. One’s I regret deeply. Some that I regret more than others.” You’re standing at your front door now thinking to yourself, “Why the hell did you come to my house telling me this?” You’re listening to this man when all of a sudden he says, “I killed your mother when you were a baby. I made you watch what I did, and then I left you. I am so sorry for what I have done. I regret that day of my life every single moment I stand and breathe on this earth. Over the years I have tried to search for you and apologize to you face to face. As hard as this must be to hear from me, I hope you can reach down deep into your heart and forgive me. If you wouldn’t mind, then I would like to come into your house, and hopefully you can let me further explain things for you.”
Now instantly you have a thousand thoughts cross through your mind, a thousand emotions flying around inside you, and you have no idea how to react to this. You let the man inside and you don’t know what to do. You want to yell at him, but what is that going to do? You want to just release your anger from all those years on him right now. You want to just tell him to leave, and cry. He makes the decision a little easier for you and says, “As I took a life away from you, I want you to take one away from me. Only I want you to kill me.” Another thousand thoughts run through your mind and now you have a chance to actually avenge your mother’s death, right? Do you still right now think that nobody deserves to die? Do you think that maybe he doesn’t deserve to die, but does he really deserve to live? Can you be the one who takes a life away? At this point is it okay to take a life away?
There are not many things that I would literally kill for. Bringing someone’s life to an end is obviously a huge burden that you would have to carry for the rest of your life. Assuming that you were able to get away with it and never get caught. To be honest, I say right now that if anyone ever took away someone in my immediate family, then I would have no problem killing them. I say that right now, but until I am ever in that situation, I don’t know if I would truly, be able to go through with it. I wouldn’t kill for my country, love, or money, but if the day ever came that I had to make the decision of ending a life, then it would be to secure my family’s well-being.
In conclusion, the single man can give you a reason to live life, a reason to give your life, and a reason to take a life all from one relentless encounter. Although the damage a single man can do at that impulsive moment will change your life forever, it is what you decide to do at that actual moment that will impact the life you live. Everything in this world happens for a reason, but what you do at that actual moment will change your life forever. It doesn’t take a traumatic event in your life to view the morals you live by, but it does take a certain set of morals to live by the life you view.
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Roberto Kobik
Let me begin by saying that was a somewhat confusing paper. Great introduction though, after reading the first paragraph I did not want to stop. Now this is a huge compliment because I hate reading with a burning passion. Your introduction grabbed my interest enough for me to read your whole paper. Apart from that however it it a little bit boring for me toward the middle and toward the end. I think that is because you included too many hypothetical situations. It is good to have examples as it clarifies to the reader what you are trying to state and why but you lost my interest toward the middle. However the hypothetical scenario you set up in the introduction paragraph and ho you continued it through the whole essay was nice. I like the way it gets the reader to think about this scenario and input their own decisions of what they would do. However with all of those scenarios you set up I do think it clarified what you would die and kill for. Now to my understanding, you have yet to find what you live for. You said you wake up everyday not knowing what you live for but hoping one day to find out. So in a way you live for understanding, and curiosity for what everyday brings to you. You would die for your brother and sister which you clearly stated. You would not really kill for anything unless something was a possible threat to your family. I do like the style you wrote your paper in. Its kind of an interactive audience style that you wrote in. You asked many questions and set up many hypothetical situations to get your reader actively involved in the topic. To help the reader create his or her own reasoning. Also for your introduction I did not know that was a hypothetical situation so as I read I thought that this actual scenario that happened in your life which caused me too feel sorry for you but also made me curious as a reader to figure out where that situation leads. You used a lot of emotion in your writing because the questions you asked and situations you set up were made for the reader to put themselves in that persons shoes. By doing this it gives the reader a better understanding of your decisions because they can relate the decisions they chose to yours. For example the paragraph toward the end when you said the guy comes to your hose and rings your door bell is a great example of the reader relating to your work. The reader has all of these feelings they have built up through your essay and after reading questions like that it enrolls the reader actively in your work. So as they read that sentence they decide their opinion or answer and then hear yours. Out of all the peer review essays I read so far yours is the first one I read with that style. It is a different style of writing but I do like how you structured your essay.
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Arianna Wright
First off, I’m going to say that I really like the introduction of your paper. The “imagine this” really caught my attention. The entire first paragraph forced me to think outside the box and it made me interested in wanting to read more. I can relate to waking up sometimes and wanting to know why i am here and what exactly is my purpose in life. Personally, we all have moments like that sometimes. In my essay I basically said that there isnt anyone or anything that I would die for. But honestly, after reading your essay, I reconsidered. Sacrificing yourself for your brother and sister for them to accomplish their dreams makes so much sense to me because I would want my little nephew to have the same, even though he’s only 4 years old. “Of course I still have so much ahead of me, but they have so much more ahead of them.” Something about that line really struck me, in a good way. The conclusion was good, I really like the last sentence, “It doesn’t take a traumatic event in your life to view the morals you live by but it does take a certain set of morals to live by the life you view,” because it makes the readers think and leaves them on the edge kind of. Overall, I really enjoyed your paper, I thought it was pretty good, it flowed well to me. I’m not going to lie, the beginning confused me but it didnt hinder me from understanding where you were coming from and it still grabbed my attention. Honestly, I’m not that great at offerring suggestions but in my opinion, your paper is fine.
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Armando Cortez
I got to say that when reading your paper the introduction was strong that it grabbed my attention right away and made me want to keep on reading. Although in the beginning it kind of confused me a little but reading it over again made me understand more clearer what you were trying to get through. I also liked the way you used your paper to try and get the reader involved with the many questions you made. that was good to me in the sense that it was a different and interesting paper to me. Yet i think what you could do next time is maybe how at times it was confusing. Maybe for next time you could get to the point and add on instead of pushing it off for a bit as it was in the introduction. It kind of let me thinking what you were trying to say but if you just work on that you would be good to go. And also try not to use conclusion when your trying to end your paper because that’s something that my com 101 teacher advised not to use so maybe change that. When you said you would die for your sister and brother because you would want them to carry out the things you could’t do. That right there got me thinking and I would die for love but also the peopel close and special to me like my family which includes sisters and parents aswell as cousins, uncles, and aunts. But then again these are questions that are difficult and its hard to just go with one answer but anyway that really opened up to me and made me see things clearer with what you had responded. As far as for killing someone becauses they killed someone in your family ; that’s something people would automatically think of is getting revenge. But that’s not the way and it’s not right to kill for any reason any human being, I know it’s hard but there are other ways to settle things like that it’s just that when something like that happens we sometimes don’t think twice and just want to kill back for what they took from you a family memeber. But honestly, your paper was good and I enjoyed for the most part reading it; I do realize though where your coming from and I beleive for you its only going to get better as you keep writing papers, pretty good way to start.
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Anahi Perez
Your attention grabber was absolutely amazing. My taste in any type of writing always comes down to suspense, if not in the romance category, but with this specific piece of writing it instantly caught my attention. It had me on the tip of my toes through out the introduction. There was so much detail in the first paragraph that it made me a bit nervous to continue to keep reading. It had me asking myself question to predict what would happen. The details make everything so much more understanding and visible. I could easily picture and depict your writing. I first thought that this actually happened to you in real life. This extreme suspense was a definite highlight of your work.
Your essay made me think twice about what I had written for my essay because in fact we do wake up everyday with different goals and purposes. Our lives are never on repeat and we prepare for what your future days will bring us. It is always good to hear what others think about to maintain open views and think twice about your own opinions and answers. It was very hard to critically think about the questions pertaining to our essay. There are plenty of questions that run our mind but we never come to a conclusion, it only leads to different directions along with more questions. You mentioned that it would be rare to give up our life for an elderly person, and I couldn’t agree any more. It is true that the majority people would not give up their life for a grandparent that is diagnosed with a harsh medical condition, they lived their lives, might as well live yours. It does sound selfish but it is the truth.
I really enjoyed how the scenery in the beginning of your essay was evenly spread out. This kept the interest in your writing rapidly going. It did leave my questions unanswered at first, but they were soon answered. Toward the middle of the essay things started to get a bit confusing and I kind of lost a bit of interest. It is clearly said that the only two people you would die for are your younger siblings. What you live for is still a big question and you are yet to look for an answer. What you would kill for was for the well being of your family. You very good in detailed phrases and in explaining deeply on how you feel. So what exactly is the well being of your family? It would be such a great addition to your essay.
You were very well on point with your subjects, there wasn’t any type of high confusion every thing was well laid out. Your examples and situation were perfect examples to help understand your thinking. The style which your essay was written on was very unique and entertaining. The punctuation and sentence structure was very clean. Other than that your essay was definitely an eye opener. Good essay!
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Anthony Stevens
to start i would have to say the introduction was very interesting yet it kind of confused me a bit but when i read it again it made sense. it got me thinking what is going to be talked about next. the interesting part about this paper is the questions asked because it got me thinking about how i myself would answer those questions. it was a great way to get your readers involved in reading more about the paper. one thing to consider is to get to the point and add on rather than pushing it off. also something that i should consider as well is not to use the word conclusion in the conclusion. it was something my com 101 teacher said not to do, it also sounds like your announcing the conclusion. when you said you would die for your brother and sister that made me smile. i would agree with you on dying for your brother and sister because that sounds to me that you have a great relationship between your siblings. i also have a fourteen year old sister and i would also die for her so i felt that i agree with you on dying for your siblings. the killing someone who killed someone in your family would be good or bad in my sense. it would be good to have justice and get rid of the person who would kill someone in your family. the bad part is that it does sound like revenge and it is sometimes not the best solution. there are countless solutions to deal with that. overall i enjoyed reading this paper and you did a good job. i can see where your coming from and it is going to get better as keep writing these papers. good way to start.
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Alejandro Morales
I believe ecological literacy to be the understanding of the ecosystems just as the two words state. Ecological literacy would involve how the species and organisms in the ecosystem affect us as human beings. How we reached the point we are at, how we survive the way we do, how we hunt the animals we hunt because of the food chain. The main point I think of ecological literacy is not knowing exactly how they directly affect us, but understanding that all of those do affect us. For example, I don’t understand global warming like a scientist does, but I do understand that it can be very dangerous and we need to prevent the high levels we may potentially reach. Another example would be the great, big, beautiful, blue sky. I know to some extent that the gases and the reaction of them, with a lot of other things, make the sky blue. I don’t know the exact reasons, but I have an understanding. Just like I have an understanding that if I woke up one morning and saw the sky was green, purple, black, and clouds were yellow, despite the fact that it could possibly be absolutely gorgeous and beautiful, there is something entirely wrong. Furthermore, the ecosystem has a huge factor on why we as humans live the way we do. So to reiterate on my point of ecological literacy, it would be the understanding of that ecosystems do affect us, but not knowing directly how. I wouldn’t count recycling or “going green” to be ecological literacy. However, I would count understanding that in some way recycling and going green would have an effect on the ecosystems which in return has an effect on us.
Capra, Fritjof. “From the Web of Life. Splatter.Writing101.net. Web. 25 Jan. 2012. -
Alejandro Morales
The grading contract is completely reasonable. As long as you put forth the effort in this class, then there is no reason you should not receive at least a B. Honestly, you can probably do less then what is expected and still receive a B in the class. With some devoted work and pushing yourself to excel there is also no reason that you cannot receive an A in this class.
Anthony Stevens, 
Amber Bey, 
Roberto Kobik and one other person are discussing. 
Maura Bilek, 
Dawn Murry, 
Anahi Perez, 
Armando Cortez and 2 others are discussing. 
Arianna Wright, and 
Kristina Marynczak is discussing. 
Anahi Perez 5:00 pm on April 22, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
The first thing I notice when reading any type of writings is the title. I am one that judges an actual book by its cover. Your title gave your writing an extra spark, and if I didn’t have to do a peer review I would had most likely read it. I really like how you interpreted the very beginning of the class project from the point of the speed dating process. It would be great if there was more detailed description on your group. Did you guys meet on a regular basis or was communication more through email? I know many groups used different strategies because of busy work schedules. What was your original idea, since you mentioned that everyone had different ideas? Were any tough situations you were in while participating with the group? Do you think we had enough time to work properly on this project or do you think we needed more time?
Before the Red School House was there any other charities or organizations that you tried to participate in, or was this your first successful organization? I really liked how you incorporated the name of the representative that you were working with. This provides additional information is somebody else would like to volunteer there. It would be nice to have additional details about the Little Red School House. I was curious to see when they originated and what type of activities do they perform? I know you have yet to participate in the community service project, but have you had an interest in the environment before this project came into your life?
What was one of the hardest struggles when working with your group. You had mentioned that everyone had different ideas, was that a tough choice to make? Before you had entered this class was there any past services that you volunteered in? I really wish your volunteer service was included in the draft, so that way I could had given a full peer review. I have always had a great interest in the environment, and volunteering at the Little Red School House would had probably been a great experience. It would be nice to include tips and advice on how to care for the environment on your final paper to inform the reader that small changes could improve our earth. Despite the fact that today is Earth Day many people might be interested in your service work the day of the fair.
The paper was well structured, it was no confusing. The paragraphs were not too bulky and long either. This was a great start to your paper. I am interested to keep reading about your experience with nature at the Little Red School House. It was very interesting to read the beginning process. I am more than sure that when the fair comes many people are going to be able to relate to your experience, due to the fact that many of us have visited the located when we were younger. Overall great start!
Roberto Kobik 9:03 pm on April 22, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I want to start off by saying you are a good writer. You focus on a lot of aspects in this piece and it has flow. You had a chronological order style paper which is obvious but what is so good about it is that u did not miss any details. You began the story from the start which was speed dating to make good groups. Then you progressed after that in a detailed form. It is good that you write like that because the reader becomes more involved. You paint a picture that the audience can visualize and relive while reading this paper. This is only just the beginning as well because you still have to write about the field work. So if the beginning is that vivid than I’m sure the actual story of the field work will be as well which is a good thing to have under your belt. Hopefully your group can stay on task and be able to meet up as well. I have had a lot of trouble with the schedules at first because none of us were sure what days we were able to meet up. This was a common problem in other groups from what I have seen. Our group was able to make a schedule for every person and see which days we can all meet, this helped a lot. But the time frame on this project is short so you want to make sure you and your group is on it. Also for the volunteer work like you mentioned in your paper, if a single person wants to volunteer at Little Red School House then the coordinators will assign you something. If you come in a group you are able to have more customizable options of what you want to do. Little Red School House is not the only organization that does this either. Other organizations do that as well because it is easier in a way for them. When they control one person they are much easier to manage than controlling a group would be. And if you let group volunteers pick the concepts of what they want to do for the organization it is also good because their moral would be increased. Its good to see that you have a good writing style and can be very descriptive. I think your next addition to this piece will be really good as well because this first part that you just wrote is like a set up for the rest of the paper. However, you should work on an introduction for your paper. This way the reader is more interested in reading your paper, and it helps tart your story or setting as well. At the end, just make a nice conclusion and that restates your purpose and your paper should rock. It already is good and it is about one fourth of the way finished. I look forward to reading the fully completed version on our next peer review.
Amber Bey 11:26 pm on April 22, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I think the process of choosing partners was definitely different. I agree that it would make for a better ending result to the project, but I also think it was kind of a waste of time. I was not there the day we had to pick partners, but I feel that it could have potentially become a bad situation. It really isn’t that big of a deal; it is just something that I thought of while reading. Anyways, it is crazy that we are actually doing the same volunteer project. After going through a couple of failures in trying to come up with a plan, we all decided that we wanted to volunteer for the Little Red Schoolhouse as well. It seemed like a good idea since we wanted to do any kind of service that had to do with nature. Unfortunately it was hard for us to get ahold of anyone in order to do the service. Eventually we found an opportunity, but it is not until next weekend. It is going to be difficult to get everything done in time, but hopefully everything works out as planned.
I read about the volunteer opportunities for the little red schoolhouse online, much of it had to do with invasive species and preservation. That is pretty much all I wrote about in my paper. We had the same problems as you guys with communication and planning. It was a fail. One of my partners was actually supposed to meet one day before the rest of our group, but she couldn’t find anyone that was working that day. I was hoping she would have been able to get something done because we would have had a little bit to write about, but unfortunately we pretty much have not accomplished a single thing. I think it is awesome that you guys actually had a few people out of your group that had the time to get things done. I also think it is great that you are excited to work with the organization. Since most of us have been there when we were younger it should be a fun throw back.
Once you are actually able to write about your volunteer experience, I think it would be smart to talk about the ups and downs of the experience. I also think it is important to interview as many people who are experienced in the field as possible. This will give you more to write about that you did not already know from personal experience. Plus, this is a big section of what we’re going to be graded on. It seems like this might be a little more difficult because of our choice in service. For me I think it might be hard to come up with interesting questions that will actually be worth asking or adding to the final draft of the paper. Hopefully the leaders of the organization will be open and willing to share a lot of information with us. I wish you luck in your venture to volunteer and I hope everyone gets a finished product in the end.
Anthony Stevens 12:17 pm on April 24, 2012 Permalink | Log in to Reply
To start off, I have to say you are a good writer. You focused on a lot of the aspects in this piece and it has a good flow to it. I like how you had everything in chronological order which looks obvious, but it has all the right details. You began the story from the start when you did the speed dating to make good groups. Then it progressed after in a good detailed form. It is good that you write like that because the reader becomes more involved with the paper. I could actually visualize the situation and relive the whole process with interviewing people to be part of the groups. This is the only the beginning as well because you still have to write about the field work. So if the beginning is that vivid than I’m sure the actual story from the field work will be as well which is a good thing to have under your belt. Hopefully your group can stay on task and be able to meet up as well. I had trouble with the schedules at first because I would be in class when the rest of my group would be free and so on and so forth. This was a common problem in other groups from what I have seen. Our group was able to make a schedule for every person and see which days we can all meet, this helped a lot. But the time frame on this project is short so you want to make sure you and your group is on it. Also for the volunteer work like you mentioned in your paper, if a single person wants to volunteer at Little Red School House then the coordinators will assign you something. If you come in a group you are able to have more customizable options of what you want to do. Little Red School House is not the only organization that does this either. Other organizations do that as well because it is easier in a way for them. When they control one person they are much easier to manage than controlling a group would be. And if you let group volunteers pick the concepts of what they want to do for the organization it is also good because their moral would be increased. It’s good to see that you have a good writing style and can be very descriptive. I think your next addition to this piece will be really good as well because this first part that you just wrote is like a set up for the rest of the paper. However, you should work on an introduction for your paper. This way the reader is more interested in reading your paper and it helps start your story or setting as well. At the end, just make a nice conclusion and that restates your purpose and your paper should rock. It already is good and it is about one fourth of the way finished. I look forward to reading the fully completed version on our next peer review.